5 Things You Probably Didn't Know about Ryan Sumner

1) I always set my alarm clock so that the minute mark ends in 03, 17, 33, or 47. Mon-Friday I wake up at 7:33 am...but if I wanted to get up earlier, I'd set it to 7:03. Or perhaps 6:33, but if I wanted to sleep in a little later than normal I'd set my alarm to 7:47...but never :43 because then I would probably be tempted to sleep in until :45 which would turn into 8:00. To me it just makes sense, because if I woke up at a :00 or a :15 or a :30 or a :45...I'd be like uhhhh, can I please sleep for like 5 more minutes? And then a vicious cycle would occur of sleeping/snooze, sleeping/snooze and before you know it I'd oversleep and be late. But with the extra few minutes on the end of every normal minute mark...I feel like I already got my extra couple of Z's therefore it's time to get up. Like I said, it makes perfect sense to me and has worked flawlessly for many, many years.

2) I think that stale popcorn (like popped yesterday or even a week ago) is delicious. I don't really care for freshly popped corn.

3) My signature alcoholic beverage is Bacardi Limon and water with a lemon twist for pizazz. And if that's not available, beer will do. No shots. (So I say.)

4) I've never, ever been remotely close to feeling like I've loved a significant other of mine. I thought I did once but that turned out to be a big trick. Therefore it doesn't count.

5) I purposely listened to the "Thong Song" today and I'm not making any apologies for having done so.

The End.

Sherri Shepherd is by and large the most hypocritical, uninformed, and grotesque human being on daytime TV that I've seen in a long time.

Just wanted to throw that out there.

Now, I can admit to actually liking The View at one point in my life but, when I get to chance to catch up, I've increasingly become more and more repulsed by her holier than thou approach to life in the 21st century.

It's insane.
She's insane.

And it's disgusting.
She's disgusting.

Sherri's education level was explained WAY back on her first couple of appearances as a newbie host when she oh-so-eloquently stated (on broadcast TV, mind you) that she didn't know if the Earth was round or flat...because the answer, as we know it today and quite some time in the past, didn't mesh with what the Bible stated.

Are you serious?

Yes, she was.

She later retracted her stupidity because Barbara gave her the airtime to do so.

But does anyone know the past of Sherri? Her story? Woah, it's dark, it's twisted and it's very un-Christian, yet, she sits on the couch of The View, perky as ever, while toxically spewing complete and utter ignorance and segregation to the audience across the nation.

But everything she says and stands for (today) is in the name of her Christian values and upbringing.

Sometimes I feel like Christianity gets a really bad name, some of which it deserves since people still preach it's ancient philosophies in a modern and educated civilization. But Sherri Shepherd is like the spokeswoman for all that is ugly and hypocritical in the Christian realm.

All in all, she's enough to make me ill (and very sad) and from here out not watch The View. I don't know if that is a real loss or not, but it is what it is.

My suggestion to you: Don't watch The View if you currently do so. Get a real perspective. Read the news. Don't let ignorance spread. Don't let Sherri Shepherd spread. Her ugliness is already everywhere, she's not alone. It's already affected most of this country, although more and more are breaking free from it.

(Mike Huckabee's appearance on The View didn't help either. While the ladies licked his balls in adoration, he spewed "They should have certain civil rights, like employment...")

Aw, thanks!

Sad day in the Sumner world. My "Grandpa" died peacefully in his sleep this morning at the age of 92. He lived a long, wonderful life. I refer to him as my "Grandpa" only because he wasn't my actual Grandpa...although he sort of was. It's confusing to me, still. Anyway, I always called him by his first name, as did all of my immediate family members:

FD.

Short for Floyd. He was always FD.

Long story, but, my father's actual father died before my sister and I were born. But for my two older brothers, he was their original Grandpa. Kelly and I obviously never knew him, but as time passed my Mamaw (Grandma) started dating FD after Kelly and I were born. They eventually married however, for whatever reason, it never caught on that we should refer to FD as our new Grandpa. Especially since my older brother's already experienced their real Grandpa. So it was weird. FD was FD. He wasn't anyone's stepfather, he wasn't called our Grandpa, and he never asked to be labeled as such either. FD was FD.

That's just the way it was. And it was perfect.

