don't get me wrong: i like a drink as much as the next guy. or girl.

but as i near the big 2-0

dammit, i mean...3-0

i've come to realize that i no longer enjoy getting wasted.

what has happened to me?

i can remember my finer moments: iowa city, puking in someone's backyard. new york city, puking in an alley (yes, there are a few) while nearly getting mugged in my drunken stupor home, wherever it was. what's my address? i eventually found it. puking out of a rental car in indianapolis (as a passenger), and just...3 weeks ago, puking my brains out after a small scale indie-electronica concert whose musical stylings did not, under any stretch of the imagination, warrant double vodka water after double vodka water.

oof.

what i can specifically recall about all of those instances is that i lost all control. and live to regret it.

how i've managed to not jaywalk and get hit by a bus, i have no idea. but i'm thankful.

what i now know is that in all of those moments, the best part was the buzz. the buzz is that magical moment when things are amplified, and you can feel it, you can remember it. yes. who doesn't enjoy a good buzz? non drinkers, i suppose. but personally, i don't trust non-drinkers. i don't like the way they look at me as i make the honest effort to enunciate. to appear sober, like them.

buzzkills. you win, congratulations. where's your trophy.

anyway, i enjoy embracing that small window of time when you feel better, fun, open to suggestion. it's what partying should feel like.

and then that damn shots-shots-shots song comes on, so you do one or ten, start drinking without tasting, start not remembering things. puking.

oof.

going forward, that small window of time - where things seem good, seem fun; i'm going to recognize the moment and enjoy it.

you're partying, ryan. have fun but keep it cool.

and reign it in so i can wake up the next day before 9am, tend to my garden, vacuum dog hair, and perhaps polish silverware.

bring it, 3-0.

are you watching the republican primary debates?

before i begin, let me make one thing clear; i'm not anti-republican.

i'm anti-stupid people.

considering such, is it just me or does the entire line-up of republican nominees consist of undeniable morons?

wait, wait...i take that back. i misspoke. there is actually one non-moron up there.

john huntsman.

but, isn't it strangely ironic and mostly humorous that he is probably the least popular among republican voters?

wait, he's not even at most of the debates. is he still running? if not - smart move.

oh, and cain, unlike the rest, did catch my eye a time or two although merely for the fact that he offered an actual plan.

a catchy plan with a catchy a name. too catchy, though. too eerily similar to pizza hut's 5-5-5 deal.

and the kicker to me is that even pizza hut's 5-5-5 deal made no sense. unless i missed something, i believe the hook was you can order up to 5 pizzas of any size, with up to 5 ingredients on them for $5 each? is that right?

seemingly amazing, but wait one second. why did size matter? what normal person would opt for a small pizza rather than a large, if they all cost the same? if i'm screwing that up, my apologies, but to my defense who can follow the details during a 30 second clip of rolling pepperonis and gooey cheese stretching across the screen?

i digress.

so, what if cain became the president of the united states?

could you imagine?

could you imagine any of these people being the POTUS?

COULD YOU IMAGINE IT?

i used to be anti-obama, mostly because i thought he was all talk.

which, don't get me wrong, obama's smooth operator appeal is undeniable.

he's a great speaker, is a wonderful father & husband, and has a progressive approach.

but my chief concern was that he lacked in getting things done.

HOWEVER

what i hadn't considered in entirety is why he can't get anything done.

republicans.

they all shop around their glossy soundbites of: obama has failed us, obama hasn't done this & that, obama hasn't solved our problems.

they certainly caught my ear. america is in trouble. no question.

but let's take it past obama. after all - he can't single-handedly decide the fate of our country.

oh yeah, congress. they're a part of this mess, too. a big part.

time after time, they stop him from going forward. on everything. on anything.

they want to stop his momentum toward solving problems. they are the obstacle.

republicans want america to stumble, stop, and regress during obama's presidency so that

and this is big

so they can check mark his failures with their big, red pens - then spew to america how they're going to change things when they are president.

selfish. detrimental. destructive.

unacceptable.

sabotaging america today so that they can get elected tomorrow?

it's sickening.

obama may not be perfect, but at least he is acting in our best interest - not reacting in self-interest. he has a vision for a better america and it's more than anything any republican has offered in my lifetime.

PS. this is not new information.

i've just had enough.

i walk the fine line of hypocrisy every single day.

point: it drives me absolutely nuts when friends/family post millions of pictures of their kids. status update after status update concerning what their kid did, said out loud, or threw up in the middle of the grocery store. interrupting my riveting commentary on political injustices to inform me that their kid was elmo for halloween.

so annoying. it's one of my least favorite things.

but i imagine that's how my friends/family feel when i post a million pictures/videos of my two dogs sleeping. eating. playing tug-of-war. posting status update after status update of what my dogs chewed up, barked at, or threw up in the middle of the dog park. interrupting their commentary on political injustices to inform them that my dogs were bumblebees for halloween.

i can't help it - they're so gosh darn cute.

oh, which reminds me, sorry for interrupting...but just the other day buster and bella did the cutest thing ever. don't worry, i have pictures...

i could kick myself for not jotting down the intermittent thoughts and ideas that, much like a stray breeze or meandering spider of the night, have entered one of my ears and passed through the other without leaving remnants or at the very least a fecal trail.

dammit.

one thing i can tell you for sure: this blog is back in action.

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