currently reading eckhart tolle's a new earth: awakening to your life's purpose.
i'm hoping this book stirs up something, be it profound enlightenment or at the very least something to chew on. and it did; the point below, buried in a chapter about ego, the body, resentment, and greed, somehow pierced my mind:
your ego is who you think you are, or who you perceive yourself to be. it's the image in the bathroom mirror, be it good or be it bad. however, it's not who you really are. it's all an illusion. awareness and ego cannot coexist. welcome to a life beyond yourself.
8.16.2009
8.13.2009
i remember taking a myers-briggs personality test years ago in which one of the assessment questions was:
do you enjoy taking walks by yourself?
this question made me think of two things 1) i do like to walk by myself, a lot actually and 2) this has to be a trick question, maybe i should answer no?
i decided against answering no because i would by lying, and i already answered a different question that asked if i considered the act of lying as a valid means of avoiding confrontation. i answered no because every time i've lied in the past it has always come back to bite me in the ass, and i've learned my lesson. so eat it myers-briggs, you can't trick me.
regardless, what's wrong with taking walks by yourself and liking it? i get so much good thinking done when i walk the city streets - my nano shuffling, phat beats energizing every step, and thoughts flowing.
however, while i was walking last night, i noticed a couple of things: i saw this cute couple walk out of this ma & pa ice cream shop. they slowly sauntered down the sidewalk, side by side, toting scoops of ice cream in little individual cups. the guy dug right in and fed himself a spoonful of what looked to be chocolate ice cream with brownie or oreo...or some kind of crumbly, black dessert topping. whatever it was, from the look on his face, he loved it. he carefully and strategically took the spoon out of his mouth, leaving a sizable portion of ice cream goo attached to the spoon.
"oh babe you have got to try this" he said.
without resistance from his girlfriend, he then stuck the spoon directly into her mouth so that she could taste his leftovers.
AND SHE LOVED IT TOO.
first, i dry heaved.
second, i thought: i will never forget this unfortunate imagery.
third, i thought: wait a second...maybe i'm just jealous? maybe i'm just completely and utterly consumed with jealousy that i have never, ever, ever done such a thing for anyone nor would i ever even come close to letting someone do that to me. whatever that couple has going on, wow, they really know what they're doing.
which got me to thinking: am i a hopeless loser because i'm lightyears away from being fed regurgitated desserts by my significant other?
and when i say lightyears i mean
light
years
why am i such a loser? i thought to myself. why, why, why?
i want regurgitated desserts.
LOSER.
i thought about it for the rest of my walk home.
just me and my nano. alone.
myers-briggs you win again.
do you enjoy taking walks by yourself?
this question made me think of two things 1) i do like to walk by myself, a lot actually and 2) this has to be a trick question, maybe i should answer no?
i decided against answering no because i would by lying, and i already answered a different question that asked if i considered the act of lying as a valid means of avoiding confrontation. i answered no because every time i've lied in the past it has always come back to bite me in the ass, and i've learned my lesson. so eat it myers-briggs, you can't trick me.
regardless, what's wrong with taking walks by yourself and liking it? i get so much good thinking done when i walk the city streets - my nano shuffling, phat beats energizing every step, and thoughts flowing.
however, while i was walking last night, i noticed a couple of things: i saw this cute couple walk out of this ma & pa ice cream shop. they slowly sauntered down the sidewalk, side by side, toting scoops of ice cream in little individual cups. the guy dug right in and fed himself a spoonful of what looked to be chocolate ice cream with brownie or oreo...or some kind of crumbly, black dessert topping. whatever it was, from the look on his face, he loved it. he carefully and strategically took the spoon out of his mouth, leaving a sizable portion of ice cream goo attached to the spoon.
"oh babe you have got to try this" he said.
without resistance from his girlfriend, he then stuck the spoon directly into her mouth so that she could taste his leftovers.
