i love this. and it's so true. fun does make everything better, even stairs:

has anyone out there had a tattoo removed? if so, can you please emale me and tell me

a) how much did it cost
b) how bad did it hurt
c) how many sessions did you undergo
d) how does it look post-removal
e) how satisfied are you with the procedure as a whole

i'm wondering if i should have a tattoo removed, or if i should get a sleeve of tattoos to mask the tattoo i don't care for?

it could go either way, i'm just weighing my options.

omg. seriously.

i just posted this article on facebook that talks about how lady gaga is an illuminati puppet with a mission of mind control and non-sensical manipulation. i am so deeply intrigued by this quote from the author:

"Her whole persona (whether its an act or not) is a tribute to mind control, where being vacuous, incoherent and absent minded becomes a fashionable thing."

yes, this is entirely true about lady gaga. her whole "act" is deep into symbolism and illusion that people are entranced, intrigued, and bewildered by...which ups her demand and "fame." she's talented, but she's a complete mind-fuck and boy do americans love that. that's why many of us are deep into drinking, drugs, and prescription medication. after a line of coke, binge drinking a handle of vodka, and popping 5 or 6 adderals, life is like one, giant lady gaga video.

but gaga isn't alone. look at what else our society is obsessed with - do you see a connection?

lady gaga
perez hilton
the kardashians
rachel zoe
paris hilton
the insider
carrie prejean

all of this mindless trash we eat up. yum yum yum. we love absent-minded, shallow, unintelligent entertainment. get me a starbucks, a hair weave, and some heavy eye makeup stat...i feel like a star! the more someone can shock us by being completely uncivil, pretentious, and entirely brainless...the more we LOVE it. the more we live it. the more we expect it as our own, blurred reality. secret is: it's not a reality. it's not fashion. it's not glamorous.

it's a pre-packaged, deeply planned, shiny gimmick. shiny sells.

give them your money. give them your time. give them your attention.

you're a part of the plan. and it's working to a t.

don't be so stupid, america.

our children are fucked.

omg what a bunch of crabcakes you guys are. had i known i'd get so much negative feedback about my less than freakishly excited stance on gaga i would have written more!

i just read 7 hateful emails about why gaga is so amazing, why her style is perfection, how she pushes the envelope, and why i'm so stupid for not understanding it...i was even called "jealous" of her talent.

fiesty. you know me too well.

you guys...seriously. first, i can have my own opinion. i feel like a broken record with that stance. second, the only reason i mentioned the gaga is because 900 people posted something about lady gaga's new video on both facebook and twitter, something to the effect of:

OMG LADY GAGA IS SO BRILLIANT OMG BAD ROMANCE IS AMAZEBALLS I LOVE GAGA GAGA4LIFE

followed by 9 million exclamation points and a link to her video.

glad you guys enjoyed the gag..a. i don't. i don't mind her music, it's fine and all...but c'mon. she's a spectacle.

anyone that demands that much attention from her audience...god i feel like i can't even say this without fearing for my life...but it's not because it's raw talent.

it's a production number. gaga has a great voice. i just wish she wouldn't rely upon glitter and blood and all-that-is-crazy-and-taboo to sell her craft.

just sing.

save the bs. every time her music comes on my nano, i'll give it a listen. sometimes i even enjoy it. but when she's on tv or in the videos...she's no better than carrie prejean.

somebody, anybody LOVE me!

and boy do the gays love her. she was super smart for crediting the gays with her success because now she's golden with them.

whatev. she's best heard and not seen.

that's just one man's perspective.

the gays are going gaga for gaga.

what's new?

my opinion: eh. i'm becoming less interested in pop, one gaga at a time.

did anyone watch the carrie prejean interview this morning on the today show?

holy crap.

i already knew this before, but after watching the interview it's been undeniably confirmed in concrete that carrie prejean is the dumbest, most hypocritical, spotlight-loving nobody that i have ever witnessed. she's worse than jon and kate combined. wow. it's like jon asked kate to carrie tara reid's fertilized egg and out popped carrie prejean 9 months later except in adult form. carrie probably weighed the same as 6 babies, so it's conceivable...well, before the boob job i guess. those things look somewhat heavy.

at any rate, the interview...um, watch it. without going into a long, unending rant about this, just know that if you are a "conservative woman" you should be extremely concerned that carrie prejean is toting the same label. she said "conservative women live up to a double standard!" "sarah palin has been criticized!" "if sean hannity criticized sonia sotomayor or michelle obama, he'd be thrown off air!"

