I'm having a really tough time getting through this transition. I don't know if I can do it. Why, why am I even doing this in the first place? I'm almost sure I'm not strong enough for this kind of change. I really need help right now. Somebody...HELP.
Natural peanut butter is sick.
How I miss my Skippy.
5.26.2009
People of California: move. There are other places to live. I know, it's tough: you won't have year long temperate weather and get to wear oversized sunglasses everywhere you go, but think "big picture." Live in a state that accepts its citizens as individuals, not majority rule. Get married, have children, and watch them build snowmen. Heck, put on your new Northface and go out with them to build a snowfamily with two Moms or two Dads, whatever your situation may be. All because you can, legally.
It'll all be OK. Just move. Leave behind the sun-tanned ignorance. Embrace four seasons. Expect and receive equal rights.
What does California really have to offer anyway, other than paparazzi, plastics, tinsel, and reality tv?
Not much. Let its economy and elite bragging rights go down with its crumbling foundation (literally and figuratively).
Maine, Connecticut, Massachusetts, and Iowa are great states to live in. More are on the way.
In fact, former 3 year Iowa citizen right here. Coralville, represent!
It'll all be OK. Just move. Leave behind the sun-tanned ignorance. Embrace four seasons. Expect and receive equal rights.
What does California really have to offer anyway, other than paparazzi, plastics, tinsel, and reality tv?
Not much. Let its economy and elite bragging rights go down with its crumbling foundation (literally and figuratively).
Maine, Connecticut, Massachusetts, and Iowa are great states to live in. More are on the way.
In fact, former 3 year Iowa citizen right here. Coralville, represent!
5.21.2009
The Wallflowers' One Headlight just came on and it changed my mood exponentially for the day. Thanks for that guys. Oldie but goodie.
Speaking of, I was going to post something about, gasp, Demi Lovato's La La Land. The song somehow shuffled its way into my earbuds and I was OK with that. While I was listening to the angsty lyrics, I was like YES, so true Demi. Rock on. But, after researching the lyrics, it's probably best I didn't quote them. The song is mostly about not being an LA-byproduct. I've never even been to LA so I can't really relate with that, but I can relate with this, pardon my quoting-from-a-teen-queen-that-knows-nothing-about-the-real-world-yet:
I am confident
But I still have my moments
Baby, that's just me
I'm not a supermodel
I still eat McDonald's
Baby, that's just me
OK, well I don't eat at McDonald's, well, wait, I sometimes eat their soft-serve cones and McNuggets. Guilty.
The bigger picture is being proud and confident in the skin you're in. It's such a disappointment to see people get caught up in their bodies and physical image. In a world trapped within the lonely grips of vanity, it's refreshing to think about those who embrace themselves for who they really are, not how many abdominals can be seen, not how dark their tan is, not how fresh their clothes are.
Nothing is sexier than unabashed confidence for absolutely no reason at all. People who rock out their personality will always capture my attention first before some hard shell of a human being ever will.
You can slap an ass only so many times before you begin to wish there was a single, shred of thought process going on in their mind during the pale moonlight afterglow.
That is, a thought process other than, gotta work on my delts in the morning.
I hope you don't wake up old and alone, and probably fat. Live that life of yours and do what it is that makes you happy.
All in moderation.
After all, we can be cool and confident, but we can still have our moments.
It's human.
Speaking of, I was going to post something about, gasp, Demi Lovato's La La Land. The song somehow shuffled its way into my earbuds and I was OK with that. While I was listening to the angsty lyrics, I was like YES, so true Demi. Rock on. But, after researching the lyrics, it's probably best I didn't quote them. The song is mostly about not being an LA-byproduct. I've never even been to LA so I can't really relate with that, but I can relate with this, pardon my quoting-from-a-teen-queen-that-knows-nothing-about-the-real-world-yet:
I am confident
But I still have my moments
Baby, that's just me
I'm not a supermodel
I still eat McDonald's
Baby, that's just me
OK, well I don't eat at McDonald's, well, wait, I sometimes eat their soft-serve cones and McNuggets. Guilty.
The bigger picture is being proud and confident in the skin you're in. It's such a disappointment to see people get caught up in their bodies and physical image. In a world trapped within the lonely grips of vanity, it's refreshing to think about those who embrace themselves for who they really are, not how many abdominals can be seen, not how dark their tan is, not how fresh their clothes are.
Nothing is sexier than unabashed confidence for absolutely no reason at all. People who rock out their personality will always capture my attention first before some hard shell of a human being ever will.
You can slap an ass only so many times before you begin to wish there was a single, shred of thought process going on in their mind during the pale moonlight afterglow.
That is, a thought process other than, gotta work on my delts in the morning.