AND SHE LOVED IT TOO.
first, i dry heaved.
second, i thought: i will never forget this unfortunate imagery.
third, i thought: wait a second...maybe i'm just jealous? maybe i'm just completely and utterly consumed with jealousy that i have never, ever, ever done such a thing for anyone nor would i ever even come close to letting someone do that to me. whatever that couple has going on, wow, they really know what they're doing.
which got me to thinking: am i a hopeless loser because i'm lightyears away from being fed regurgitated desserts by my significant other?
and when i say lightyears i mean
light
years
why am i such a loser? i thought to myself. why, why, why?
i want regurgitated desserts.
LOSER.
i thought about it for the rest of my walk home.
just me and my nano. alone.
myers-briggs you win again.
8.12.2009
we can run through the layers
our feet bare
our minds racing
foresight unseen
from this world to the next
its all right here
but its better over there
i promise
will you come with me?
to lose ourselves in the soft purple haze
and blue hues
i'll know you're there
i feel your breath
you sweat
next to me
as we climb our ambitions
and jump into what’s below
feet first
eyes open
mind free
to do it all over again
will you come with me?
as the sun sets pink
and you hold my hand
tight
our thoughts reflect
hearts connect
of what we will be
will you come with me?
please
8.11.2009
i'm just going to throw this out there: i appreciate your opinion.
god knows i (personally) have plenty of opinions concerning just about everything under the sun. and i often express these opinions right here. the good, the bad, and the downright ugly.
but, people, this is getting tiring. long story short: i'll never make you happy, and i never really intended to.
long ago, back in the day when this blog was all dots...i had a "comment" section.
bad idea. it was misused. feelings were hurt. lines were crossed.
end-o-comment-feature.
also, i've consistently attached my personal email to this blog somewhere, which you've used. repeatedly.
but more recently i've created an email address specifically for this here blog.
and woah, hello world.
you guys aren't going to like everything i do. actually, there are a lot of you that don't like anything i do. and you're the first to tell me.
that's fine. i get it. all of this is up for interpretation.
but seriously, it's not that serious.
you don't like the colors of my header. i do. they remind me of sunsetting miami beaches. sunset is my favorite time of day. therefore the colors of the sunset speak to me. it's all ok.
you don't like my polaroids. i don't like my polaroids either. they're supposed to be ridiculous and nauseating. that's the fun. to me, at least.
you don't like when i'm too serious. you don't like when my posts aren't deep enough. you don't like the way i don't use capitalization any more. you don't agree. you agree but think I could have said things differently. you don't agree and you don't like me.
i get it.
whether its emails, comments, youtube stuff, blog stuff....people love to express their opinion. directly. or, actually, indirectly when it comes to the cyber world. it's way too easy to be critical-on-the-edge-of-offensive-as-well-as-abusive. some people take zero thought or perspective when commenting on something.
not everybody, though. just some.
watch any youtube video and read any of the sometimes thoughtful, most-times thoughtless, absurd, ridiculous, horrific, and altogether deplorable comments people leave. it's jaw dropping.
again, sometimes its positive. but not typically.
it just makes me think: these comments come from our peers. these are every day citizens, amongst us...every day. just people stopping by. but who are you? you all get to see who i am, as well as other bloggers, vloggers, etc, but who are you to say such horrible things to someone you don't know? i'm not speaking personally, i'm just speaking openly.
when it's a conversation, that's different. i love to hear that you either agree, disagree, like or dislike...as long as it's intelligent and respectful. but when you leave a two sentence, vile-filled comment that doesn't do anyone any good...what's the point?
so, when you comment, think about what it is you're actually saying, and how the person on the other end will interpret your opinion.
we're all human. most of us.
but, at any rate, thank you for the feedback. i hear you.
god knows i (personally) have plenty of opinions concerning just about everything under the sun. and i often express these opinions right here. the good, the bad, and the downright ugly.
but, people, this is getting tiring. long story short: i'll never make you happy, and i never really intended to.
long ago, back in the day when this blog was all dots...i had a "comment" section.
bad idea. it was misused. feelings were hurt. lines were crossed.
end-o-comment-feature.
also, i've consistently attached my personal email to this blog somewhere, which you've used. repeatedly.
but more recently i've created an email address specifically for this here blog.
and woah, hello world.
you guys aren't going to like everything i do. actually, there are a lot of you that don't like anything i do. and you're the first to tell me.
