Let me put it this way: if life were lived in the written word, I'd want to live in a pop-up book, not US Weekly. So begins my Facebook rant:
So, I just read a compelling article in the RedEye that appeased my "privacy" issues that I've been tackling as of late. I've mentioned a time or two thousand about how I'm leery of oversharing and overpopulation (as should the rest of the world) via Facebook. It's just too much information from too many people. In most cases, I don't need yours...you don't need mine.
A rehash of my issues being:
-Too many pictures I didn't personally take or post are flying around. That's a conflict of interest to me. GOD KNOWS WHO HAS ACCESS TO WHAT. Facebook is one, big ol' orgy. Everyone is sleeping with everyone, and we're all sharing the same bed. Virtually. The linking is unstoppable and I really don't want my mug and/or actions available for global perusal. I am a proud de-tagger.
-Too many people are accessing my info. Actually, let me be specific for a second--individuals that I do not talk to on a regular basis (or at all) somehow, and for some reason unbeknownst to myself, have full access to my shizz. The problem is, more than likely, these individuals probably have zero intention of ever calling me up to say hi, hows it going or proposing a trip to Panera for a cinnamon crunch bagel, sliced & toasted. So...then...what's the point? Let's be real for five seconds and call a spade a spade. You're not interested in me and I'm not interested in you...so let's just accept the reality of the situation, shall we?
-Too much of other people's personal information is clouding up my already overloaded brain. I don't need to know a lot/most of the stuff I learn via Facebook on a daily basis. OK...I admit I get all gossip girl whenever I read relationship status updates, but that's beside the point. Ultimately, I'd feel better off not having your dramz in my mind all day while I'm at work. I should probably be working...or at least pretending to work. Fair, right? I think so. After all, I'm always running into mental organization issues and I really think this is a proactive step in the right direction. Don't you? OK, good. Phew.
-Too many coworkers--we've all moved on to bigger and better, right? Its been 5+ years since I managed at Abercrombie...I don't work there anymore and hopefully you don't either. We could probably part ways and not really be affected by it, right? (Fear not: I do have some majorus importus friendus's from A&F and you specific peeps will never be banished. Just FYI.)
-Too many randoms. I'm partly to blame for that...I should have hit ignore in the first place...that is unless you're strikingly attractive. And if that's the case it's certainly not hurting anything for you to stick around. What's up? XO.
As such, today I cut about 100 people from my friends list. The people who were cut were either strangers, people I've had zero communication with over the last 5 years (even Facebook communication), friends of friends that really have no bearing on my life besides maybe a random party we met at but have yet to see each other since, people who I don't like but barely tolerate by having them as a supposed friend on Facebook, or just anyone else who, regardless if I friended you or vice versa...if we don't talk in the normal, 3d world we both supposedly live in, and we have yet to make any plans to do so, um...what's the point?
Let's not delay the inevitable.
Am I being insensitive? I really hope not. I'm just trying to be a real person in a very cyber-centric world.
Picture it, Sicily, 1932...what, A Golden Girls joke never hurt anybody. Plus, I thought we could all use a breather from reading. OK, better. Now let's resume!
Facebook friendships are flat. Non-tangible. Non-interesting. Who.really.cares?
Facebook has desensitized the word friend. A real friendship is not maintained via Facebook. I'm a very sensitive person and have come to realize that having 300+ friends on Facebook is doing absolutely nothing for me besides constructing a false sense of security.
Let's say something really bad happened to me...through no fault of their own (and I'm sure I'm guilty of this myself on many levels) how many of my Facebook friends would send me a card, show up on my doorstep, or make some other type of three dimensional effort? I'm assuming most would either A) not notice, B) not care enough to say anything, or C) leave an empathetic wall post in reference to said unfortunate incident.
I can go without that kind of sentiment. Lets get back to basics. Quality over quantity, yada yada. I think its important for us as human beings to once again qualify personal, sincere efforts that are derived from reality, not virtual reality.
And one more thing: I'm not a numbers guy. High, low...whatever. Who cares, really? I don't need my friend count to be some absurdly large number. It doesn't mean anything. And I'm not impressed by other people's Facebook friend-age either, in fact, it's almost the opposite effect. The higher the number, the more suspicious I am of you. What are you really after? Are you just that cool?
I'm certainly not. And no amount of Facebook delusion would make me any cooler nor would it make me feel any cooler. I'm perfectly OK with being uncool. Perfectly OK.
Anyway, like I said, I made some massive cuts and will probably continue to do so until I'm inclined to assume that everyone on my friends list has a reason to be there.
Disclaimer: If we were Facebook friends and you notice we aren't any longer...it's nothing personal. I swear. We're cool.
It's not you, it's me.