I hope you don't wake up old and alone, and probably fat. Live that life of yours and do what it is that makes you happy.
All in moderation.
After all, we can be cool and confident, but we can still have our moments.
It's human.
5.20.2009
Just for the record:
I've eaten way too much peanut butter this week already;
I seriously cannot stand to see the face of John or Kate or their 8. Who cares about them?
I can't stop thinking about the peanut butter ice cream I had last Saturday.
I sometimes worry that I'll sleepwalk off of my bedroom balcony and then, of course, plummet.
I'm really glad American Idol is almost over with so people will stop saying the words adam, lambert, kris, and allen.
I need a tan.
I've eaten way too much peanut butter this week already;
I seriously cannot stand to see the face of John or Kate or their 8. Who cares about them?
I can't stop thinking about the peanut butter ice cream I had last Saturday.
I sometimes worry that I'll sleepwalk off of my bedroom balcony and then, of course, plummet.
I'm really glad American Idol is almost over with so people will stop saying the words adam, lambert, kris, and allen.
I need a tan.
5.19.2009
This is the ryansumner chill-out blog. Just chillin. Nothing else. ChillBlog. RyChill. You get it...
I've come to realize that I get caught up worrying about the fate of others FAR too much. For whatever reason, I feel the constant need to mother those close to me. If only my advice went beyond their ears. But should it? Probably not, but at least I put it out there. Not everyone swats at houseflies with flyswatters. Sometimes people catch them, open a door, and let them go only to come back again, inevitably.
I think that's the purpose of my advice and affectionate attention.
Don't do this, do that. Could you get real for 5 seconds? If I were you. Maybe you should think about it this way. Well in my opinion...
I need to stop. I know what I'm talking about. I think. And it's OK if they don't buy it. I personally feel satisfied with what I want out of myself (and others) by this stage of my life. How I live my life. Not everyone embraces it, though. Not everybody knows what they want out of their life. Maybe I don't either, even though I think I do. Something tells me that I do. Personally. It's not about being self-righteous, god knows I dislike that quality in others. It's more about what drives me to be the way that I am, to do the things that I do, and gives me the voice to say what I say.
Because I believe in me.
And that's why I get out of bed every day, that's why I do what I do, why I say what I say.
Drive.
I see here and now, and I enjoy it. Immensely. But the cliche "tomorrow is promised to no one" sticks in my mind like taffy on a hot, summer day. It goos, tacks, and bubbles a little bit. Permeating as my rock. My taffy rock.
Push yourself, go where they think you can't, do what you dream. Live life but, at the same time, live a life worth living. And take pride in that.
Smile.
I've come to realize that I get caught up worrying about the fate of others FAR too much. For whatever reason, I feel the constant need to mother those close to me. If only my advice went beyond their ears. But should it? Probably not, but at least I put it out there. Not everyone swats at houseflies with flyswatters. Sometimes people catch them, open a door, and let them go only to come back again, inevitably.
I think that's the purpose of my advice and affectionate attention.
Don't do this, do that. Could you get real for 5 seconds? If I were you. Maybe you should think about it this way. Well in my opinion...
I need to stop. I know what I'm talking about. I think. And it's OK if they don't buy it. I personally feel satisfied with what I want out of myself (and others) by this stage of my life. How I live my life. Not everyone embraces it, though. Not everybody knows what they want out of their life. Maybe I don't either, even though I think I do. Something tells me that I do. Personally. It's not about being self-righteous, god knows I dislike that quality in others. It's more about what drives me to be the way that I am, to do the things that I do, and gives me the voice to say what I say.
Because I believe in me.
And that's why I get out of bed every day, that's why I do what I do, why I say what I say.
Drive.
I see here and now, and I enjoy it. Immensely. But the cliche "tomorrow is promised to no one" sticks in my mind like taffy on a hot, summer day. It goos, tacks, and bubbles a little bit. Permeating as my rock. My taffy rock.
Push yourself, go where they think you can't, do what you dream. Live life but, at the same time, live a life worth living. And take pride in that.
Smile.
5.18.2009
This morning I read a heart-breaking yet eye-opening news article about Lyme disease. I always likened Lyme disease to Irene on the Real World, and more recently to the gorilla that went crazy and nearly killed someone. But this article shed a different light on the disease. I never realized how truly extensive and debilitating the symptoms of Lyme disease could actually be. Knowledge is power, perhaps bug bites should be researched a little more thoroughly to make sure it wasn't by a tick?
5.16.2009
5.15.2009
It's funny how you can completely turn your mood around by popping in some Feist. It's the small things.
Current thoughts:
Stop internally labeling everyone at the gym as douchebag 1, douchebag 2, bitch A, bitch B. I need to be at peace with the people at the gym. I don't know why I get so bitter at the gym, it must be a body image issue or something. Yes, I'm not perfect.
