Such a cruel, cruel world. I was walking down the street today, just minding my own business as usual, bopping along to some Adele. I then passed by a 711; gave the window a quick glance on the off chance I could catch a reflection...the wind was blowing something serious and I needed to see how my hair was holding up.

In the process I noticed a window sign:

Free Donuts!


YES! OMG, I AM THE LUCKIEST GUY IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD! What a miracle that I stumbled upon such a wonderful and amazing event! I am SIMPLY CRAZY about donuts and I love them so much YUM YUM YUM, MMM BOY, I WANT ONE WITH SPRINKLES! I LOVE DONUTS WITH SPRINKLES!!!!!!!!!!

Oh...wait, what?

Oops. That's slightly embarrassing.

Fresh Donuts!

Not free.

Not free at all. Just fresh.