Uh, what the bleep is going on? Every day it's like this. I wake up, go to work, and right around that 8:45 a.m. stretch I start to feel SICK. Morning sickness-sick: my body temperature will start to fluctuate drastically, I'll get BURNING hot...then I'll look around the office and ask is it hot in hurr or is it just me?
It's always just me.
Meanwhile my stomach feels like a volcano. I have to literally talk myself out of erupting. I realized long ago that puking is 50% physical, 50% mental. All you have to do is put mind over stomach: Ryan, you're just fine, you don't want to throw up, you hate throwing up, you're not going to throw up. Just breathe in and out, in and out, you're fine, you're strong, this will pass...breathe one, two, three, four...
By the time 10 a.m. rolls around...all has passed, I'm fine, everything is A-OK, and my internal "keep it cool" coaching can finally be shut off. My frenzied anxieties of throwing up in public have also subsided, I can once again look at my computer screen without going cross-eyed, and I can also walk throughout the office without swerving and bumping into people's desks: Oh, whoops! Sorry Patty, I know that's the 3rd time I've ran into your cube wall this morning. My bad. This floor has dips everywhere...did I ever tell you how much I adore that Chicago Cubs troll doll? So cute! Mind if I have a green M&M? I'll send you that expense report in 5.
But seriously, for an hour or so something was UP. Something was definitely up.
Could it be? It may just be.
Which is fine because I could totally use the tax write-off.