I wish people would re-think pulling leaves off trees.
And while you're at it, don't tie your dog to a stop sign.
The mornings can be quite beautiful, if only you could drag yourself out of bed to see it. The rise helps you focus, the cool air clears your mind, the still is nice. All in all it makes you travel to comfortable places in your mind. At peace.
Do you know that feeling on Thanksgiving morning? Crisp, fall air, fall sunlight...food cooking, family near, ease, comfort, no commitments...I live for that feeling.
Moments from weather, I have them often. A sense of being, depending on the temperature, the clouds, the sun, the rain, the feeling right before a storm, the light of day, either bright, dark, or hazy. It brings back memories, it puts me in places, it makes me think, not in words, but in a time and place. Takes me places I've been, and want to be.
These things were on my mind yesterday/today.
I get myself. That's all that matters.
Current thoughts:
Stop internally labeling everyone at the gym as douchebag 1, douchebag 2, bitch A, bitch B. I need to be at peace with the people at the gym. I don't know why I get so bitter at the gym, it must be a body image issue or something. Yes, I'm not perfect.
I wish people would re-think pulling leaves off trees.
And while you're at it, don't tie your dog to a stop sign.
The mornings can be quite beautiful, if only you could drag yourself out of bed to see it. The rise helps you focus, the cool air clears your mind, the still is nice. All in all it makes you travel to comfortable places in your mind. At peace.
Do you know that feeling on Thanksgiving morning? Crisp, fall air, fall sunlight...food cooking, family near, ease, comfort, no commitments...I live for that feeling.
Moments from weather, I have them often. A sense of being, depending on the temperature, the clouds, the sun, the rain, the feeling right before a storm, the light of day, either bright, dark, or hazy. It brings back memories, it puts me in places, it makes me think, not in words, but in a time and place. Takes me places I've been, and want to be.
These things were on my mind yesterday/today.
I get myself. That's all that matters.
5.13.2009
The Buffalo plane crash is still bothering me. Yesterday I said that people automatically want someone to blame when bad things happen. That remains true. I also said that in times of tragedy and loss, direct accountability can be like an endless game of hide and seek. Sometimes there's someone there, sometimes there's not.
Accidents happen.
Sometimes inexplicably, sometimes unavoidably, sometimes inevitably. Let's not forget: planes are machines, pilots are human. You can be trained, certified, and promoted all day long, but in reality, it doesn't mean that human error no longer exists. In theory, we can feel assured by documentation, plaques, and seals of approval, knowledge is power, but it won't shield us from circumstance. Maybe the pilot was a slow learner, maybe he didn't do what he was supposed to do when the plane stalled, maybe Colgan Air and the FAA should re-evaluate its training and certification protocol. Maybe lots of things. Regardless, the situation should be seen like this: an airplane is a manmade machine, flying through air incredibly high and incredibly fast, and it's being controlled and operated by humans.
There are absolutely no guarantees in that scenario. The risks outweigh the convenience, always. But it's a risk many take.
Human error will always be a threat to our safety. Nothing is safe, fool-proof. Sometimes its as simple and circumstantial as being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It's so cliche, but yet true. And when that happens, there's nothing you can do. You can hope and pray for saftey and well being, but that's about it.
That's the way life works.
I sympathize with the victims' families. Something so horrific and hopeless is heart wrenching and difficult to digest. I would never even try to imagine what it must feel like to lose a friend or loved one in such a tragedy. This story obviously haunts me.
I will say this, though: no one is guaranteed a long, healthy, safe life.
So, in the meantime, enjoy it.
Accidents happen.
Sometimes inexplicably, sometimes unavoidably, sometimes inevitably. Let's not forget: planes are machines, pilots are human. You can be trained, certified, and promoted all day long, but in reality, it doesn't mean that human error no longer exists. In theory, we can feel assured by documentation, plaques, and seals of approval, knowledge is power, but it won't shield us from circumstance. Maybe the pilot was a slow learner, maybe he didn't do what he was supposed to do when the plane stalled, maybe Colgan Air and the FAA should re-evaluate its training and certification protocol. Maybe lots of things. Regardless, the situation should be seen like this: an airplane is a manmade machine, flying through air incredibly high and incredibly fast, and it's being controlled and operated by humans.
There are absolutely no guarantees in that scenario. The risks outweigh the convenience, always. But it's a risk many take.
Human error will always be a threat to our safety. Nothing is safe, fool-proof. Sometimes its as simple and circumstantial as being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It's so cliche, but yet true. And when that happens, there's nothing you can do. You can hope and pray for saftey and well being, but that's about it.
That's the way life works.