FD was a pretty great catch for my Mamaw. He was soft-hearted, soft-spoken, sweet, caring, gentle, always happy to see you kind of guy, who had a loveable southern accent and a fondness for gardening. He always had fresh, homegrown tomatoes sliced and ready whenever my family would come to visit for vacation or holidays. He also liked to have his first beer starting at noon, god love him. But he poured it into a glass, like the classy man that he was. He was also pretty adamant about serving fresh ham. He was big on getting ham from the deli before we arrived for a visit, and then made sure to tell us that there was thin-sliced, Virginia ham in the fridge at all times. Afterall, he got it especially for us. Anything that my siblings and I did made him laugh, too. He took such interest in us, I can just picture his response to seeing us or listening to us talk. He was such a gentle soul.

I'll never forget the way he said my name either..."Ryne"...and my sister "Kellay."

While he's gone, these memories are forever.

Rest in peace, Grandpa.

It is with great elation to inform you that I am typing this blog from the comfort of my bed at 10:54 am. Yes, that's right...no work today.

Sweetness.

It's a dull, grey Friday morning, one which I awoke to only because my eyes decided to open and not because the alarm on my iphone was strumming a guitar in an attempt to wake me up.

I woke up just because. Such a nice, wonderful way to start the day. Actually, I don't know that I'm going to start a day. I might just continue this current pace of nothingness.

Weird--as I'm typing this blog, I have my iTunes playing in the background, and John Legend's "Good Morning" came on.

Good Moooorning. Good Mooooorning, Love. Down load it.

Ugh. I might just stay here forever. The temp in my room is just right. Not warm..not cold...but a nice, cool sleeping temperature.

My pillows stayed in place during the night, too. Throughout the week, somehow, all four pillows have jumped ship at some point in the night. I've been waking up with a sore neck since the mattress has to fill in during the pillows' PTO. But this morning, my favorite pillow (don't tell the others) was securely and comfortably under my head. Nice.

Oh sweet...Tony Rich Project's "Nobody Knows It But Me" just came on. I love this song, and I love it even more when I can belt it without anyone listening. I can just belt, belt, and belt some more. Could today get any better?

Probably not, so I'm just going to lie here and revel in the moment that is a perfect morning.

Good morning, and good night.

I was checking MSNBC today to see what was happening in the world and, low and behold, I stumbled upon this absolutely horrifying and gasp-evoking news headline:

Armadillos May Be Moving to Midwest

When I first read it, I thought, okay Ryan, no need to panic. Surely the Armadillos are some new basketball team or obscure, southwestern retail chain.

...say what?

THEY'RE THE ACTUAL ANIMAL!?! COMING HERE????!!!!

Oh snap. I hate armadillos. I've never actually seen one, but I've definitely seen them on TV and they are seriously sick. And I feel like I read somewhere that they're nocturnal and only come out of hiding at night to eat (feast), like opossums. I mean, opossums freak me out enough as it is because they're crazy looking and have freakishly sharp, razorblade teeth/fangs that could bite through your arm/leg with one chomp. But now I have to worry about armadillos?

You know what my beef is with them, right? Armadillos have that weirdo alien exterior and, if you've been reading my blog faithfully, you know how scared I am of aliens.

And let's not forget...armadillos scurry as a form of transportation. I don't mind animals that run or swim, but scurry? That's the worst kind. I've seen them scurry on TV, and boy do those little legs move. If one came after me, I wouldn't even have a chance to scream, let alone run before they caught up to me and did stuff.

And they're migrating north? Why? Around here? Whaaaaat? Scientists believe it's due to global warming because, apparently, it's too hot in the southwest and therefore are in search of a milder climate. I'm going to assume it's entirely too cold during the winter months for them to come as far north as Chicago (that lake breeze is a bitch in the winter!)...but still, the shrinking proximity greatly threatens my non-armadillo-loving lifestyle.

They better stay out of my soft soil!

And I know I just wrote like 700 blogs about not discriminating against those who are different and all...but, really, this struck me completely off-guard and it's going to take awhile for me to adjust and perhaps, eventually, learn more about this unfamiliar mammal whose intentions I'm not fully trusting of just yet.

Yes, yes, acceptance, equality, etc.

It'll happen, just give me a second...

One more thing...and I just thought of this, wouldn't it be great if equality wasn't something we had to vote for, but rather common sense?