???? (!)

get real prejean! anyone in the public spotlight (especially politicians) are going to be criticized fairly or unfairly, regardless of party affiliation. that's how it works. when you're a public servant, you're on the chopping block 24/7. have you ever watched fox news, carrie? it's not like they're singing kumbaya about all-things-obama and all-things-liberal.

and then carrie prejean is toting her rights to free speech. liberals want to silence her by releasing the sex tape...which you can call a sex tape, that's fine, but it's not...it's just a private video of carrie performing solo masturbation which was meant to be seen only by her boyfriend-at-the-time! and it's been released as a means to silence her!

??

wait, how does releasing a sex tape have anything-even-remotely-conceivable to do with silencing someone? that makes zero sense. if anything, it brings you and your i-hate-gay-marriage free-speech-enabled mouth back into the spotlight, you twit. and, call me crazy but...YOU'RE ON THE TODAY SHOW BECAUSE OF YOUR SEX TAPE. what silence?

but she loves the lord and he excludes her skin showmanship as sin because carrie is a model (did models exist bc? must have...) and, duh again, that video was private between her and her boyfriend-at-the-time! she's totally in the clear.

and, carrie wants the right to free speech, as long as she's doing the talking. when gays and lesbians or liberals debate her pocket-padding stance on gay marriage...well she's being palin-ized! it's not fair! stop being mean!

omg prejean, you're going to be so embarrassed when you finally become an adult and look back at your complete stupidity.

i bet her book still standing is a really good read. just kidding of course. the book is trash, carrie prejean is trash, and every thought in her head is 1) airy and 2) trash.

carrie prejean you are the weakest link. goodbye.

fave spam email of the day: from: edna volino subj: behold her beautiful bunghole!

(thank you "edna" for bringing back bunghole. i haven't heard that terminology since the beavis and butthead days. ahhh, memories)

i find this funny:

i hate to mention youtube again, but i like to watch choreography videos on the tube. i love every aspect of it: the gym setting, the camera focused on the mirror, the dancers rendition of britney songs, the people sitting around and watching...it's all so fascinating. in a weird way.

anyway, what's best about these videos is the dancers' clothing choices. it's almost like...if you're a dancer - you pick the weirdest clothes to dance in. especially the guys. it's always like huge sweaters and sweatpants or capris and converse hightops or cutoff t's with leggings underneath...my personal fave being a hoodie with the hood up.

and nothing ever matches. if you're wearing red on top, you're wearing bright purple sweats or a horizontal striped t with plaid boxers.

...and don't even get me started on the knee highs for girls. what do they do?!?!

it's all so wonderfully awful. but still so wonderful.

hey yall.

guess who i'm mad at? youtube.

yep. good ol'youtube...typically my best friend on planet earh, but today, well today we're in a megabitch fight.

think YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US!

as you might have heard in my latest vlog...youtube and wmg (warner music group...i think?) banned together and took a video of mine off air because of copyright infringement. which is ridiculous...because that's what all of youtube is. so little of it is straight up original content.

anyway, i noticed on my youtube account that a LOT of my videos are tagged for possible copyright issues...but so far only one has been taken down.

this makes me upset. i'm considering moving to vimeo or something like that. i think blogger also supports a video feature that i'll consider.

it's a shame though, because, like i said before, i love youtube. i spend a lot of time on youtube and i love the youtube community. there's so much good stuff there...

BUT

i won't tolerate ridiculousness. i'm not claiming to be britney spears (and certainly not scarjo) nor am i claiming that any of her songs were written by yours truly. same with all the other songs. (and as if i have the talent to pen something as genius and creative as 3?! puhlease.) i don't get it. if anything - it's free publicity for cryin out loud. c'mon you legal muckity-mucks...use your marketing brain. i realize they're two entirely different spheres of the brain, but hello there are big bucks to be made and these silly actions of yours aren't padding your wallets. be reasonable for five seconds. and then take me out to dinner as an apology!

i like my steak medium rare.

but anyway, stay tuned. will i stay tubed?

eek.

here's what a real friend isn't:

a real friend isn't a person who believes in payback.
sometimes you just give.

a real friend isn't a person who agrees with you all the time.
especially when your outfit isn't quite right.

a real friend isn't a person whom you can only tolerate when drinking or drunk.
nor should you learn more about them 3 beers in, rather than over tea.