I sympathize with the victims' families. Something so horrific and hopeless is heart wrenching and difficult to digest. I would never even try to imagine what it must feel like to lose a friend or loved one in such a tragedy. This story obviously haunts me.
I will say this, though: no one is guaranteed a long, healthy, safe life.
So, in the meantime, enjoy it.
5.12.2009
Several things:
I can't remember where I read this, but I read something yesterday talking about how people need some one or some thing to blame when bad things happen. That statement is incredibly accurate. Take for instance the Buffalo plane crash: the news media is trying to dish up scoop about the pilot being a "slow learner" and that it's all his fault. The crash was an accident. Not every flight emergency can be averted. Don't forsake this man's name and family by making him the bad guy. Sometimes, bad things happen. And we have to move on.
In other news, oops I did it again. OD'd on Red Vines. I feel sick now. Plus, due to my lack of good judgement, I now have to run after work because I willingly just consumed over 500 calories GD MF'er SOB. I hate this part right here.
UGH. I also hate when I lose focus like that.
John you got any of that Gatorade Focus left? I need a few swigs.
I can't remember where I read this, but I read something yesterday talking about how people need some one or some thing to blame when bad things happen. That statement is incredibly accurate. Take for instance the Buffalo plane crash: the news media is trying to dish up scoop about the pilot being a "slow learner" and that it's all his fault. The crash was an accident. Not every flight emergency can be averted. Don't forsake this man's name and family by making him the bad guy. Sometimes, bad things happen. And we have to move on.
In other news, oops I did it again. OD'd on Red Vines. I feel sick now. Plus, due to my lack of good judgement, I now have to run after work because I willingly just consumed over 500 calories GD MF'er SOB. I hate this part right here.
UGH. I also hate when I lose focus like that.
John you got any of that Gatorade Focus left? I need a few swigs.
5.11.2009
stay away from me
the bum that asks god to bless me, then asks for money, then yells when he gets none
the girl on the bus, talking on her cell phone, 3 shopping bags about her body and a huge purse she's completely unaware of
the velour sweat suit dog lady whose yorkie looks sickly, old, and overprotected its whole, long life
the foreign-speaking maintenance man whose intentions are questionable, as are the last three words he said about my bathroom sink
the people with earbuds who are oblivious to every thing outside of their ipod
the guys at the gym that check out their side profile at every passing mirror
the girls at the gym that bounce from each piece of gym equipment in 3 second intervals, you were using this? i thought you were using that? oh, you were using both
the american apparel on walton and rush that consistently smells like a barn, i.e. urine-soaked hay
the geriatrics that grow meaner as they grow older, thank god my grandmas are the kind that grow sweeter
the joggers that stop for a red light then jog in place while they wait, i should probably get out of your way
the person that just asked me how i was doing as he quickly walked past me, i'm fine, not that you heard me say that though
the news reporter that gets overly giddy when talking to the weatherman, click, hey weather.com
the song the climb by miley cyrus, i can't, i won't, i might like you...oops
the peeps at the apple store that act infinitely cooler than me and are ultimately smarter than me, or are they
the fans of the current american idol season
the girls that have generic conversations with other girls, using this exact phrase "wow, that's awesome, good for you" not a word of that was sincere you social robot
the other social robots i.e. anyone i refer to as a friend of a friend i.e. oh hi, yeah i know your name, we've met before, numerous times actually, mine's ryan though, no...ryan, with an r
everyone else, you're fine
for now
the bum that asks god to bless me, then asks for money, then yells when he gets none
the girl on the bus, talking on her cell phone, 3 shopping bags about her body and a huge purse she's completely unaware of
the velour sweat suit dog lady whose yorkie looks sickly, old, and overprotected its whole, long life
the foreign-speaking maintenance man whose intentions are questionable, as are the last three words he said about my bathroom sink
the people with earbuds who are oblivious to every thing outside of their ipod
the guys at the gym that check out their side profile at every passing mirror
the girls at the gym that bounce from each piece of gym equipment in 3 second intervals, you were using this? i thought you were using that? oh, you were using both
the american apparel on walton and rush that consistently smells like a barn, i.e. urine-soaked hay
the geriatrics that grow meaner as they grow older, thank god my grandmas are the kind that grow sweeter
the joggers that stop for a red light then jog in place while they wait, i should probably get out of your way
the person that just asked me how i was doing as he quickly walked past me, i'm fine, not that you heard me say that though
the news reporter that gets overly giddy when talking to the weatherman, click, hey weather.com
the song the climb by miley cyrus, i can't, i won't, i might like you...oops
the peeps at the apple store that act infinitely cooler than me and are ultimately smarter than me, or are they
the fans of the current american idol season
the girls that have generic conversations with other girls, using this exact phrase "wow, that's awesome, good for you" not a word of that was sincere you social robot
the other social robots i.e. anyone i refer to as a friend of a friend i.e. oh hi, yeah i know your name, we've met before, numerous times actually, mine's ryan though, no...ryan, with an r
everyone else, you're fine
for now
5.08.2009
5.07.2009
Reasons Why I Dislike Facebook:
1. It's generally creepy.
2. People get real uncomfortable when you reference Facebook in human-to-human conversation.
3. Endless pictures are posted with no meaning whatsoever. It's especially interesting when people take pictures of the inside of their home or while at the zoo.
