Quite possibly the most ridiculous news article I have ever read in my entire life. For those of you who don't wish to read it, the author basically states that we need to look at the flaws, errors, and misjudgements of other individuals with compassion and understanding, as opposed to judgement and hostility.
Excuse me, but I'm going to stray from the norm for just a sec, OK? Mr. Peter Bregman...um, I can see why you might not be so miffed about this situation because you, your wife and children are probably not affected by too many injustices right now, but you know what...a lot of us are. You're a first class citizen. But, speaking on behalf of the second class, there are plenty of us that beg to differ with your rose-colored perception of American life. (This Sunday marks the 40th anniversary of Stonewall and it was only 42 years ago that the Supreme Court ruled in favor of interracial marriage.)
Bregman: "I am not saying that Sanford shouldn't be held accountable. He should. But we should hold him accountable with compassion, not with anger. With understanding not with pitchforks. With the recognition that if we were closer to the situation, to the people involved, we would understand the complexity. And there's always complexity."
Pitchforks? Try telling that to a gay man, i.e. Stonewall. I'm sure you'll find little to no empathy concerning "understanding complexities." Plus, there are many, many complexities that plague our nation that are easily and swiftly ruled out, overlooked by the likes of Gov. Sanford and the Republican party. Hypocritical? I think so.
Don't get me wrong, in some way he's right. In an ideal world, his article reflects a respectable philosophy. And, in most cases, I would definitely employ that train of thought when dealing with others.
But we don't live in an ideal world. And America is far from an ideal country. But the real point is that this olive branch article concerns S.C. Gov. Mark Sanford, the slimeball that vehemently opposes gay marriage for its alleged lack of family values, and even goes as far to not supporting civil unions. Yet, Gov. Sanford just left the country in secrecy to shack up with some "friend" in Argentina, all while his wife and four children play Chutes and Ladders and eat peanut brittle in the Governor's mansion. Who wants some more Ovaltine!?
Like I said before, political leaders are given the unique power of speaking their own beliefs into existence, via law and regulation, thereby potentially limiting the will and desires of their constituents. And, according to Peter Bregman, when these leaders decide to have a personal life, and for whatever reason decide to have affairs, do drugs, have illicit relations in airport bathrooms, and other assorted illegal and morally-questionable activities...it's fine. No big deal. They made a mistake. Don't judge them, they're weak!
Then get the fuck out of office.
When you're a person of political power, you have a lot to live up to. You are no longer just Jo Shmoe. You are no longer just a weak person. You are no longer misguided in your social and professional commitments. You ran for your office on a platform that you are better, whether it be professionaly, morally, socially, whatever, but you ran on a campaign of being better than a lot of other people.
Whoops.
Simply put: politicians of the US, you better have your shit together because you and all your friends are determining my future. And I have every right to be mad when you fuck it up. You're going to tell your constituents one thing, and then do another? And I'm supposed to be OK with that?
Not going to happen.
Gov. Mark Sanford is an adulterer, a hypocrite, and a complete embarrassment. Step down, stop crying (because you know you're not sorry, otherwise you would have never made that 10 hour flight to South America while your state is under the impression that you're hiking the Appalachians) and cower in shame. It's almost laughable, but it isn't at the same time because this is the Governor of an entire state. South Carolina should be embarrassed. And they should be mad.
If you want compassion, go talk to Tammy Faye Baker.
Now this article is amazing and dead-on. And shock me, shock me...it's practically written by the public!?
My favorite part: "wmboyd suggested, New GOP Amendment to the Constitution: Marriage should be between a man and 2 women."
Perfect.
6.25.2009
Dear GOP,
I would like to take this opportunity to personally thank the Republican party for, once again, boldly exemplifying to the American public (as well as the American family) concerning what the real meaning of "marriage" is actually about. Your constant struggle and defiance of Prop 8, civil liberties regarding marriage laws and equal rights, civil unions, adoption rights, gay rights, etc., are soundly justified via a growing list of admirable political figures and leaders, such as South Carolina's Gov. Mark Sanford, on a near daily basis.