that's fine. i get it. all of this is up for interpretation.
but seriously, it's not that serious.
you don't like the colors of my header. i do. they remind me of sunsetting miami beaches. sunset is my favorite time of day. therefore the colors of the sunset speak to me. it's all ok.
you don't like my polaroids. i don't like my polaroids either. they're supposed to be ridiculous and nauseating. that's the fun. to me, at least.
you don't like when i'm too serious. you don't like when my posts aren't deep enough. you don't like the way i don't use capitalization any more. you don't agree. you agree but think I could have said things differently. you don't agree and you don't like me.
i get it.
whether its emails, comments, youtube stuff, blog stuff....people love to express their opinion. directly. or, actually, indirectly when it comes to the cyber world. it's way too easy to be critical-on-the-edge-of-offensive-as-well-as-abusive. some people take zero thought or perspective when commenting on something.
not everybody, though. just some.
watch any youtube video and read any of the sometimes thoughtful, most-times thoughtless, absurd, ridiculous, horrific, and altogether deplorable comments people leave. it's jaw dropping.
again, sometimes its positive. but not typically.
it just makes me think: these comments come from our peers. these are every day citizens, amongst us...every day. just people stopping by. but who are you? you all get to see who i am, as well as other bloggers, vloggers, etc, but who are you to say such horrible things to someone you don't know? i'm not speaking personally, i'm just speaking openly.
when it's a conversation, that's different. i love to hear that you either agree, disagree, like or dislike...as long as it's intelligent and respectful. but when you leave a two sentence, vile-filled comment that doesn't do anyone any good...what's the point?
so, when you comment, think about what it is you're actually saying, and how the person on the other end will interpret your opinion.
we're all human. most of us.
but, at any rate, thank you for the feedback. i hear you.
8.10.2009
i love jeans. jeans are hot. jeans make an outfit. jeans = everything.
very few times do you catch me in shorts. although sometimes they're nice, especially when it's hot, much like this past weekend. my hair is still pretty upset about the humidity, but my legs did just fine. i wore shorts.
(except for saturday, i barely left my apartment that day. in fact, i didn't get out of bed until 6 pm. lets just say friday night was...wow. friday hit hard. a sucker punch if you will.
but, after 7 pm, i did muster up the energy to appease a new found appetite. the first of the day. therefore i accompanied the bff to chipotle (i later chickened out of eating for fear of the inevitable dry heave, so instead i watched him eat and chewed on ice). so, knowing that it was a million degrees outside, i put on shorts. (in addition to a hat and sunglasses, even the setting sun was much too bright and nauseating.)
anyway, shorts creep me out because they don't tell my story. they say, here are my legs - judge them. they say, you would never know i workout 6 days a week because no butt can be found in these cargos.
um, i have a butt. and i have thighs. what about them?
and, i'll have you know, i actually like my legs. i have no issue with showing them via shorts. however, that cannot be said for everyone else's legs. sometimes i wish other people didn't love shorts so much. there are many factors to consider: some guys have skinny legs, some girls have fat legs, some guys have hairy legs, some girls have hairy legs...all in all, they're not all fun to look at. but a lot of you have normal legs, i get that. most legs generally do not offend me. most legs are just...legs. but, we've all seen the legs i'm talking about. sometimes shorts do more harm than good, that's all i'm trying to say.
just keep yourself in check and you'll be fine.
anyway, my point is...right, jeans. i love jeans. but, i noticed today that i don't love all of the jeans i own. therefore i'm throwing some out.
any recommendations on some good jeans? i want to be adventurous and try some new brands out. and do not suggest diesel i already own a billion of them.
something else.
emale me.
very few times do you catch me in shorts. although sometimes they're nice, especially when it's hot, much like this past weekend. my hair is still pretty upset about the humidity, but my legs did just fine. i wore shorts.