4. Tagged photos--unless, by some random act of God, you actually look decent in the tagged pic, rather than just the person posting it. That almost never happens though.
5. Status updates: as if we need to know that you're headed to class or bored at work. Really? No. We don't.
6. "Likes this" thumbs up. Very Michelle Tanner you got it, dude reminiscent.
7. Poking, the most non-useful feature currently available to mankind. If someone poked me in real life I'd ask them what the eff their problem was. Quit it.
8. Wall posts: "OMG hi! My phone died. That's why I haven't called you back in a week. I miss you, let's do something sometime!" Um, your phone didn't die, your social skills died hence why you would regard a wall post as an appropriate form of communication.
9. People who quote themselves under the Quotes section.
10. Recent surge of ranking lists, tagging your friends on posters with cartoon characters of different shapes, sizes, and perspectives, and "Fan of" everything. You're a fan of sleeping? Cool, me too. Who cares? No one.
11. Endless emails/notifications when people comment on the same thing you commented on as well as those who "reply to thread" on group emails. Somebody find me something sharp, stat.
12. "Lost my cellphone/Need your number" events.
13. The sheer amount of time and energy a large portion of the world spends on Facebook. If only we had a WorldHungerBook or AIDSBook or TheEconomyBook, the world would be a much better place.
14. Stalking is now universally acceptable via Facebook Feeds.
15. People who assume posting (and tagging) photos taken during high school years (or earlier) is a form of heartwarming nostalgia. It isn't. It's harrassment and, most times, defamation.
16. Friend requests from anonymous strangers. BAD IDEA, almost always.
17. The cruciality of one's "relationship" status. How barf-tastic is it when you read "X is in a relationship with O" ?? It's like a Page Six headline minus the whole celebrity aspect.
18. The user interface of Facebook is becoming more and more like putting together a Dalmation jigsaw puzzle.
19. Similarly, posting a YouTube video on someone's wall is much harder than one would expect.
20. Profile picture cropping: it's hilarious to see the lengths people go to to crop themselves out of a group picture. It's pretty desperate. I mean, do you look THAT good in this one ensembled-photo op or do you generally take bad pictures and have nothing else to work with?
21. Facebook notes. What is the point? No one will take anything you say seriously if it's via a Facebook note.
22. Facebook has practically eliminated the chance for most users to ever become President. You know there's something, somewhere, that you're not proud of...on Facebook.
23. The illusion of friends. In real life, I have about 15 people I'd call actual friends. On Facebook, I have 160 friends, which has been slimmed down from a previous tally of 235. Facebook is a social fantasy land.
24. Have people finally stopped buying gifts? I mean, it is/was the equivolent of putting a dollar bill through a paper shredder, then placing the money shreds in a hamster cage for your hamster to shit, pee, and sleep on.
25. It's very possible that your Mom has a Facebook profile. Need I say more?
Nope.
Reasons Why I Like Facebook
1. If you didn't have a Facebook profile, I'd question the content of your character as well as assume you were a psychotic, pervert serial killer whose anonyminity is crucial to fulfilling a mission of hiding in someone's closet while they get ready for bed then pouncing on them the very second their eyes close, then of course stabbing them repeatedly until their neighbors report suspicious sounds coming from next door.
Simply put, if you don't have a Facebook profile...something's wrong with you.
1. It's generally creepy.
2. People get real uncomfortable when you reference Facebook in human-to-human conversation.
3. Endless pictures are posted with no meaning whatsoever. It's especially interesting when people take pictures of the inside of their home or while at the zoo.
4. Tagged photos--unless, by some random act of God, you actually look decent in the tagged pic, rather than just the person posting it. That almost never happens though.
5. Status updates: as if we need to know that you're headed to class or bored at work. Really? No. We don't.
6. "Likes this" thumbs up. Very Michelle Tanner you got it, dude reminiscent.
7. Poking, the most non-useful feature currently available to mankind. If someone poked me in real life I'd ask them what the eff their problem was. Quit it.
8. Wall posts: "OMG hi! My phone died. That's why I haven't called you back in a week. I miss you, let's do something sometime!" Um, your phone didn't die, your social skills died hence why you would regard a wall post as an appropriate form of communication.