Simply put--you're completely right. A marriage should only be defined as a union between a man and a woman, as evidenced in a threefold manner: 1) by the strong moral conviction of the American public concerning the sanctity of marriage (regardless of those pesky national divorce rates as well as increasing domestic violence and homicide rates), 2) the ever-evolving occurences of extramarital affair scandals among our nation's state and federal leaders, aka, the decision-makers, but most of all because 3) that's what God intended, right? And who better to decipher God's words than our Senators, Governors, Mayors, and Presidents (aka our Christian brothers and sisters). They're close enough in power and significance to dictate our nation's moral compass, right? Of course they are, why else would they be in power? AND, without doubt, Gov. Sanford, et. all, has humbly demonstrated that only a functioning, safe, and normal family can only be comprised of (exclusively between) a father figure and a mother figure...nothing less and nothing more. Anything outside that scenario is plain ridiculous and harmful. Obviously, two Dads or two Moms is an absurd idea, surely the morbid daydream of some pedophiliac, devil-worshipping pervert, aka homosexual.
Gays and marriage, puhlease. No way. It's bad enough they can get jobs so easily.
Look at me, getting completely off tangent here. Anyway, back to glorifying the Republican standard of decency and tradition--Governor Sanford has truly captured the time-honored ideals of a real "family unit." What, with his four smiling children, a devoted wife by (near) his side--they're practically a poster family for the American dream; all the while effortlessly strengthening the core dynamic between a husband and his wife, a father and his children. There is no greater image in God's eyes. And surely the big JC winces whenever he looks at Rosie O'Donnell.
Ugh.
Regardless, your unshakable role in preserving traditional family values has, once again, validated in stone the inarguable reasons why both a marriage and a family can only be defined (and protected) when between a man and woman. Tis true perfection.
Congrats, and God bless.
ryansumner
PS. Barf.
I would like to take this opportunity to personally thank the Republican party for, once again, boldly exemplifying to the American public (as well as the American family) concerning what the real meaning of "marriage" is actually about. Your constant struggle and defiance of Prop 8, civil liberties regarding marriage laws and equal rights, civil unions, adoption rights, gay rights, etc., are soundly justified via a growing list of admirable political figures and leaders, such as South Carolina's Gov. Mark Sanford, on a near daily basis.
Simply put--you're completely right. A marriage should only be defined as a union between a man and a woman, as evidenced in a threefold manner: 1) by the strong moral conviction of the American public concerning the sanctity of marriage (regardless of those pesky national divorce rates as well as increasing domestic violence and homicide rates), 2) the ever-evolving occurences of extramarital affair scandals among our nation's state and federal leaders, aka, the decision-makers, but most of all because 3) that's what God intended, right? And who better to decipher God's words than our Senators, Governors, Mayors, and Presidents (aka our Christian brothers and sisters). They're close enough in power and significance to dictate our nation's moral compass, right? Of course they are, why else would they be in power? AND, without doubt, Gov. Sanford, et. all, has humbly demonstrated that only a functioning, safe, and normal family can only be comprised of (exclusively between) a father figure and a mother figure...nothing less and nothing more. Anything outside that scenario is plain ridiculous and harmful. Obviously, two Dads or two Moms is an absurd idea, surely the morbid daydream of some pedophiliac, devil-worshipping pervert, aka homosexual.
Gays and marriage, puhlease. No way. It's bad enough they can get jobs so easily.
Look at me, getting completely off tangent here. Anyway, back to glorifying the Republican standard of decency and tradition--Governor Sanford has truly captured the time-honored ideals of a real "family unit." What, with his four smiling children, a devoted wife by (near) his side--they're practically a poster family for the American dream; all the while effortlessly strengthening the core dynamic between a husband and his wife, a father and his children. There is no greater image in God's eyes. And surely the big JC winces whenever he looks at Rosie O'Donnell.
