by being a dick.
you heard me right.
so, it's noon-ish. i'm eating lunch. my patio doors are open.
(my patio faces the entrance to the building i live in.)
i'm sitting, eating, enjoying...then i hear someone say "hey!"
and not a nice hey. a rude hey. i liken it to a crass NY'er yelling at a taxi that braked late into the crosswalk. "hey! i'm walkin here!"
anyway, this hey immediately grates on my typically infallible nerves.
so i turn around and some older guy is peering into my patio window.
sick.
my new guard dog bella goes to the patio door and gives him a soft woof.
"woah there, fella." was his response.
admittedly, i'm somewhat charmed by his old-timey expression.
so, giving him the benefit of doubt, i walked over to the patio door and performed an up-and-down assessment of the old timey charmer. that would be his name, i decided.
eep, too soon - i'm no longer charmed.
he look-a-like-a-creep.
slightly annoyed with his creepiness and already knowing he's going to waste my time, i slowly raise my eyebrows as to signal to him to warrant his hey.
**by the way, from the mere 2 seconds i looked at him, i automatically assume him a serial killer. the old-timey charmer is now his serial killer name. here is my best recollection of his appearance:
PS the man in that picture is a serial killer. coincidence?
-in his hands he had what looked to be a dvr device wrapped in a plastic bag.
-he was wearing a neon yellow vest - much like a road construction worker.
-he was also wearing beige dockers with a matching button-up.
-he had a nightstick attached to his belt.
=???
i didn't like what was before me.
he began to ramble about being a technician that is installing something in the "insert random neighbor's last name here" and that he got locked out. he appeared frustrated and in a hurry.
i continued to look at him, mostly in fear and significant doubt, then quickly assessed my options. i could:
1) buzz him into the building and let whatever happens, happen. my deadbolt was bolted after all.
2) continue to ask him questions like a detective would, however it was raining and the raindrops kept hitting the patio floor then splashing onto the inside floor as well as my feet. i didn't like that.
3) say no and walk away.
i chose option 3.
he immediately became hostile. "whaddaya mean you're not going to let me in!?"
i walked back over.
sir it's against association policy to let people in this building unless they are my personal guests or city authorities. i don't know you. i'm not letting you inside.
"gimme a break kid, i just told you what i was here for!"
i'm not a kid, although i do appear youthful. still...the kid thing was the final nail in his coffin.
sorry, sir, no can do.
*shuts patio door
i like to think i did this building a favor. you all have your heads! as far as i'm concerned - he was going to cut them off and dislplay them in some secret cave full of...heads.
i'm a hero.
and you're welcome.
and i'm not a kid.