9. People who quote themselves under the Quotes section.
10. Recent surge of ranking lists, tagging your friends on posters with cartoon characters of different shapes, sizes, and perspectives, and "Fan of" everything. You're a fan of sleeping? Cool, me too. Who cares? No one.
11. Endless emails/notifications when people comment on the same thing you commented on as well as those who "reply to thread" on group emails. Somebody find me something sharp, stat.
12. "Lost my cellphone/Need your number" events.
13. The sheer amount of time and energy a large portion of the world spends on Facebook. If only we had a WorldHungerBook or AIDSBook or TheEconomyBook, the world would be a much better place.
14. Stalking is now universally acceptable via Facebook Feeds.
15. People who assume posting (and tagging) photos taken during high school years (or earlier) is a form of heartwarming nostalgia. It isn't. It's harrassment and, most times, defamation.
16. Friend requests from anonymous strangers. BAD IDEA, almost always.
17. The cruciality of one's "relationship" status. How barf-tastic is it when you read "X is in a relationship with O" ?? It's like a Page Six headline minus the whole celebrity aspect.
18. The user interface of Facebook is becoming more and more like putting together a Dalmation jigsaw puzzle.
19. Similarly, posting a YouTube video on someone's wall is much harder than one would expect.
20. Profile picture cropping: it's hilarious to see the lengths people go to to crop themselves out of a group picture. It's pretty desperate. I mean, do you look THAT good in this one ensembled-photo op or do you generally take bad pictures and have nothing else to work with?
21. Facebook notes. What is the point? No one will take anything you say seriously if it's via a Facebook note.
22. Facebook has practically eliminated the chance for most users to ever become President. You know there's something, somewhere, that you're not proud of...on Facebook.
23. The illusion of friends. In real life, I have about 15 people I'd call actual friends. On Facebook, I have 160 friends, which has been slimmed down from a previous tally of 235. Facebook is a social fantasy land.
24. Have people finally stopped buying gifts? I mean, it is/was the equivolent of putting a dollar bill through a paper shredder, then placing the money shreds in a hamster cage for your hamster to shit, pee, and sleep on.
25. It's very possible that your Mom has a Facebook profile. Need I say more?
Nope.
Reasons Why I Like Facebook
1. If you didn't have a Facebook profile, I'd question the content of your character as well as assume you were a psychotic, pervert serial killer whose anonyminity is crucial to fulfilling a mission of hiding in someone's closet while they get ready for bed then pouncing on them the very second their eyes close, then of course stabbing them repeatedly until their neighbors report suspicious sounds coming from next door.
Simply put, if you don't have a Facebook profile...something's wrong with you.
5.05.2009
Them, there snakes aren't the friendly-type?
Rattlesnakes Bite 4 Over Weekend
UPDATED: 9:17 am MST May 5, 2009
PHOENIX -- Banner Poison Control Center treated four patients this past weekend for rattlesnake bites. There have been eight victims in the past week.
Experts said that means this is the time to take precautions; rattlesnakes are particularly active when daytime temperatures remain above 82 degrees Fahrenheit.
Patrick Hotchkiss of Quartzsite, Ariz., was one of the victims. He had just stepped off his porch Sunday afternoon when he was struck.
"I felt two sharp things, sort of akin to piece of broken glass that snaps off," said Patrick Hotchkiss, from his hospital bed at Banner Good Samaritan Hospital.
Hotchkiss said this particular rattlesnake was about 2-and-a-half feet long and did not rattle prior to striking.
"I should've been more vigilant. Usually I am," said Hotchkiss.
Doctors said one man was bitten on the hand after trying to pet a rattlesnake. They said the man had been drinking prior to the incident.
“We've seen several people who've tried petting a rattlesnake, and even on occasion people trying to kiss one. Any of those things usually result in the patient getting bitten," said Dr. Michael Levine, a toxicologist at Banner Poison Control Center.
Rattlesnakes Bite 4 Over Weekend
UPDATED: 9:17 am MST May 5, 2009
PHOENIX -- Banner Poison Control Center treated four patients this past weekend for rattlesnake bites. There have been eight victims in the past week.
Experts said that means this is the time to take precautions; rattlesnakes are particularly active when daytime temperatures remain above 82 degrees Fahrenheit.
Patrick Hotchkiss of Quartzsite, Ariz., was one of the victims. He had just stepped off his porch Sunday afternoon when he was struck.
"I felt two sharp things, sort of akin to piece of broken glass that snaps off," said Patrick Hotchkiss, from his hospital bed at Banner Good Samaritan Hospital.
Hotchkiss said this particular rattlesnake was about 2-and-a-half feet long and did not rattle prior to striking.