a real friend isn't a person who dates your exes.
there's far too many people in this world.

a real friend isn't a person who has a secret.
from you or about you.

a real friend isn't a person who hasn't met your family.
they are your family.

a real friend isn't a person who would let you make a mistake without at least saying something.
"you have something on your face."

a real friend isn't a person who turns a blind eye.
call them out.

a real friend isn't a person who isn't there.
be there.

a real friend isn't a person who doesn't care.
care.

a real friend is a person, your person, who cares about you above themself.
i know that takes a lot.
a real friend requires a lot.
of you.

i have a lot of friends, but i have few real friends.
which is fine.

but it's important to know the difference.

ok, help a brotha out...what is with all of the hoopla about ryan seacrest having a stalker? don't all celebrities have stalkers of some sort or another?

of course they do. i mean, sometimes i get starstruck by seeing the chicago news anchor people in the streets.

omg that's nbc chicago 5's anchorwoman allison rosati! in a walgreens of all places?! look at her trying to choose a bag of chips. i like cool ranch doritos, too! i could see us being friends. i wonder where she lives?

so, just imagine if it were a bonafied celebrity, how much ones interests would be piqued? probably enough to follow them home, jump the gate, pick the lock, tiptoe down the hall, hide in the linen closet when you hear them coming, peak through the crack to see if the coast is clear, and if so, run out the back door with some of their jewelry/hair samples in tow.

that's what i would do. if i were a stalker.

but boy would times have to be tough for anyone to find the need to stalk ryan seacrest.

but i must say that while i absolutely loathe ryan seacrest, i would never wish a stalker upon him. maybe just an anvil, like in the old timey looney tunes cartoons where it would drop from the sky, land on seacrest with a big BAM!, and then seacrest would take the humanly form of an accordion and wobble around for a little bit going eeee aaaaaaaaa eeeeee aaaaaa eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

but the real question begs to be asked: is seacrest talking to the media about his stalker in an attempt to glorify himself as stalker-worthy?

me thinks so.

he needs the attention: when idol isn't on, who gives a bleep about ryan seacrest other than maybe the kardashians (which he owns) and maybe, just maybe taylor swift?

nobody.

but perhaps i would stalk ryan seacrest...if it meant that he had to go in permanent hiding and could never be seen, heard, or allowed to interact with mankind ever again.

i'm a giver.

fave spam email of the day: you think goat sare sexxxy? me 2. click here2 enter the barnyardd.

ok, so i know i've mentioned this everywhere my emotions are available online...but, i watched twilight for the first time and have since found myself thinking about it ALL THE TIME. wait...before i say any more let me state that i don't believe the movie, as a whole, was that earthshattering. while i really enjoyed it, if you look at it from the script's point-of-view, well, it was kind of...simple, and other times unintentionally funny. i mean, those scenes where rpat is moving extra fast? the baseball stuff? ...the makeup (their faces and necks were two different colors!)

kinda ridiculous. someone should have been fired.

but, there's just something so moving about raw intensity, passion and love that....wow, i don't know, it was just spot on in this movie. i felt it! even months and months and months behind schedule with viewing this movie, i finally got it. so this is why people are obsessed with rpat and bella.

lets be honest though - it's been done before - a la the notebook, where you can just feel the chemistry and attraction between the two lovebirds...but the difference with twilight is that it has vampires (sexy!) and is much shorter (thank you jesus). and i also loved rpat's role in protecting bella and being like...welp, we're together for life now and nothing will ever harm you. yes!

I LOVE THAT.

great movie. and i realized new moon is coming out soon...perfect timing, i'm so fresh off the high!...but if you know me you know that i won't be at the theaters on opening day. nuhuh, homey don't do frenzied crowds, especially those consisting of teenage girls. (i did it once for an american idol concert and that's a mistake you make only once.)

anyway, im not anywhere close to the batshit insanity other twilighters exhibit...but after the hysteria calms i will see it over thanksgiving weekend and will happily go through the emotions all over again.

i'm single, what do i have to lose?

long story short: i'm pretty much obsessed with all things twilight and will be scouring the internet for mall appearances where the new moon cast will be appearing.

jk.

or am i? today i watched twilight for the second time, not even 24 hours since the first time i viewed it. my excuse being that the second time i watched the movie it was with my mom. and she's normally a hard sell (aka she always falls asleep not even 20 minutes into a movie, regardless of content, just like yours truly) but she too managed to stay awake the whole time and was completely caught up in this shizz. so don't judge me!