Ugh.
Regardless, your unshakable role in preserving traditional family values has, once again, validated in stone the inarguable reasons why both a marriage and a family can only be defined (and protected) when between a man and woman. Tis true perfection.
Congrats, and God bless.
ryansumner
PS. Barf.
6.23.2009
Furthering my point...
Perez wasn't assaulted. Violence is never the answer, yes yes...but sometimes a punch in the face/black eye is well-deserved. It's a scarlet letter. It's as old school as behind the bleacher showdowns. It's a fact of life, well, at least for those who have it coming.
If I were to see a guy walking down the street with a black eye, I would automatically assume "douchebag." Why? Because when people are punched in the face, it's usually due to a war of words that escalates into a fight. Predictable, seen it a thousand times. We all know people who (and I feel like a 13 yr. old girl when I say this) run their mouth. They talk the talk because they can. Right to free speech. Can't touch me, that's assault, brotha.
Whatever.
Bullying or talking down is a tactic used by the weak. Bullies like Perez Hilton, who start a war of words, online assaults, cyber-scandal...bullies like that? They're physically weak, mentally weak, or emotionally weak. Calling names, he said/she said, mean words, expose...it's simply the ammo he has, and he uses it daily for his own agenda i.e., $$$. What's worse is using hate speech, and, for some reason, Perez did just that. I'm not surprised, but greatly disappointed. When you use hate speech against someone, you're automatically in the wrong. There's no excuse, no way out. Rightfully, hate speech almost always invokes an emotional reaction...which is exactly what a bully wants. A reaction.
Sometimes the victims (and yes, the counterpart of this situation is a victim, of some sort) must peruse the cliche ultimatum of fight or flight. Both are reactions. If it were me, I would choose fight. While I've never been in an actual fight with anyone, I could see myself in a situation where, if I had to choose between the two, I would choose fight. Stand up for yourself.
This is what happened between Perez and BEP. Perez is a bully. All he does is "talk." Attack, verbally assault, harass, whatever you want to call it. That's the name of his game: talking the talk. We all know that Perez is vicious, unapologetic, unintelligent, and completely immature. While he touts a "I would never hit anyone" morale, he apparently has no qualm with defamation, verbal abuse, exploitation, and public humiliation. Perez calls people fat, ugly, retarded, slutty, balding, fag, idiot...he pokes fun at their family members, even calling their children ugly. He's the first one to expose any secret or private information you might have, and is certainly the last one to apologize for any of it.
Gotta love him for it? No, you don't. At all...
He was punched in the face for having called Will.I.am a "faggot" and he received exactly what he deserved: a nice, direct wallop. Right to the eye. Congrats to whomever threw it, too. Next time, though-harder. Knock him out.
Maybe then he'll stop attacking others?
Sometimes, you deserve to be hit in the face. Sometimes it's exactly what you need. Perez, you're a man, aren't you? Capable of defending yourself? If you want to be mean and nasty to others, expect others to be mean and nasty to you. Punishment isn't always going to come in the form of a put down or harsh criticism. Sometimes it's going to be a fist. And I bet a LOT of people have no problem with that. Sometimes a black eye is the answer.
Yes, we should be protected from harm and malice by the hands of others. BUT, there is a difference here. In life, their is consequence. Perez persecutes and belittles individuals on a routine, daily basis. He has verbally assaulted people for 5 years now, as he so proudly proclaims. One punch in the face? One black eye? That's it? That's all he's received after all of his direct verbal assaults onto others?
You should have received two black eyes. Maybe even a broken nose. Sometimes, you have it coming. This is not the same as a drive-by shooting, this is not lethal assault, God is not looking down at the BEP saying "shame on you, Will.I.am!"
He's probably saying, "Hells to the yeah."