"I should've been more vigilant. Usually I am," said Hotchkiss.
Doctors said one man was bitten on the hand after trying to pet a rattlesnake. They said the man had been drinking prior to the incident.
“We've seen several people who've tried petting a rattlesnake, and even on occasion people trying to kiss one. Any of those things usually result in the patient getting bitten," said Dr. Michael Levine, a toxicologist at Banner Poison Control Center.
it's like i want to wake up
and have nothing be the same
as it was
rather how it is in my head
how it's supposed to be
laid out
in front of me
that moment
that feeling
intertwined from ideal to reality
i pictured it
the weather was dark
but i felt safe
at peace
my priorites meant something
other than surviving.
i always see that bed
that headboard
and those white sheets
i'm there
and as i look out the window
nothing stops me
from getting up
the world at my disposal
to see
to live.
now do it.
and have nothing be the same
as it was
rather how it is in my head
how it's supposed to be
laid out
in front of me
that moment
that feeling
intertwined from ideal to reality
i pictured it
the weather was dark
but i felt safe
at peace
my priorites meant something
other than surviving.
i always see that bed
that headboard
and those white sheets
i'm there
and as i look out the window
nothing stops me
from getting up
the world at my disposal
to see
to live.
now do it.
5.04.2009
the bible of ryansumner, cont'd:
51. When wearing flip flops, make sure your feet are socially presentable. If you have weird toes, toenails, whatever else, make sure to figure it out before presenting them to the world.
52. You can never go wrong with a fitted T, a great pair of denim, nikes, and a pair of aviators. 100% classic and always sex-appealing.
53. Peanut butter: eat in moderation. You know how you are.
54. Quit when you’re ahead.
55. There’s a fine line separating a man bag from a gay purse. No Puma bags. No tiny back packs. No Luis, D&G, Burberry or anything else with a pattern. All of these are over-the-top and scream pansy. It’s all in the strap, the bag itself, and how it hangs about your body. Choose wisely.
56. Skinny jeans – this has yet to be decided. I’m almost positive I don’t like the way I look in them but I really haven’t given them a fair chance yet. I’ll stamp TBD on this until further review. Just be careful.
57. Hipster is an acquired taste and posers can certainly be spotted. Easily. There’s a middle ground somewhere and I experiment with it often. No, you won’t catch me on a 10 speed though.
58. Speaking of, take extreme caution when shopping at Diesel. The jeans – all day. But shirts, t-shirts, and accessories? Probably not. And the underwear? Never.
59. Resist fountain pop at all costs. Yes, it sounds like an amazing thing. So delicious and refreshing. BUT, your teeth are white, your weight is good, and your personality is consistent. Therefore pop will do you no favors. Water with lemon, all the way.
60. I just figured this out, the less you do with your hair…the better. A no-fuss look is SO much better than douchebag hair; i.e. see Adam Lambert, Zac Efron, or 85% of Minibar patrons.
61. Paper towels should never be considered napkins or Kleenex. They have a pre-determined function: spills.
62. Six inches is plenty. A footlong is too much. That’s all I have to say about that.
63. Use caution at the iTunes store. The 25 second preview is sometimes not enough to make a rational decision. Make sure you LOVE the song before you buy it. We’re in a recession after all.
64. Also, bands like All American Rejects, Fall Out Boy and similar are very tricky. Their songs are good at first…until you hear it a couple more times then decide you’re over it already, fading into oblivion and taking up space in your iTunes library. Annoying.
65. The less keys the better. I have 7 and that’s way too much.
66. Key rings should have ONE object to hold on to. And it should be simple. Beer openers, LipSmackers, pieces of plastic with "funny" sayings on them, and similar are never options. Ever. We all know that one girl in high school that had one of those horrifyingly endless key rings filled to the max with objects you could by at Spencer’s Gifts or any souvenir shop. Sick. Never be her.
67. Interior design, pizza, wardrobe, and hair product: less is more. Do not OD.
68. Don’t forget to update your Twitter, and never leave posted an @ reply. That’s like walking into the middle of someone else’s conversation. Completely uninteresting and awkward.
69. Remain interesting at all times. If you feel even a glimmer of drab approaching, something’s wrong. Do something creative immediately.
70. Do not buy something at Goodwill or Brown Elephant if it’s even slightly overpriced. It was donated to them. Those effers at the BE sometimes put ridiculous prices on absolute junk. It is not a deal by any means. Screw them. I don’t care where the money supposedly goes. I’m not paying $60 for that old console table, especially considering the drawer on the right doesn’t even shut all the way without a fight.
71. Confidence and ego are two separate things. Always be confident. Walk with your head upright. Face the world. But reveal your ego and its over. So unattractive.
