Bacon cheeseburgers are quite possibly my favorite food on planet Earth. But there are many facets to making a great bacon cheeseburger. First of all, the burger must be flame grilled. No fast food microwaving, no frying pans, no George Foreman...it has to be on a grill. And the burger patty itself cannot be skinny. Skinny burgers freak me out. They have to be atleast a 1/4 lb. Why waste your time with anything less?
Secondly, there must be these condiments on my bacon cheeseburger: lettuce (preferably shredded), dill pickle (preferably in "chip" form), ketchup, yellow mustard, and the cheese needs to be either American or pepperjack (but never swiss, it's my least favorite cheese besides bleu, wait, I take that back, bleu cheese is my least favorite, actually, though it isn't even a possibility for me to eat it because it's so effing disgusting).
Oh, sidenote, this burger cannot come from a fast food restaurant. Nope. Sorry. No can do. It's not worth it on any level because those compacted burger patties are composed of about 1,000 cows. Not doin it. I need a real bacon cheeseburger.
(I almost never, ever eat fast food ((unless it's Subway or Chipotle)) but if I do eat fast food I never order a burger because they're almost always nasty. You know who has the nastiest lettuce on Earth if you order a burger? Wendy's. Don't get me wrong, I love me some Wendy's, BUT, their lettuce is a slimy piece of lettuce shrapnel that entices my gag reflex, which is weird because I DON'T HAVE A GAG REFLEX?)
(You want to know why I know I don't have a gag reflex? Well, and this is slightly embarrassing, but then again I don't really care because I don't have an eating disorder ((pretty much the opposite)): BUT, I've tried to make myself puke before (for several different reasons, none of them serious, but somewhat funny in hindsight) and I cannot do it no matter how far I stick my finger/arm down my throat. It just won't happen. Sorry, no gag or puke is to be had.)
Now I have experienced a gag reflex when smelling something gross or seeing something gross, so maybe that's the answer to my problem. If I see someone puking my gag reflex gets real sensitive.
Back to my point, the bacon can be prepared any which way, I don't really care, bacon is bacon and it's almost always good. It can be soggy, it can be crisp, but I personally cannot cook bacon because I ALWAYS burn it and subsequently it's never edible. Someone with much more skill than I has to cook bacon. I heard putting it in the oven is a smart idea? Don't quote me on that.
Another REALLY important part of the hamburger is the bun. Too often burgers are served on bad buns. I really appreciate the aesthetics of a sesame seed bun. It just looks right.
But above all else the bun needs to be fresh, slightly toasted, and NOT buttered in any way, shape, or form. Butter makes it soggy and sick.
Burgers are always so good, I don't know that I've ever had a bad one.
Aren't you glad I'm not talking about shells? That was a ton of personal opinion.