(except for saturday, i barely left my apartment that day. in fact, i didn't get out of bed until 6 pm. lets just say friday night was...wow. friday hit hard. a sucker punch if you will.
but, after 7 pm, i did muster up the energy to appease a new found appetite. the first of the day. therefore i accompanied the bff to chipotle (i later chickened out of eating for fear of the inevitable dry heave, so instead i watched him eat and chewed on ice). so, knowing that it was a million degrees outside, i put on shorts. (in addition to a hat and sunglasses, even the setting sun was much too bright and nauseating.)
anyway, shorts creep me out because they don't tell my story. they say, here are my legs - judge them. they say, you would never know i workout 6 days a week because no butt can be found in these cargos.
um, i have a butt. and i have thighs. what about them?
and, i'll have you know, i actually like my legs. i have no issue with showing them via shorts. however, that cannot be said for everyone else's legs. sometimes i wish other people didn't love shorts so much. there are many factors to consider: some guys have skinny legs, some girls have fat legs, some guys have hairy legs, some girls have hairy legs...all in all, they're not all fun to look at. but a lot of you have normal legs, i get that. most legs generally do not offend me. most legs are just...legs. but, we've all seen the legs i'm talking about. sometimes shorts do more harm than good, that's all i'm trying to say.
just keep yourself in check and you'll be fine.
anyway, my point is...right, jeans. i love jeans. but, i noticed today that i don't love all of the jeans i own. therefore i'm throwing some out.
any recommendations on some good jeans? i want to be adventurous and try some new brands out. and do not suggest diesel i already own a billion of them.
something else.
emale me.
8.09.2009
8.07.2009
hey yo.
just wanted to remind you that i'm constantly updating my nano with new music. so, make sure to check it out. often. if you're at work, drown out your coworkers by popping in some buds. groove with me.
the music i pick always has a cool, refreshing vibe...something you don't hear every day and something that might up your mood just a bit, make you feel somewhere else. somewhere...better?
ilike it. i hope you do too.
just wanted to remind you that i'm constantly updating my nano with new music. so, make sure to check it out. often. if you're at work, drown out your coworkers by popping in some buds. groove with me.
the music i pick always has a cool, refreshing vibe...something you don't hear every day and something that might up your mood just a bit, make you feel somewhere else. somewhere...better?
ilike it. i hope you do too.
8.06.2009
here's some education for you:
today, via merriam-webster's word of the day email notification...which, i might add, arrives to my blackberry at 5:45 am every morning forcing me to open my eyes a whole hour earlier than what's necessary (thanks, merriam!)...but, back to my point, i learned something new.
so, at a normal hour, hint hint merriam, i reviewed the word of the day to much disappointment. 5:45 for this, really? the word seemed so basic.
demean.
get real. why don't you just have the word be apple or jump? i mean, yesterday it was philoprogenitive. nice. i like that. i yearn for the day when i can zing all of my friend(s) by using said word in a conversation. pre-thinking this, it'll go something like, "oh you hate kids? not me, i'm always feeling all philoprogenitive-y. oh, you don't know what that means? my bad. i learned it as a kid, sorry...it means wanting to have babies. you're welcome."
what was i talking about? oh yeah...demean.
so, i was disappointed and simultaneously acting all sorts of superior to such an easy word. in fact, to show who's boss, i wasn't even going to open the email, rather delete it on the spot. who has the time? i mean, i might as well open up my spam folder and read "soft wet asian lips!" while i'm at it. i'm sure jasmine flavors, the sender, has something equally non-important to say.
but something made me open it. the demean email...not asian lips.
wait, what? i read the definition twice.
demean \dih-MEEN\ verb: to conduct or behave (oneself) usually in a proper manner.
example sentence: sylvia was proud of the polite way her young children demeaned themselves in front of the dinner guests.
ok, something is wrong with a)merriam webster for making such a huge slip-up and b) sylvia for priding herself on the fact that her kids demean themselves in front of dinner guests. what'd they do, pee on themselves? that is hardly a behavior i would promote to youth.
anyway,
even though i was super pissed at both merriam and sylvia, i kept reading:
did you know?
there are two words spelled "demean" in english. the more familiar "demean" — "to lower in character, status, or reputation" — comes straight from "mean," the adjective that means "spiteful." today's featured word, on the other hand, comes from the anglo-french verb "demener" ("to conduct"). this verb is generally used in contexts specifying a type of behavior: "he demeaned himself in a most unfriendly manner"; as you may have already guessed, the noun "demeanor," meaning "behavior," comes from this "demean."
