after yesterday and this morning...i don't know if my longstanding desire to have children is a good idea anymore.
yes, i'm talking about balloon boy. i'm obviously not a parent of this child, related to the child, nor do i have any emotional attachment to him or his family. but as a hopeful, someday family man...my stomach was in knots, my mind racing, and my heart in two.
all of my life, i've wanted nothing more than to raise my own children. until now...
what happened yesterday!?!
long story short: i went through a gambit of emotion. we all know what happened, so let's just cut to the chase and talk about me for a second. for some reason, i overwhelmingly empathized with this family and falcon as if i were an integral part of the unfolding situation. first off, watching that balloon soar over colorado at what looked to be a thousand mph...i was dying inside. i was so nervous, i was sweating terribly, i felt completely sick to my stomach...i just couldn't handle it. at all. i felt as if i was on the verge of an emotional breakdown. and this wasn't even my child. my mind kept asking itself, if he indeed was inside that contraption, how horrifying would that have been for a 6 yr. old child? i'm a 27 yr old adult and had it been me up there, i would have gone ape shit bananas insane suicidal think-it-over wwjd...all of it.
i couldn't even begin to imagine it, and the fact that i did have to imagine such a scenario broke my heart into pieces because it wasn't me up there, but rather a baby. and i don't care if he's 6, 6 yr olds are incapable of supporting or thinking for themselves. he's a baby. so, when i found out that he wasn't inside that thing, whatever it was, i felt even worse because where was my baby!?!?!
ok, ryan, cool it...he's not your baby. you are one of the millions of people watching this unfold. semmer.down.now.
but i couldn't. i was so distraught i couldn't concentrate on anything else. when i arrived home that evening i was immensely relieved to hear that falcon was being an enormous brat by hiding in the attic the entire time. some even say he was taking a nap in a box. aw, that's cute. but bad! the roller coaster he put me on! i wanted to hug him and slap his behind at the same time. yes, i'm a firm believer in spanking. controlled spanking. as a teenage babysitter, i would spank other people's children for them. and you know what, those kids were raised right and are looking to be successful adults. a-thank you. save your hate, readers.
back to topic, i couldn't imagine what it would feel like to be in the position of balloon boy's parents though. especially considering the family's shenanigans aren't exactly what i would call child friendly.
but if this news story wasn't bad enough, this morning i noticed that the family was interviewed by the today show...so i of course clicked the link and was horrified to see balloon boy puking on live television. when it rains it pours apparently. first off -- i've been there. i've had many a small child either puke directly on me or puke within range of me (c'mon, i was a professional babysitter, ymca all-around-do-every-job-position employee, and lifeguard for many, many years. puke happens a lot.) it's a horrid experience no matter the setting. but, the reaction of the dad was priceless during the heave-ho. he was soo caught off guard by his son's retching that i commend him for still doing the interview without flipping shit and being like "uh, meredith, can you shut up for five seconds, my kid just barfed on me randomly, and truth be told, it's been a long 24 hours. interview over."
but, he kept his cool and there was some redeeming factor to that...even tho i still think that family is messed up. majorly. word to the wise: stop putting your children in dangerous predicaments such as, i don't know, hurricane chasing and homemade floatation devices. (!)
then, thanks cnn, i just had to stumble upon this news story to, again, put my emotions and pulse back into an unstable state.
holy eff. what is happening in this world!? am i, ryan sumner, really able to be a better parent than these people? i sure to god hope so because if not, future sumner offspring, i apologize now for any future turmoil i may put you through. i hope you survive.
bleep!