AM I ONE OF THOSE FREAK TWILIGHT PEOPLE NOW??? you know, the ones you see on tv that FLIP SHIT about all things rpat and twilight and vampirish?

i just might be. oops!

GUILTY! lock me up.

happy halloween! and thank you jc for brach's candy pumpkins. amen.

as i mentioned in yesterday's post, apparently there's a football team called the kansas city chiefs and apparently there's a football player named larry johnson who apparently plays for them. until recently, none of this information was on my radar.

but, larry johnson was suspended from playing football due to a gay slur escapade he went on during nfl time and on nfl property.

larry johnson has since apologized to his fans for "letting them down" but made no mention of expressing regret toward the gay men and women he actually offended. nice guy, huh! the real breaking news is that larry's lawyer is appealing the nfl's decision to suspend johnson, saying in his defense:

"we know the n word is unacceptable, that's not disputable -- but f*g? I'm learning that there's a segment of our society that finds it offensive and that it should not be used. I didn't realize that, but I do know now..."

case-in-point of yesterday's blog: the n word is completely off limits (and isn't it a coincidence that larry johnson is black?!) but the f word is fair game? and in all fairness, he didn't realize it was offensive to anyone.

(?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?)

not all is lost though, thank god he finally learned about that "segment" of society that finds it to be a big no-no. why didn't someone tell him earlier? for all he knows, he could have made the f word his son's middle name! oops! that was a close one!

i mean, he's just a lawyer, he can't know everything, geez. his townhouse is located under a rock for crying out loud! cut the man some slack...

honestly, i didn't want to write this blog post...mostly because, no matter what i say, the situation is beyond my control. as most things are. i'm just one voice amid millions.

but since when did that stop me? never. so, here's what i have to say:

i refuse to live in an uneducated society. i guess that's why i always prefer to live in a city setting where a dynamic, open mindset almost always trumps the uninformed and close minded. i also refuse to live in a society that clings to their guns while memorizing bible passages. to me, discussion, awareness, and progression (none of which has to be secular) is what educates us as a people. we've come a long way in the field of education and evolution: the world is round and santa claus is not real. since these major realizations, some of us have stopped limiting our education. but, while we have indeed come a long way there's still a long way to go...for some of us...those of us without pitchforks (mondern day political signs) and on-demand-bible-verse.

that being said, let's talk about two words: n & f.

the n word - we all know what it is and dislike what it stands for. well, some of us do. personally, i would never, ever, in a million years use the n word. not in a joke, not in a gchat, not anywhere. never. it's just a word is a common response. but words have meaning. which is why the it's just a word bullshit doesn't work. if we used words that didn't have meaning...well, we wouldn't be communicating then, would we? meaningless words equate to jibberish or silence. but, regarding the standard sender-receiver level of communication, you cannot communicate a word without imparting some level of meaning or definition. it's impossible.

ok, back to the n word, my point being that society largely condemns the use of the n word. why it ever was penned in the first place (fear of the unknown - very common among white, christian land owners) is greatly disturbing. but since the (recent) dawning of equality, which now includes some minorities, we all know why the n word is off limits. we simply know better. use of the n word could destroy your entire life. you could lose your job, your reputation, respect, credibility. if none of that matters to you, well, regardless, use of the n word will automatically set you apart from society. forever you will be deemed a racist, no matter how much you apologize. you might not care that you're a racist, but you still are one.

but what's funny is that, as we all know, some people use the n word freely: black people use it all the time. according to whoopi goldberg, a la the view, black people own the n word and use it as a sense of freedom from it.

...whatever that means.

i don't agree with this mentality nor will i try to understand it, because apparently you have to be black to understand. i'm white, so what's the use? i'll just be an educated and respectful human being and choose not to use it, regardless of whoopi whipping out her race card (in case you didn't know, inscribed on the race card is "advance to go and collect $200!"

lucky whoopi. inscribed on my card is "you owe rent on st. charles place. $140."

fuck.

and then there's the f word. not fuck, no no...i obviously use that word all the time, freely. i'm talking about the gay slur. yes, that one. to me, the f word is much more interesting than the n word - only because the f word is completely fair game (somehow). despite the fact that the f word reflects an unending amount of ridicule, oppression, violence, and emasculation directly and specifically toward gay men...we, as a society, for some reason still use it. openly. all the time. the f word is said openly in conversation among everyday folk. no harm, no foul. the f word is always the punchline in a joke, gets big laughs on cable television and in the movies. it's funny, right? kids use it as a jab, as a means to tell billy he's not as tough as he thinks he is.

