i remember taking a myers-briggs personality test years ago in which one of the assessment questions was:
do you enjoy taking walks by yourself?
this question made me think of two things 1) i do like to walk by myself, a lot actually and 2) this has to be a trick question, maybe i should answer no?
i decided against answering no because i would by lying, and i already answered a different question that asked if i considered the act of lying as a valid means of avoiding confrontation. i answered no because every time i've lied in the past it has always come back to bite me in the ass, and i've learned my lesson. so eat it myers-briggs, you can't trick me.
regardless, what's wrong with taking walks by yourself and liking it? i get so much good thinking done when i walk the city streets - my nano shuffling, phat beats energizing every step, and thoughts flowing.
however, while i was walking last night, i noticed a couple of things: i saw this cute couple walk out of this ma & pa ice cream shop. they slowly sauntered down the sidewalk, side by side, toting scoops of ice cream in little individual cups. the guy dug right in and fed himself a spoonful of what looked to be chocolate ice cream with brownie or oreo...or some kind of crumbly, black dessert topping. whatever it was, from the look on his face, he loved it. he carefully and strategically took the spoon out of his mouth, leaving a sizable portion of ice cream goo attached to the spoon.
"oh babe you have got to try this" he said.
without resistance from his girlfriend, he then stuck the spoon directly into her mouth so that she could taste his leftovers.
AND SHE LOVED IT TOO.
first, i dry heaved.
second, i thought: i will never forget this unfortunate imagery.
third, i thought: wait a second...maybe i'm just jealous? maybe i'm just completely and utterly consumed with jealousy that i have never, ever, ever done such a thing for anyone nor would i ever even come close to letting someone do that to me. whatever that couple has going on, wow, they really know what they're doing.
which got me to thinking: am i a hopeless loser because i'm lightyears away from being fed regurgitated desserts by my significant other?
and when i say lightyears i mean
light
years
why am i such a loser? i thought to myself. why, why, why?
i want regurgitated desserts.
LOSER.
i thought about it for the rest of my walk home.
just me and my nano. alone.
myers-briggs you win again.
