Have you ever looked at a large crucifix and thought, "Jesus Christ, you have nice abs..." ...?

I have.

Oh my god, guess what happened today? So, I was sitting at my desk listening to some music with my headphones, pretending to work, and all of a sudden Will Smith's "Switch" came onto the satellite radio station that I was listening to. Usually, I would have flipped out and ripped my head from my body because I hate ALL that Will Smith is. However, I was in the middle of editing a few documents, so I just let it continue to play. Without me knowing it, my foot starts tapping to the beat, my head starts rocking side to side, and my body begins to do a light rock. Before I know it, I feel compelled to clap...but I restrain the urge. When the song ended, I had realized what I had just done and therefore committed suicide. Thanks, Will.

I ended up not going home, even though I thought about it like 25 different times. Oh well. My Mom even bribed me with buying me whatever groceries I wanted if I came home. But alas, I had a hair appointment at the Buzz Sunday, so therefore I remained in this wonderful area. Har. Oh well, my hair looks great...but I'm hungry.

Well, I'm at work, but am I working? Not right now... I have stuff to do, a lot actually. However, I feel as if I rush through everything that is due for today, they're just going to give me more stuff to do, only to supplement the lack of tasks. So, I decided I'd just take my time today. I mean, it's Friday. Nothing is supposed to happen on Friday's. I'm decorating my desk and office right now, too. I've bought a few things, stolen a few things from the supply room, bought some stuff at Target to put on the walls, and of course I have pictures galore. I even bought a nice, friendly, work-inducing office plant named Sven. The plant looks nothing like a Sven -- he's a tropical plant, all wild and exotic-looking...but I like the name Sven. So that he is. Supposedly, office plants are supposed to keep the air in your office cleaner, as well as keep the workers postive, focused and motivated to get things done. Riiiiiiight. My salary is the only thing that keeps me working, and smiling while I do it. Bosses love smiling workers :)

Here's some work info, shall you need it --

Ryan Sumner
Proposal Writer
Pearson Educational Measurement
319.339.6400 Ext. 4672
ryan.sumner@pearson.com

Oh, and I'm not going home this weekend, so scratch that idea out of your mind.

So, last night I watched "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" on-demand, and even though I fell asleep through parts of it (probably important parts) I came to the conclusion of "Wow, what a great idea." If I could erase a few people from my mind, YOU BETTER BELIEVE I WOULD.

Time for bed!

Ugh, I'm such a momma's boy. I've decided that I'm going home this weekend. I haven't been there for quite some time now -- since the last week in September to be exact. So, yeah, it's been a little over a month and I'm feeling a little selfish for not going home to see my Mom and Dad. Being the last child (out of four) to leave the house, there is a lot of pressure, stress, and guilt attached to the circumstance. Granted, I've been living in Iowa City for almost 2 years now, but yet I still feel like my Mom and Dad expect me to come home every weekend, or call every other night. My Mom and I are pretty close. Extremely close, actually. Now, I know all kids say this, but, I really am my Mom's favorite child. Call me what you will, but my Mom and I have always had a special bond that no one else in my family can come near to. Sure, my Mom loves all her children, but with she and I-- things are different. I can honestly say that out of the four, I'm the only one that has my Mom as both a mother and a friend. A best friend. My Mom is so proud of me, more proud than anyone else is. She's the best. I couldn't imagine my life without her, nor would I ever want to. She knows everything about me - she absolutely loves everything about me - imperfections and all. Every single thing. Everything. No one else on this Earth does. Not one single person. Not one.

So, I lost my cell phone. I know people lose their cell phones all the time and get new ones, but not me. I've had the same phone (well, phone number/plan) for a longgggggggggg time. I had hundreds of phone numbers in it that I wouldn't even know where to begin to get them back. Ugh. It's like losing your identity. Okay, maybe it's not that dramatic, but it's a really big deal. I think I'll go to the Sprint kiosk in the mall tomorrow and, I GUESS, purchase a new one since I have the phone insured. I don't even know how I lost it. All I know is that I bought some stuff at Pier 1 and when leaving, noticed that it was downpouring outside - so I put my cell phone in my sweater pocket. I ran like a school girl to my car and hopped in, not knowing anything had happened. It wasn't until this very moment that I've come to the conclusion that it's gone forever. I've searched in every place there is to search (to which I've come across some things that should have remained unfound) only to come up with nothing.

On a happier note, I start my new job tomorrow. I'm unreal excited. Finally, a grown-up job that is focused around my education, my work experiences, and my intelligence. I don't have to deal with customers, I don't have to sell anything, I don't even have to be nice. I get my own office and I am handed stuff to do that requires thought, intellect, and a little creative genius. And if that wasn't enough, I get paid an unreal amount of money to do it. So, again...unreal excited, yet unreal sad at the loss of my Sanyo 8200.

I'm too good for you, anyway.