but to me, it's not funny at all. its not ordinary language. it's not harmless. to me, it's a derogatory word that invokes negative and hostile emotion. people use the f word to degrade homosexuals or the notion of homosexuality in the very same way the n word degrades the african american race. yet, unlike african americans, we as an "educated" people are allowed to degrade homosexuals by using this silly, little f word. in ignorant defense, somewhere in the bible apparently, it says homosexuality is an abomination. oops. so, those lovely, lovely do-gooders we call christians (aka the american majority) are therefore completely free, perhaps morally obligated, to hate, degrade, and demean those men that, keyword, choose to go against god's will by being homosexuals. so using the f word is fair game. i mean, if sinners are fallen angels, then homosexuals are obvious sinners therefore are fallen angels (and by fallen i mean they kerplunk straight to hell), therefore homosexuals are indeed f words. and god hates them! makes sense to me! start teaching that to your kids!

i don't mean to isolate christians as the sole perpetrators of the f word - plenty of straight guys, kids, and other forms of uneducated people use the f word, too. it's almost the same as, you know how christmas and easter are rightfully celebrated by christians, yet everyone else such as the sort-of-religious or not-at-all religious celebrate it too...minus the whole jc aspect? funny, right? instead of jc, they just add in their own deities like a red suit, a sleigh, some eggs, and a rabbit. same diff! so, you don't have to be religious to use the f word...ignorance is bliss, so everybody join in! but most times it stems back to the christians, the founders of this place we call the land of the free.

anyway, the ignorant side of me also wants to believe that...hey, if everyone can use the f word openly, because it's no big deal, then why can't we use the n word? hey larry johnson of the kansas city chiefs, while you're going around in fits of rage calling people the f word, i'm gonna go around and start calling people the n-word whenever i'm equally as mad!

luckily i'm not that stupid or ignorant, although i must admit i find it incredibly interesting whenever i hear black people use the f word, or have a general not-OK viewpoint on glbt issues. it's a sad day whenever a minority turns on a fellow minority.

i also thought it was funny when fans of larry johnson were quoted as saying "hey, leave larry johnson alone, free speech is his first amendment right!"

i bet michael richards wishes he had such backing...but somehow his hate rant was not in line with the first amendment...somehow. i'll need the hate transcripts, the us constitution, and some scooby snacks to figure this one out.

anyway, my long winded point is this: the f word stings just as much as the n word. these words hurt, they persecute, and they serve no purpose other than to destroy someone's self worth. is that something you feel comfortable doing? you shouldn't.

these words aren't necessary anymore, they aren't owned by those whom they disenfranchise, and they certainly aren't funny.

stop using them.

let's progress as humans, not as uneducated, bible-toting hatemongers. put down your pitchforks, bibles, and prejudices and raise up your vocabulary. raise up your tolerance.

peace.

first, a shout out to tlaloc because his poppedtarts blog post about the ice skating bear made me laugh out loud unintentionally. i love animals just as much as you and I was so enraged by the shenanigans of those people and felt extremely sorry for the victim (the bear). but it was the tyra line at the end that had me rollin. mostly because when i read it i automatically put it into my inner-tyra voice and that, in itself, is totally hilar. thanks t.

secondly, i'm considering buying a home. omg.

third, can i please repeat how much i loathe halloween. idiots in costumes are everywhere and it's not even halloween yet. and, halloween enthusiasts, just because you're costumed doesn't give you the right to be annoying to strangers. yes, i'm talking to you, glenda the good witch, who was sitting next to me on the bus, then tapped me on my head with her witch wand saying that she *poof* will make me smile with her magical powers.

a) striking me with a blunt object is considered assault every day of the week, including halloween, and b) i will not smile because you're an ahole.

and last, but not least, i will be making a v-log this weekend so stay tuned!

how fantastic would i feel if i had full hair, makeup, photoshopping, and a high-end fashion budget? probably like a million bucks! oh to be a celebrity.

i don't have any of the above. so whenever i'm on film, chances are not all of my angles will be flattering, my hair will be unruly, and my appearance horrific.

but that's what makes me who i am.

human.

and i celebrate being ugly and unkempt in this video. i watch it whenever i feel caught up.