omg. lightbulb. i've come full circle now.
it's odd, but demean regards conducting oneself or behaving in a particular manner, or to undermine or belittle either your own or someone else's dignity.
gotcha.
if i do say so myself, i like the second version better. personally, if i'm demeaning, it's because i'm going for your jugular, not because i'm dancing around and playing a flute solo in front of dinner guests.
just fyi. you're welcome.
today, via merriam-webster's word of the day email notification...which, i might add, arrives to my blackberry at 5:45 am every morning forcing me to open my eyes a whole hour earlier than what's necessary (thanks, merriam!)...but, back to my point, i learned something new.
so, at a normal hour, hint hint merriam, i reviewed the word of the day to much disappointment. 5:45 for this, really? the word seemed so basic.
demean.
get real. why don't you just have the word be apple or jump? i mean, yesterday it was philoprogenitive. nice. i like that. i yearn for the day when i can zing all of my friend(s) by using said word in a conversation. pre-thinking this, it'll go something like, "oh you hate kids? not me, i'm always feeling all philoprogenitive-y. oh, you don't know what that means? my bad. i learned it as a kid, sorry...it means wanting to have babies. you're welcome."
what was i talking about? oh yeah...demean.
so, i was disappointed and simultaneously acting all sorts of superior to such an easy word. in fact, to show who's boss, i wasn't even going to open the email, rather delete it on the spot. who has the time? i mean, i might as well open up my spam folder and read "soft wet asian lips!" while i'm at it. i'm sure jasmine flavors, the sender, has something equally non-important to say.
but something made me open it. the demean email...not asian lips.
wait, what? i read the definition twice.
demean \dih-MEEN\ verb: to conduct or behave (oneself) usually in a proper manner.
example sentence: sylvia was proud of the polite way her young children demeaned themselves in front of the dinner guests.
ok, something is wrong with a)merriam webster for making such a huge slip-up and b) sylvia for priding herself on the fact that her kids demean themselves in front of dinner guests. what'd they do, pee on themselves? that is hardly a behavior i would promote to youth.
anyway,
even though i was super pissed at both merriam and sylvia, i kept reading:
did you know?
there are two words spelled "demean" in english. the more familiar "demean" — "to lower in character, status, or reputation" — comes straight from "mean," the adjective that means "spiteful." today's featured word, on the other hand, comes from the anglo-french verb "demener" ("to conduct"). this verb is generally used in contexts specifying a type of behavior: "he demeaned himself in a most unfriendly manner"; as you may have already guessed, the noun "demeanor," meaning "behavior," comes from this "demean."
omg. lightbulb. i've come full circle now.
it's odd, but demean regards conducting oneself or behaving in a particular manner, or to undermine or belittle either your own or someone else's dignity.
gotcha.
if i do say so myself, i like the second version better. personally, if i'm demeaning, it's because i'm going for your jugular, not because i'm dancing around and playing a flute solo in front of dinner guests.
just fyi. you're welcome.
8.05.2009
things noticed at the gym:
-some people do really weird exercises. i don't know if they saw some cool, new exercise move in a magazine and perhaps just aren't doing it right or maybe i'm just not in-the-know of what exercise looks like in 2009...but either way, wow. i hope i don't look as ridiculous as those peeps do. should you really be running backwards on a treadmill?
-cargo shorts aren't a proper substitute for gym shorts, are they? i missed that memo. and while we're at it...sandals? really?
-playlists are key. keep it bumping. ever be lifting something really heavy when all of a sudden joni mitchell's "both sides now" comes on...and you begin to think, if people don't like me for who i am on the inside, then screw them! and then you stop working out? i have. from now on, sexy back on repeat. (jk)
-old people tend to idle on the machines. and even worse they take up valuable space on the floor mats. i've even seen some doze off while doing stretches. i get sort of annoyed with this but in reality, they're old and they're still going to the gym. good for them. the art of seduction is over for them, they don't need a six pack, yet they're still doing sit-ups. wow, props. i mean really, they're just trying to keep their heart tickin and their cholesterol low. lay there all you want, take your time. you've earned it.