Wouldn't it be great if Americans looked at their own freedoms and happiness and then thought, hey, who am I, as a free individual, to impose my religious (or otherwise) beliefs on other free individuals?

Wouldn't it be great if people stopped looking into the lives of strangers to determine/judge/denounce their lifestyles, and instead concentrated on their own? What's good for the goose isn't always good for the gander. The US is a big, unique, melting pot of a gander. Not one goose is like another. Somebody smart once said:

"…whence came all these people? They are a mixture of English, Scotch, Irish, French, Dutch, Germans, and Swedes... What, then, is the American, this new man? He is neither a European nor the descendant of a European; hence that strange mixture of blood, which you will find in no other country. I could point out to you a family whose grandfather was an Englishman, whose wife was Dutch, whose son married a French woman, and whose present four sons have now four wives of different nations. He is an American, who, leaving behind him all his ancient prejudices and manners, receives new ones from the new mode of life he has embraced, the new government he obeys, and the new rank he holds. . . . The Americans were once scattered all over Europe; here they are incorporated into one of the finest systems of population which has ever appeared." − J. Hector St. John de Crevecoeur, Letters from an American Farmer.

Now here are some different, less smart quotes by supporters and leaders of Proposition 8, "People believe in the institution of marriage," said Frank Schubert, co-manager of the Yes on 8 campaign. "It's one institution that crosses ethnic divides, that crosses partisan divides. ... People have stood up because they care about marriage and they care a great deal."

I would go as far as to say that the 18,000 gay men and women that were married in California more than likely cared about marriage "a great deal" too. Another said,

"This is a great day for marriage. The people of California stood up for traditional marriage and reclaimed this great institution," said Ron Prentice, chairman of ProtectMarriage.com — Yes on 8. "We are gratified that voters chose to protect traditional marriage and to enshrine its importance in the state constitution. We trust that this decision will be respected by all Californians."

Wouldn't it be great if the institution of marriage crossed not only a partisan divide, or an ethnic divide, but also a sexual orientation divide? After all, you can't discriminate against a person interviewing for a job based on their sexual orientation, but for some insane reason, the US (and it's voters) can discriminate against gays and lesbians entirely based on their sexual orientation? Really?

And "Yay" for you Frank Shcubert and Ron Prentice, for leading the way and snatching marriage away from them as if you, heterosexual, white males (typical) living in the year 2008, somehow own the institution of marriage. Nice job, way.to.go.

Wouldn't it be great if Ron Prentice stopped using the word "traditional?" What is traditional marriage? There's no such thing. If there was, why on Earth could you go through a drive-through chapel in Las Vegas to get married? Thousands of people do it every year. Some people have the craziest traditions. Also, on that note, I once heard of a traditional marriage that lasted for "52 hours." I think we all know what that was about. But back to the earlier quote,

"He is an American, who, leaving behind him all his ancient prejudices and manners, receives new ones from the new mode of life he has embraced, the new government he obeys, and the new rank he holds..."

Wouldn't it be great if we, too, left our ancient prejudices and manners (i.e. Bible-toting, religious zealots) behind? The bible was written a long time ago. It doesn't reflect a modern culture in any way. You can't denounce or choose the lifestyles of U.S. citizens based upon your religious beliefs. Religion is not a law. Marriage is not exclusive to religion. It's for everybody. But, in respect, gay marriage doesn't break a single commandment out of the ten we (some of us) live by. Also, we now have an interracial President who, for some people, thought never could exist since slavery wasn't that long ago. Yet at the very same time, a dominating group of African American and Latino Proposition 8 supporters have the audacity to say/discriminate that gays and lesbians are undeserving of the same constitutional rights given to every American citizen? What??!! How?! WHY?!

Wouldn't it be great if homophobia and discrimination based on sexual orientation was given a fraction of the attention, denunciation, and elimination that racism, sexism, or religious freedom is given?

Put it under a microscope: discrimination is the unfair treatment of one person or a group because of prejudice.

If you still can't see that banning gay marriage is absolute discrimination in its simplest form...and that it's insanely wrong...if you still can't see that, you must be blind and in a vegetable state, which is the only reason you can't do anything about it to reverse it. Or you're homophobic and you don't want anything to be done about it. You live in ignorance and are OK with that.

It's one or the other. You either choose to discriminate, or you don't.