72. Drugs are bad. Make sure to put it out there that you do not do them. Ever.
73. Keep your YouTube Vlog under 5 minutes.
74. Your phone and your keys should be kept in separate pockets. Scratches make you really upset.
75. Generic pens also make you really upset. You’re also really bad at using highlighters. Avoid both.
51. When wearing flip flops, make sure your feet are socially presentable. If you have weird toes, toenails, whatever else, make sure to figure it out before presenting them to the world.
52. You can never go wrong with a fitted T, a great pair of denim, nikes, and a pair of aviators. 100% classic and always sex-appealing.
53. Peanut butter: eat in moderation. You know how you are.
54. Quit when you’re ahead.
55. There’s a fine line separating a man bag from a gay purse. No Puma bags. No tiny back packs. No Luis, D&G, Burberry or anything else with a pattern. All of these are over-the-top and scream pansy. It’s all in the strap, the bag itself, and how it hangs about your body. Choose wisely.
56. Skinny jeans – this has yet to be decided. I’m almost positive I don’t like the way I look in them but I really haven’t given them a fair chance yet. I’ll stamp TBD on this until further review. Just be careful.
57. Hipster is an acquired taste and posers can certainly be spotted. Easily. There’s a middle ground somewhere and I experiment with it often. No, you won’t catch me on a 10 speed though.
58. Speaking of, take extreme caution when shopping at Diesel. The jeans – all day. But shirts, t-shirts, and accessories? Probably not. And the underwear? Never.
59. Resist fountain pop at all costs. Yes, it sounds like an amazing thing. So delicious and refreshing. BUT, your teeth are white, your weight is good, and your personality is consistent. Therefore pop will do you no favors. Water with lemon, all the way.
60. I just figured this out, the less you do with your hair…the better. A no-fuss look is SO much better than douchebag hair; i.e. see Adam Lambert, Zac Efron, or 85% of Minibar patrons.
61. Paper towels should never be considered napkins or Kleenex. They have a pre-determined function: spills.
62. Six inches is plenty. A footlong is too much. That’s all I have to say about that.
63. Use caution at the iTunes store. The 25 second preview is sometimes not enough to make a rational decision. Make sure you LOVE the song before you buy it. We’re in a recession after all.
64. Also, bands like All American Rejects, Fall Out Boy and similar are very tricky. Their songs are good at first…until you hear it a couple more times then decide you’re over it already, fading into oblivion and taking up space in your iTunes library. Annoying.
65. The less keys the better. I have 7 and that’s way too much.
66. Key rings should have ONE object to hold on to. And it should be simple. Beer openers, LipSmackers, pieces of plastic with "funny" sayings on them, and similar are never options. Ever. We all know that one girl in high school that had one of those horrifyingly endless key rings filled to the max with objects you could by at Spencer’s Gifts or any souvenir shop. Sick. Never be her.
67. Interior design, pizza, wardrobe, and hair product: less is more. Do not OD.
68. Don’t forget to update your Twitter, and never leave posted an @ reply. That’s like walking into the middle of someone else’s conversation. Completely uninteresting and awkward.
69. Remain interesting at all times. If you feel even a glimmer of drab approaching, something’s wrong. Do something creative immediately.
70. Do not buy something at Goodwill or Brown Elephant if it’s even slightly overpriced. It was donated to them. Those effers at the BE sometimes put ridiculous prices on absolute junk. It is not a deal by any means. Screw them. I don’t care where the money supposedly goes. I’m not paying $60 for that old console table, especially considering the drawer on the right doesn’t even shut all the way without a fight.
71. Confidence and ego are two separate things. Always be confident. Walk with your head upright. Face the world. But reveal your ego and its over. So unattractive.
72. Drugs are bad. Make sure to put it out there that you do not do them. Ever.
73. Keep your YouTube Vlog under 5 minutes.
74. Your phone and your keys should be kept in separate pockets. Scratches make you really upset.
75. Generic pens also make you really upset. You’re also really bad at using highlighters. Avoid both.
I found this amusing on an early Monday morning. So, some freakshow with gross hair jumps on stage at a Connecticut Britney Spears concert during the Womanizer finale...um, upon seeing the guy, Brit does something really weird, something very similar to that of a stroke. Insta-stroke. I watched it a million times and I, for the life of me, cannot figure out what she was doing/saying/what was happening in general. He definitely surprised her. It didn't last long as her backup dancers saved the day. But still. WTF just happened? And...is it just me or does the concert look REALLY stupid? Brit doesn't sing and she barely even dances? She just bops around, but barely even bopping. More like jiggling. C'mon.
Anyway, the stroke happens around the 3 minute mark:
Anyway, the stroke happens around the 3 minute mark:
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