QUIT READING PEREZ HILTON. Just a reminder. He's filth. His work is filth. It's a filthy business. Be done with it.
Sidenote: CNN is airing Perez's reaction video after that fateful blow. It's hilarious. A) He looks like some sort of man-baby-thing. B) He references God shaming Will.I.am (hilarious) C) He wraps things up by calling Will.I.am a "fucking motherfucker" and Fergie a "fugly bitch."
The maturity of this entire situation is overwhelming.
Perez wasn't assaulted. Violence is never the answer, yes yes...but sometimes a punch in the face/black eye is well-deserved. It's a scarlet letter. It's as old school as behind the bleacher showdowns. It's a fact of life, well, at least for those who have it coming.
If I were to see a guy walking down the street with a black eye, I would automatically assume "douchebag." Why? Because when people are punched in the face, it's usually due to a war of words that escalates into a fight. Predictable, seen it a thousand times. We all know people who (and I feel like a 13 yr. old girl when I say this) run their mouth. They talk the talk because they can. Right to free speech. Can't touch me, that's assault, brotha.
Whatever.
Bullying or talking down is a tactic used by the weak. Bullies like Perez Hilton, who start a war of words, online assaults, cyber-scandal...bullies like that? They're physically weak, mentally weak, or emotionally weak. Calling names, he said/she said, mean words, expose...it's simply the ammo he has, and he uses it daily for his own agenda i.e., $$$. What's worse is using hate speech, and, for some reason, Perez did just that. I'm not surprised, but greatly disappointed. When you use hate speech against someone, you're automatically in the wrong. There's no excuse, no way out. Rightfully, hate speech almost always invokes an emotional reaction...which is exactly what a bully wants. A reaction.
Sometimes the victims (and yes, the counterpart of this situation is a victim, of some sort) must peruse the cliche ultimatum of fight or flight. Both are reactions. If it were me, I would choose fight. While I've never been in an actual fight with anyone, I could see myself in a situation where, if I had to choose between the two, I would choose fight. Stand up for yourself.
This is what happened between Perez and BEP. Perez is a bully. All he does is "talk." Attack, verbally assault, harass, whatever you want to call it. That's the name of his game: talking the talk. We all know that Perez is vicious, unapologetic, unintelligent, and completely immature. While he touts a "I would never hit anyone" morale, he apparently has no qualm with defamation, verbal abuse, exploitation, and public humiliation. Perez calls people fat, ugly, retarded, slutty, balding, fag, idiot...he pokes fun at their family members, even calling their children ugly. He's the first one to expose any secret or private information you might have, and is certainly the last one to apologize for any of it.
Gotta love him for it? No, you don't. At all...
He was punched in the face for having called Will.I.am a "faggot" and he received exactly what he deserved: a nice, direct wallop. Right to the eye. Congrats to whomever threw it, too. Next time, though-harder. Knock him out.
Maybe then he'll stop attacking others?
Sometimes, you deserve to be hit in the face. Sometimes it's exactly what you need. Perez, you're a man, aren't you? Capable of defending yourself? If you want to be mean and nasty to others, expect others to be mean and nasty to you. Punishment isn't always going to come in the form of a put down or harsh criticism. Sometimes it's going to be a fist. And I bet a LOT of people have no problem with that. Sometimes a black eye is the answer.
Yes, we should be protected from harm and malice by the hands of others. BUT, there is a difference here. In life, their is consequence. Perez persecutes and belittles individuals on a routine, daily basis. He has verbally assaulted people for 5 years now, as he so proudly proclaims. One punch in the face? One black eye? That's it? That's all he's received after all of his direct verbal assaults onto others?
You should have received two black eyes. Maybe even a broken nose. Sometimes, you have it coming. This is not the same as a drive-by shooting, this is not lethal assault, God is not looking down at the BEP saying "shame on you, Will.I.am!"
He's probably saying, "Hells to the yeah."
