amy winehouse, amy winehouse.
(what to say about amy winehouse without offending her "fans." hmm...)
tough one.
amy winehouse was a celebrated artist. many people adored her. i personally wasn't much of a fan. for me, it was always hard to watch. hard to listen to.
with the news of her passing on every headline and at the fingertips of all social medialites, i've read numerous comments from people mourning her death. everyone's so sad. so upset. supposedly playing her songs on repeat all day in her honor. how sweet.
except...
to me, personally, it's disturbing. not the fact that amy died, but it's disturbing that, all of a sudden, we now care that she was an addict. no one cared before.
it's an ironic yet appalling twist on how we view sloppy drunks and crack addicts in the entertainment industry.
for non-spotlighted addicts - we look down upon them. they have a problem and it's not OK.
for spotlighted addicts - we give them a round of applause and want front row seats to their spectacle.
it's cool, it's funny, it's art...
until they die. then it's a shame.
back when amy was "big," (and i use that term in a dual sense considering how small and seemingly malnourished she often appeared) people flocked to her shows in astonishment of the fact that a drunk, coked out singer could put on such an entertaining show. what with the hair, the make-up, the back-up band and singers...her good voice. but also in that entertainment package came her drunkenness, her self-admitted drug use before performances, her wobbly knees and lack of balance. to me, it was a cross breed of a dog and pony show mixed with a shit show.
to most people it was "wow, it's so cool that someone can be so deplete of professionalism and integrity but their vocal chords can hit a few notes within an undeniably catchy melody."
well let's gobble up her albums and put her on TV!
sure, it was fun. we ate it up. but it was all at her expense.
we love to make fun of people with serious, serious addictions. *when they're alive.* but when their addictions catch up to them. when their addictions take full control. when their addictions seize their very last breath. when their addictions have taken their life. then, and only then, do we stop laughing.
then we're sad.
??
how sick.
now, and only now, it's no longer funny that amy winehouse had a serious lineup of addictions...addictions that she made no secret to her fans or to the general public. addictions that she displayed in daylight. on tv. in the magazines. everywhere.
it wasn't in some dimly-lit bathroom with a few of her closest friends.
it was on stage. in front of you. cameras rolling.
knowingly or not knowingly to herself, she was a user.
a serious user.
and what did we do in response? as "fans" we watched her fall time and time again, in many ways. at appearances, award shows, concerts - we would first wait in anticipation to see if she would show up. if she did, we waited to see if she could remember the lyrics to her songs. we loved her non-composure. we applauded a shot on stage. we gave her a standing O for merely finishing. later we went to tmz and perezhilton to see pictures of her leaving and falling down in the streets.
boy was that fun. i'm going to be her for halloween! dress me up like a drunk cokehead with a beehive and smudged mascara!
oh, but now she died. she died from the very things that made her so popular. the very things that made her "unique." the very things that are not OK on any other platform except rock n' roll. it makes the music better if you're crazy and addicted to something dangerous.
??
emotions aside and in reality - she died from the very lifestyle we both championed and funded. and, as her fan, you have the gall to mourn?
you didn't know her. you didn't love her. you didn't help her.
don't mourn.
be ashamed.