I don't.

This image is enough to make me sick. The caption of the LA Times reads this:

Bob Knoke, of Mission Viejo, Amanda Stanfield, of Monrovia, Jim Domen, of Yorba Linda, and J.D. Gaddis, of Yorba Linda, celebrate returns for Proposition 8 at an Irvine hotel.

What are they so happy about? What did they accomplish? Gay married couples lost their right to be legally protected as a family. That's something you cheer? That's a victory? That's a reason to party?

These people should start a clan, and their future parties should involve robes, fires, and chants of some sort. It's all too similar.

Remember their names and faces. They need more help than anyone.

Simply put: they are exactly what this nation should not be.

Some thoughts on my mind:

-January 20th, 2009 will be a great day, and considering how the world stands at this very moment (with Bush still in control and a long, dark 8 years overwhelmingly revealing the results of a failed presidency), I can only be excited to see what the future holds.
-Let's not forget our own problems, though. It was was the American people who voted Bush into office the first time. It was the American people who voted Bush into office a second time. We, the people, are also to blame. It's easy to point the finger at only Bush, but on some level, we have to point that finger at ourselves. Let's persist though. We started something really, really good last night. Let's run with it.
-We need to stop and remember that last night's victory wasn't about the fact that we, for the first time in history, have an interracial President. While it's amazing to reflect on how far America/ans have come, and the adversity we've overcome since the days of slavery and segregation, let's not forget something very important. Barack isn't in office because he's black. I didn't vote for him because he's black, and I hope you didn't either. That's the same as voting for a white candidate only because he or she is white. That's ignorant. Barack is in office because he stands for change, change we desperately need and deserve. Today, and for the next four years, are days to celebrate and witness Barack Obama as President, and champion him as a leader and advocate for changing this troubled nation.
-Proposition 8 passed. This is a sad day for California, and for the United States. We elected an interracial President, yet discrimination and segregation still exists for gays and lesbians. Very sad. What's sadder is that black voters (especially black female voters) had an astoundingly high turnout in support of Prop 8. Interesting, isn't it? In my opinion, male or female, black or white or other, straight or gay...none are choices we made coming into this world. We didn't fill out a form in the womb denoting our preferences. We are what we are. We cannot be discriminated against simply by what we are. We are human. We are citizens. We are equal. But not so fast. What happened last night changed that. If you're homosexual, you're somehow different. Your needs and hopes for family, marriage, and equality are not deserving. You're second class. You are not one of "us"...whatever that is. While white and black families share a water fountain, gay and lesbian families have their own to drink from. This national step forward has taken a step back. Don't you think there should be less hypocrisy in this nation, and more, much much more equality? Shame on you, all of you who voted in support of discrimination.
-In Arkansas, a ballot was passed that, in order to adopt or foster children, you must be legally married. I'm not sure how much adoption or fostering is going on in Arkansas, but, is it just me that believes the only real losers in this situation are the kids? While the argument is usually politicked as supporting the abandoned children produced in unloving or unfit homes (even the homes of Christian married couples), it's actually a contradiction. The children lose, and they lose big. Because in this instance, the ballot strokes the egos of married couples, it doesn't support the affected children. Because, after all, teenage girls, or oopsy-I-made-a-big-mistake women or whatever the circumstance may be, can place babies up for adoption or place children in foster homes (aka they need better parents) at any time. It's now law that those babies can only be passed off to married couples (yep, no single people or gay couples) or, even more ridiculously, married foster parents! What a convenient world married people live in. While citizens of Arkansas can bring unwanted children into the world all day long, and for no reason at all, only married couples can take them in, or at least foster them until some other married couple comes along with the room to spare. I guess you are only deemed "fit" as a parent if you have someone in your home that has to legally help you. But for the rest of the "non-legit" citizens of Arkansas (you know, since being married is the precedent of normalcy and being considered socially acceptable and loving) even if those kids needed a home in the worst way, you unmarried or GLBT folk are stricken from providing the child(ren) a home because you could/would damage them beyond what they've already experienced. YOU MUST HAVE A MOM AND A DAD! No exclusions or provisos allowed! Those kids won't grow up healthy or normal (straight) if they have only one parent or two parents of the same sex! The world doesn't work like that, mister! At least not here in the great state of Arkansas!

I mean, that makes perfect sense, right?

