the bible of ryansumner, cont'd:
51. When wearing flip flops, make sure your feet are socially presentable. If you have weird toes, toenails, whatever else, make sure to figure it out before presenting them to the world.
52. You can never go wrong with a fitted T, a great pair of denim, nikes, and a pair of aviators. 100% classic and always sex-appealing.
53. Peanut butter: eat in moderation. You know how you are.
54. Quit when you’re ahead.
55. There’s a fine line separating a man bag from a gay purse. No Puma bags. No tiny back packs. No Luis, D&G, Burberry or anything else with a pattern. All of these are over-the-top and scream pansy. It’s all in the strap, the bag itself, and how it hangs about your body. Choose wisely.
56. Skinny jeans – this has yet to be decided. I’m almost positive I don’t like the way I look in them but I really haven’t given them a fair chance yet. I’ll stamp TBD on this until further review. Just be careful.
57. Hipster is an acquired taste and posers can certainly be spotted. Easily. There’s a middle ground somewhere and I experiment with it often. No, you won’t catch me on a 10 speed though.
58. Speaking of, take extreme caution when shopping at Diesel. The jeans – all day. But shirts, t-shirts, and accessories? Probably not. And the underwear? Never.
59. Resist fountain pop at all costs. Yes, it sounds like an amazing thing. So delicious and refreshing. BUT, your teeth are white, your weight is good, and your personality is consistent. Therefore pop will do you no favors. Water with lemon, all the way.
60. I just figured this out, the less you do with your hair…the better. A no-fuss look is SO much better than douchebag hair; i.e. see Adam Lambert, Zac Efron, or 85% of Minibar patrons.
61. Paper towels should never be considered napkins or Kleenex. They have a pre-determined function: spills.
62. Six inches is plenty. A footlong is too much. That’s all I have to say about that.
63. Use caution at the iTunes store. The 25 second preview is sometimes not enough to make a rational decision. Make sure you LOVE the song before you buy it. We’re in a recession after all.
64. Also, bands like All American Rejects, Fall Out Boy and similar are very tricky. Their songs are good at first…until you hear it a couple more times then decide you’re over it already, fading into oblivion and taking up space in your iTunes library. Annoying.
65. The less keys the better. I have 7 and that’s way too much.
66. Key rings should have ONE object to hold on to. And it should be simple. Beer openers, LipSmackers, pieces of plastic with "funny" sayings on them, and similar are never options. Ever. We all know that one girl in high school that had one of those horrifyingly endless key rings filled to the max with objects you could by at Spencer’s Gifts or any souvenir shop. Sick. Never be her.
67. Interior design, pizza, wardrobe, and hair product: less is more. Do not OD.
68. Don’t forget to update your Twitter, and never leave posted an @ reply. That’s like walking into the middle of someone else’s conversation. Completely uninteresting and awkward.
69. Remain interesting at all times. If you feel even a glimmer of drab approaching, something’s wrong. Do something creative immediately.
70. Do not buy something at Goodwill or Brown Elephant if it’s even slightly overpriced. It was donated to them. Those effers at the BE sometimes put ridiculous prices on absolute junk. It is not a deal by any means. Screw them. I don’t care where the money supposedly goes. I’m not paying $60 for that old console table, especially considering the drawer on the right doesn’t even shut all the way without a fight.
71. Confidence and ego are two separate things. Always be confident. Walk with your head upright. Face the world. But reveal your ego and its over. So unattractive.
72. Drugs are bad. Make sure to put it out there that you do not do them. Ever.
73. Keep your YouTube Vlog under 5 minutes.
74. Your phone and your keys should be kept in separate pockets. Scratches make you really upset.
75. Generic pens also make you really upset. You’re also really bad at using highlighters. Avoid both.