-nothing makes me smile more than seeing some dumb girl talk on her cell phone while on the treadmill. they're so stupid it makes me smile.
-i'm horrified to step foot in gym locker rooms. one time i needed to go to the bathroom and therefore had to go in one. and to my surprise there were nude people everywhere. nude people of all sorts and sizes and body hair amounts. i realize the purpose of locker rooms is for accommodating a state of undress but i ain't going in one again. lesson learned. i'll pee in the water fountain or something.
-do men get cellulite? i hope not.
-what's the ratio of people who go to the gym to workout vs. people who go to the gym to "meet" people? according to craigslist, there are a lot of connections at the gym. why am i wasting my time and money on eharmony then? geez.
-i've never been a big sweater, but i wish i were. i'd look so much cooler. i want one of those sweaty backs where there's like a huge circle of sweat on the back of your tshirt. i've never had one of those! i blame joni mitchell for ruining my chances.
-i have so many fears in life (sleep walking off my patio, being bitten by an animal, nettle stings, low flying airplanes, brain aneurysms, etc) but at the gym i have two major fears: 1) i avoid treadmills because i have to concentrate really hard in order not to misstep and trip up or worse, fall off (i have a really bad sense of balance) and 2) when using weight machines i'm convinced i'll accidentally get a finger, body part, lock of hair, something stuck in the complex pulley system of those machines. they always have those warnings saying "keep body parts away from this, that, and the other" but what if joni mitchell comes on and i lapse into a trance of depression and then unknowingly rest my head in between the rising and falling weight stacks? or, what if i have an aneurysm and fall directly into the pulley system?
obesity is looking mighty good these days.
-some people do really weird exercises. i don't know if they saw some cool, new exercise move in a magazine and perhaps just aren't doing it right or maybe i'm just not in-the-know of what exercise looks like in 2009...but either way, wow. i hope i don't look as ridiculous as those peeps do. should you really be running backwards on a treadmill?
-cargo shorts aren't a proper substitute for gym shorts, are they? i missed that memo. and while we're at it...sandals? really?
-playlists are key. keep it bumping. ever be lifting something really heavy when all of a sudden joni mitchell's "both sides now" comes on...and you begin to think, if people don't like me for who i am on the inside, then screw them! and then you stop working out? i have. from now on, sexy back on repeat. (jk)
-old people tend to idle on the machines. and even worse they take up valuable space on the floor mats. i've even seen some doze off while doing stretches. i get sort of annoyed with this but in reality, they're old and they're still going to the gym. good for them. the art of seduction is over for them, they don't need a six pack, yet they're still doing sit-ups. wow, props. i mean really, they're just trying to keep their heart tickin and their cholesterol low. lay there all you want, take your time. you've earned it.
-nothing makes me smile more than seeing some dumb girl talk on her cell phone while on the treadmill. they're so stupid it makes me smile.
-i'm horrified to step foot in gym locker rooms. one time i needed to go to the bathroom and therefore had to go in one. and to my surprise there were nude people everywhere. nude people of all sorts and sizes and body hair amounts. i realize the purpose of locker rooms is for accommodating a state of undress but i ain't going in one again. lesson learned. i'll pee in the water fountain or something.
-do men get cellulite? i hope not.
-what's the ratio of people who go to the gym to workout vs. people who go to the gym to "meet" people? according to craigslist, there are a lot of connections at the gym. why am i wasting my time and money on eharmony then? geez.
-i've never been a big sweater, but i wish i were. i'd look so much cooler. i want one of those sweaty backs where there's like a huge circle of sweat on the back of your tshirt. i've never had one of those! i blame joni mitchell for ruining my chances.