QUIT READING PEREZ HILTON. Just a reminder. He's filth. His work is filth. It's a filthy business. Be done with it.
Sidenote: CNN is airing Perez's reaction video after that fateful blow. It's hilarious. A) He looks like some sort of man-baby-thing. B) He references God shaming Will.I.am (hilarious) C) He wraps things up by calling Will.I.am a "fucking motherfucker" and Fergie a "fugly bitch."
The maturity of this entire situation is overwhelming.
6.22.2009
As if the movie UP wasn't one of the most depressing animated films I've seen in a long time, this news article is pretty much the saddest thing I've read in a long time. I guess it doesn't help that I was listening to Andrew Bird's Section 8 City while reading it.
Anyway, heartbreaking story. I'm not sure what I took away from it...whether I feel happy that the dying child received her last wish, or saddened by the fact that the child's last living moments were spent watching (or being described) a movie. Both sides of the tale are incredibly sad, so I guess there's no way around this one.
On a sidenote, while many people looooved Up, I found it to be pretty depressing. Yes, it has great imagery and was beautifully done...but I couldn't help but be overwhelmingly saddened by the thought of growing old, being alone, and not fulfilling my own, personal agendas before it's too late.
Hmm..yeah, depressed again. Makes me think, "Hey Sumner, better start getting shit done now, as in right now, before you're geriatric and have to hire someone to change your diaper."
Lovely, huh?
Plus, the entire time I was watching the movie I was distracted by the thought that there weren't nearly enough strings tied to the fireplace considering how many balloons there were. That detail was greatly overlooked, Pixar.
Call me crazy.
i got yo crazy.
Anyway, heartbreaking story. I'm not sure what I took away from it...whether I feel happy that the dying child received her last wish, or saddened by the fact that the child's last living moments were spent watching (or being described) a movie. Both sides of the tale are incredibly sad, so I guess there's no way around this one.
On a sidenote, while many people looooved Up, I found it to be pretty depressing. Yes, it has great imagery and was beautifully done...but I couldn't help but be overwhelmingly saddened by the thought of growing old, being alone, and not fulfilling my own, personal agendas before it's too late.
Hmm..yeah, depressed again. Makes me think, "Hey Sumner, better start getting shit done now, as in right now, before you're geriatric and have to hire someone to change your diaper."
Lovely, huh?
Plus, the entire time I was watching the movie I was distracted by the thought that there weren't nearly enough strings tied to the fireplace considering how many balloons there were. That detail was greatly overlooked, Pixar.
Call me crazy.
i got yo crazy.
Let me be serious for a second. This isn't just an opinion...god knows I have TONS of them, good and bad. This goes a little deeper and its somewhat close to my heart for various reasons, be it as a writer, blogger, whatever...
But:
As a blogger and fellow human being, I find it a personal responsibility to write this post concerning the dangers of reading Perez Hilton and other celebrity gossip websites/rags. I also believe it completely necessary to say that I used to faithfully read Perez's blog and, at the same time, was inevitably busted reading my best friend's US Weekly every, single weekend while visiting him at his apartment. Information cocaine.
Yes, guilty.
Those days are over. Well, actually, those days have been over for awhile now. I stopped reading Perez Hilton over 8 months ago. Happy as ever, too. I literally will not go to his site, no matter the gravity of the "story" nor would I follow him on Twitter. Never. Here's my reasoning:
There's a lot going on in this world. So much that an endless realm of knowledge, worldly experience, and simple observation could be a full-time job for those interested in learning more. In varying professional facets, people are actually paid to observe the world, its intricacies, its common denominator, and subsequently the findings, results and revelations that you probably would never learn about otherwise. The possibility for enlightenment is absolutely endless. Even a newspaper relevant to your own city or hometown is an opportunity to learn about both the world and your own surroundings. Yet the newspaper is a dying breed. It's completely unfortunate. Read them. Even if it's not your local paper. Read dynamically. Headlines, Culture, OpEds, Reviews...learn everything outside of your bubble. It's much more interesting than Lady GaGa's CD. Trust me.