...?

No, it doesn't. It's selfish, it's barbaric, and it's to the disadvantage of children needing love by someone willing to provide it. Shame on Arkansas.

This just goes to show that the world we live in is still a mess, and still evolving. Barack has a big job ahead of him. But, I voted for Barack because I truly believe he has a bigger brain, and an even bigger heart than most people in this nation. One day, hopefully sooner than later, all American citizens will experience true equality, on all levels.

But for today, most people will get to experience that. Congrats.

Yay!

Today is the day, peeps. The nation has gone stir-crazy about getting to those polls to vote! And can you blame them? You gotta get a free donut, coffee, and scoop of B&J. That's all the incentive I need, minus the coffee.

Weird--donuts and ice cream are quite possibly two of my favorite things in the world...food wise, you know.

So is the world counting on my specific vote? Why else would they lure me to the polls with such temptations?.

Very weird, if you ask me. Which you didn't. But who cares?

Not me.

I haven't voted yet, but that's because I'm at work and I had a lot of shizz to do today, including writing this blog. But I will vote for sure. At 2. Today. It's a historic day, potentially, and this is a historic post...

Well, it's a post nonetheless. But this blog is the shizz! Right?

I think so.

Are you still reading?

If so, good, because I have a story:

So last night for some weird reason, during a dream, the song "We Built This City" was playing like a broken record in my head, BUT, the part that kept repeating was something like this, "my pony plays the mamba, listenin to the radio..."

Now, I don't know if those are the actual lyrics, BUT apparently I needed to know them at that very moment, at whatever time of night it was which, I really have no idea because I didn't even look at a clock. But what's weirder is that I vaguely remember opening my laptop to try and Google the lyrics...mind you I'm SLEEPING while I'm doing this. I don't know if anything was accomplished at that moment but I do know my computer is in one piece...I didn't like drop it or anything and completely disregard the whole event.

FLASHBACK!

Back when I lived at my parents' house I made my bedroom out of a section of the basement. I cleaned the basement up, painted the walls (including the ceiling) and like, made it the coolest room known to mankind. I also had a ferret at the time named Charlette. Why I had a ferret, I have no idea, but I had one and she was the sweetest little thing ever. Anyway, so I was sleeping one night in my bed and apparently Charlette got out of her cage somehow and was playing around in my room. I was unaware of this, I was sleeping. You get the idea. Anyway, Charlette must have crawled up into my bed to like...snuggle with me? I'm not sure what her intentions were. But, it couldn't have been a worse time to do so because I specifically recall having a horrible nightmare about a spider crawling under my clothes and up to my neck. I freaked out and, in a moment of bravery, grabbed the spider and threw it across the room.

Well, that "spider" just so happened to be my beloved ferret Charlette. I didn't connect the ideas/perpetrators until I heard a "noise"...a big ka-thunk made by something that hit the wall across the room. I looked over, and sure enough, there goes Charlette running for dear life. The range of emotions I went through when I realized what I had just done went from sheer terror to utter remorse and endless guilt. If anything though, I was simply relieved to see that she was up and moving...god knows I wouldn't have been. She apparently went unhurt and unbothered by the traumatic event, thankfully...but if she would have tried to bite me every time I went to pick her up I would have understood, completely. She didn't though. She was sweet.

Now, where was I before this flashback occurred? Um...oh yeah, lyrics. OK, I'm going to stray from this blog window to a new IE window so I can Google the lyrics to the song. Be back in a flash...

Back. OK, so I was close. It's:

Marconi plays the Mamba,
Listen to the radio
Don't you remember?
We built this city,
We built this city on rock and roll!

Oh, so it's Marconi playing the mamba, not my pony. OK.

But what the bleep is a Marconi?

Back to Google, bear with me...

OK, so apparently Marconi is a guy that invented the radio or, at the very least, the radio antenna (depends on who you ask, I guess)...anyway, something around those lines. But why is he playing the mamba?

But wait, what the bleep is a mamba? Isn't that a dance?

Hold.

A mamba is a highly venomous snake. The black mamba, rather. Marconi was a freak, playing that mamba when it very well could have killed him!

But I guess that's a testament to his bravery, playing with mambas. I hope it wasn't mamba #5 though!

Oh...mambo #5. My bad.

BARACK THE VOTE!