-i have so many fears in life (sleep walking off my patio, being bitten by an animal, nettle stings, low flying airplanes, brain aneurysms, etc) but at the gym i have two major fears: 1) i avoid treadmills because i have to concentrate really hard in order not to misstep and trip up or worse, fall off (i have a really bad sense of balance) and 2) when using weight machines i'm convinced i'll accidentally get a finger, body part, lock of hair, something stuck in the complex pulley system of those machines. they always have those warnings saying "keep body parts away from this, that, and the other" but what if joni mitchell comes on and i lapse into a trance of depression and then unknowingly rest my head in between the rising and falling weight stacks? or, what if i have an aneurysm and fall directly into the pulley system?
obesity is looking mighty good these days.
8.04.2009
confession:
i really like taking pictures of the sky. be it a beautiful sunset...or on the rare occasion that i'm awake to see it...a sunrise. seeing either can sometimes make me feel entirely different about life, about myself. i don't know how it happens, but it does. each time. it alters my perspective, it lifts my mood, it strengthens my bonds.
it just takes one. and i make sure to document each and every personal awakening. if it speaks to me, i speak to it.
the picture below is an incredibly amazing sunrise over lake michigan. i'm lucky enough to have such an amazing view, therefore i cherish moments like this. are they always this beautiful? i like to think this morning was personalized for me. because i was awake, somehow.
well...
it just so happens that the picture below was taken on a night/morning in which i closed down the clubs.
mhmm...you heardddd right. ryansumner closed down the clubs.
i used to be fun. and i still have my moments.
anyway, i came home to this. thank you god.
i really like taking pictures of the sky. be it a beautiful sunset...or on the rare occasion that i'm awake to see it...a sunrise. seeing either can sometimes make me feel entirely different about life, about myself. i don't know how it happens, but it does. each time. it alters my perspective, it lifts my mood, it strengthens my bonds.
it just takes one. and i make sure to document each and every personal awakening. if it speaks to me, i speak to it.
the picture below is an incredibly amazing sunrise over lake michigan. i'm lucky enough to have such an amazing view, therefore i cherish moments like this. are they always this beautiful? i like to think this morning was personalized for me. because i was awake, somehow.
well...
it just so happens that the picture below was taken on a night/morning in which i closed down the clubs.
mhmm...you heardddd right. ryansumner closed down the clubs.
i used to be fun. and i still have my moments.
anyway, i came home to this. thank you god.
8.03.2009
i'm not apologizing for this, mostly because it's my (classless) roommate's possession, not my own.
but i love it just the same.
hey, i like the president just as much as you do. well maybe a little less than you do, but i still like the guy. and what's better than an homage in your honor? especially when you get to grow...whatever it is that grows on his head (it barely resembles a plant)...as a makeshift afro. i say why not? it's a flattering do.
hairstyle homages aren't racist!
just let me love this without judgement, ok?
but i love it just the same.
hey, i like the president just as much as you do. well maybe a little less than you do, but i still like the guy. and what's better than an homage in your honor? especially when you get to grow...whatever it is that grows on his head (it barely resembles a plant)...as a makeshift afro. i say why not? it's a flattering do.
hairstyle homages aren't racist!
just let me love this without judgement, ok?
8.02.2009
today i learned a little lesson in life. no wait, two actually. two, solid, crucial elements of being a better person: empathy and humility.
observe the situation
i'm walking down the street, so is a random guy in the opposite direction. he's going south, i'm going north. random guy is walking very fast, very confidently, just minding his own business. it's a beautiful day. but for some reason, random guy is not aware of this large construction sign in the middle of the crosswalk. i saw it coming. he completely, full-force trips over the thing. oops. the guy was so unaware of this obstacle that his own collision frightened him a little, making him do a gay inhale. you know the inhale i'm talking about.
anyway, he didn't fall, actually recovered semi-gracefully, but still...i was too close in proximity. there was no mistaking what had just happened. this instance of tripping in public was far too complex to pull off as a non-trip. he tripped big time. even added his own sound effects. plus it's broad daylight, i obviously saw it, he knew i saw it, and to make matters worse for him, there were still a few feet of awkwardness to walk before we passed one other. luckily for me, i had sunglasses on so i didn't have to make eye contact. luckily for him, he was black and therefore blushing is less noticeable.
the lesson here is that, when the trip first happened, instead of being like "oh geez, i hope he's okay" my first thought was
"woah, dumbass, look where you're going...that sign even had flashing lights on it for crying out loud."
