(whenever i reference bitches in this blog, it is of the female species that i'm specifically referring to. i'm just telling you because, in lakeview, there are many different kinds of bitches. this post is about tacos only.)
listen up, bitches: what makes you think that, while on a CTA bus, you are somehow exempt from the moral rule (and public transportation rule of thumb) pertaining to giving up your seat to the elderly, handicapped, pregnant, injured, or small children? you stupid bitches, you ain't no exempt!
what, are you somehow so deluded and trapped in time that you believe men are the only ones expected to give up their seats for those more in need? give.me.a.break.
for the last 50+ years you women have been demanding equality - desiring a big ol' pair of cultural testicles, burning your bras, loving your feminist lifestyles, attending poetry readings, trying so, so hard to elect a female president, earning bigger salaries, anchoring your own nightly network news, but when it comes to riding a bus...
all of a sudden you all shrink back into your delicate flower/victim role and in some fucked up way believe you are the needy one? i can't stand up on a bus, i'm a woman! it's much too rough for my delicate nature! oh the vapors!
based on what? because you have a vagina?
(!)
if it were legal to abuse a woman for thinking such things, i would domestically assault the shit out of you. get back in the kitchen, raise some kids, live off of your husband's allowance! and don't forget - only speak when spoken to!
you want it bass ackwards? you got it!
bitches of 2010: when grandma, grandpa, or special eddie get on the bus, pick your lazy ass up off the seat and move it somewhere else or, god forbid, stand up. i know you can do it if you put your tiny, fashion-obsessed (omg that is so cute! you look so cute! is this totes cutes or nots?) minds to it.
i've never been known to give up my seat for any young-ish woman who is not in physical need, and i don't intend to in the near future. you, my able-bodied dear, are perfectly capable of standing up for that 10 minute ride just as much as i am. hold on tight! and i could care less about sleeping with you, so don't try to hold that over my head. obviously that strategic get-what-you-want-outta-life tactic of yours will go nowhere with this guy. the fact that you're wearing heels does nothing for me. struggle all you want. i'm more concerned about whether or not the shoes match the outfit.
stupid bitches. get up! it's 2010. find your sea legs already.
