I can't quite put my finger on it, but American Idol is so very unappealing this year. No spunk, no pizazz--the only entertainment is watching a a 17 year old kid make a fool of himself and provide fodder for the national media.

How special.

Yes, LaKeisha can sing, and so can Melinda. Who cares though? A lot of people in this world can sing. Singing doesn't produce "idols" however the "X factor" does. Nobody has any edge or redeaming qualities, or quite simply, a personality. It's a shame, really.

Sometimes I'll look in my bathroom mirror while lip synching some long-winded love ballad and think to myself, "If only I was on American Idol."

Then they'd know who's boss.

Cuz I'm a BOSS.

The other day, a woman came up to me and asked "Is your hair lighter on the top?" I quickly said, "Uh, no." I thought she was asking if I dyed my hair, or something to that effect. Then I got to thinking...was she asking me if my hair was thinning at the top? For the last 6 months, I've been losing hair due to stress and some health issues, but I didn't realize it was noticeable to anyone but myself. I, fortunately, have rather thick hair, so if I were to lose a little, it wouldn't really hurt anything.

But holy hell apparently I'm balding at the speed of light.

Has anyone seen that commercial where this guy is offering his "professional" services of dealing with troubled teens? Basically, he will fix your unruly children. The commercial then cuts to this scenario of a conversation between a disgruntled daughter and her mother:

Daughter: I hate you!
Mother: *Words are muted so that we only see her violent reaction of flaling arms and stern looks*

I hope they get to the bottom of that.

So, I read in a men's magazine the other day that leather square-toed shoes are no longer considered cool. This isn't good news because, a year ago when square-toed shoes were the "must have" of the season, I bought three pairs. So I have all of these shoes and nowhere to wear them. I'm kind of mad at Details for that. How can things be so hit or miss so quickly? And then they said that the only place that sells square-toed shoes were cheap stores like Aldo. Ummm, I thought Aldo was kind of expensive? Does that make me cheap? I wasn't prepared for all of these life-questioning scenarios when I read the article. I was just trying to pass time while eating some cereal.

Is it just me, or is wall-to-wall carpeting overrated? The same goes for mailboxes.

Yesterday I was reading a magazine and saw a picture of Gwenyth Paltrow's daughter, Apple. Without hesitation, the first thought to come to my mind was "What a little bitch that girl is going to be."

I mean, seriously, don't you just want to slap Gwenyth sometimes? I do.

Phone Conversation between Molly Fitzgerald and Ryan Sumner

ryansumner: Hey Mollz, what's up...?
Molly: Um, I'm just reading something that my journalist friend in Haiti wrote. It's so bad. I need go back there and help.
ryansumner: Why, what happened?
Molly: Ryan, it's bad. You should have seen this picture with this dad holding his two dead daughters.
ryansumner: How'd they die?
Molly: The U.N. soldiers shot them for no reason.
ryansumner: Molly, you know they must of had it coming or something...
Molly: Ryan, no, they were shot in their sleep.
ryansumner: ...Maybe they were snoring...
Molly: That's not even funny. *click*

Sorry for offending you, Molly. Let's be friends again.