okay that's just plain rude. it was an accident RYAN. you're so rude sometimes. sorry, my bad.
empathy. we all need it. none of us are perfect, we're all going to gaff at some point or another. so, when others do, it's best to wish them well or provide aid during their time of need, rather than kicking them when they're already down. which was my unfortunate route.
lesson learned.
karma kicked in. as i passed by the guy i thought, "how embarrassing."
before you know it, i too tripped over the sign. what!? how did that even happen? i was too caught up in my rudeness to notice a huge, blinking sign saying "caution" over and over again. weird how that happens. and it hurt like a son of a bitch, too. i was wearing flip flops.
and i wasn't as lucky as the other guy. my toe started bleeding AND, to make matters worse, a grandma-ish lady from across the street called out "are you okay?!"
i pretended not to hear her. maybe she'll think i didn't trip?
humility.
i am not perfect in many ways.
observe the situation
i'm walking down the street, so is a random guy in the opposite direction. he's going south, i'm going north. random guy is walking very fast, very confidently, just minding his own business. it's a beautiful day. but for some reason, random guy is not aware of this large construction sign in the middle of the crosswalk. i saw it coming. he completely, full-force trips over the thing. oops. the guy was so unaware of this obstacle that his own collision frightened him a little, making him do a gay inhale. you know the inhale i'm talking about.
anyway, he didn't fall, actually recovered semi-gracefully, but still...i was too close in proximity. there was no mistaking what had just happened. this instance of tripping in public was far too complex to pull off as a non-trip. he tripped big time. even added his own sound effects. plus it's broad daylight, i obviously saw it, he knew i saw it, and to make matters worse for him, there were still a few feet of awkwardness to walk before we passed one other. luckily for me, i had sunglasses on so i didn't have to make eye contact. luckily for him, he was black and therefore blushing is less noticeable.
the lesson here is that, when the trip first happened, instead of being like "oh geez, i hope he's okay" my first thought was
"woah, dumbass, look where you're going...that sign even had flashing lights on it for crying out loud."
okay that's just plain rude. it was an accident RYAN. you're so rude sometimes. sorry, my bad.
empathy. we all need it. none of us are perfect, we're all going to gaff at some point or another. so, when others do, it's best to wish them well or provide aid during their time of need, rather than kicking them when they're already down. which was my unfortunate route.
lesson learned.
karma kicked in. as i passed by the guy i thought, "how embarrassing."
before you know it, i too tripped over the sign. what!? how did that even happen? i was too caught up in my rudeness to notice a huge, blinking sign saying "caution" over and over again. weird how that happens. and it hurt like a son of a bitch, too. i was wearing flip flops.
and i wasn't as lucky as the other guy. my toe started bleeding AND, to make matters worse, a grandma-ish lady from across the street called out "are you okay?!"
i pretended not to hear her. maybe she'll think i didn't trip?
humility.
i am not perfect in many ways.
8.01.2009
7.31.2009
7.21.2009
Hey yall. Guess what, it's summer.
Did you already know that?
Well in case you didn't...it is. So, since summer essentially means vacation, that's exactly what I'll be doing. Vacating? Temporarily.
I'm gonna take a nice, little vacay from the ol' blog and v-log.
Yep. Just a little time to myself to catch up on rest, sun, and hopefully some fun. BUT, when I come back, it will be with a BANG:
I'm going to completely revamp the site, change the layout, add some new elements and features, and basically be a bigger bad ass then you'd ever thought possible.
Stay tuned.
I'LL BE BACK.
Did you already know that?
Well in case you didn't...it is. So, since summer essentially means vacation, that's exactly what I'll be doing. Vacating? Temporarily.
I'm gonna take a nice, little vacay from the ol' blog and v-log.
Yep. Just a little time to myself to catch up on rest, sun, and hopefully some fun. BUT, when I come back, it will be with a BANG:
I'm going to completely revamp the site, change the layout, add some new elements and features, and basically be a bigger bad ass then you'd ever thought possible.
Stay tuned.
I'LL BE BACK.
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