I've said a million times that my personal, forever-inspiring motto is "knowledge is power" because it's so very true. So very true. For me, there's no room for naiveté. I want to be-in-the-know, I want to grow from my findings, from your findings, I want people to tell me things--good, bad, ugly, and beautiful. It's all relative. When I move back to NYC, I'll have subscriptions to The New Yorker and the NY Times. I'll also continue my subscription to the Trib, The Huffington Post, and LA Times. And you gotta love that The Onion is free.99. Thank you, Onion peeps, for the free laugh. I'll also keep current my magazine subscriptions to Time (as well as GQ and Details...I gotta keep on top of moisturizers, fashion, and colognes, duhhh). These outlets provide insight, applicable to my interests but crucial in providing perspective and awareness of events outside of my own existence. Yes, the fact that I need to buy more paper towels is important, but so are the Tehran protests and North Korea's continuous disregard of Earth's other inhabitants.
Sorry, I escaped my point. The soapbox has been dismantled and used for kindling.
Perez Hilton and celebrity-related rags--this is where you stop. Magazines and such that report on the life and times of all that is celebrite are completely obnoxious. Invasive.
Perhaps just plain wrong.
Why do we buy into it? Who cares about who breaks up, who's fat, who's skinny, who's in a spat, oagle their bodies, their dogs, their baby bumps, their riches, their restaurant of choice...who cares?
I don't. And you shouldn't. Think about it:
What is it that makes you care? Boredom? I get that. It's a light read. You're waiting to get your teeth cleaned and have nothing else to look at. The pictures are glossy. Voyeurism is taboo. I get all of that. But, remember, there's a bigger picture you have to be aware of. Yourself. Your interests. Is it reflective? Reflect for a half second about the notion of having a vested interest in someone else's private life. An interest in a life that is so completely unrelated to yours, there's no common thread. No reason other than having a window into that world, peeking through the blinds while feeling both ashamed and intrigued? Is that the reason. Is that fair? Would you like someone to snap your picture mid-forkful of spinach salad? Of course not, you'd resemble a cow. Unless, by chance, you had a well-publicized eating disorder...and if that's the case, would you like a side-profile picture of you at the beach for the world to gawk at? Ridicule. Lessen the seriousness of the disease and instead heighten how freakishly horrible you look? Skinny bitch. Eat a hamburger! Ha Ha! Not funny. Do yourself a favor and turn the table: would you ever want a stranger (the world) to see you at your potential worst? Comment on your life? When you're down, when you're in trouble, when you're sick, when its something as stupid as a bad hair day or as serious as family or a relationship?
Probably not.
I certainly wouldn't. I refuse to pay money for it either. I refuse anyone who exploits such things to make money off my readership. Celeb-magazines, Perez, the paparazzi, the celebrity themselves...none of them are getting a dime of my dinero. Not for that. And they shouldn't get yours, either. Think about it.
Now, Perez. I have no words for this man. He profits (greatly) from you by writing nasty, ugly, hateful commentary, by posting paparazzi pictures, even posting leaked photos of sex scandals, i.e. Rihanna, Dustin Lance Black, etc. He outs closeted gay men and even straight men. Why? He ridicules celebrity children...those both in and not-in the spotlight. He writes as an advocate for gay rights, yet uses hate speech like faggot and employs a "my way or highway" discussion/resolution mentality. His opinion is drenched in materialism, ego, disrespect, and cynicism.
What's worst is that he doesn't even really do anything besides posting pictures. Are we that ADD? Perez is completely incapable of writing. Just shock-value headlines and quips. Immature drawings.
This is what you tune in for? Remember recess? Remember after school? It's your basic school yard scenario, cliche as ever: Perez is the bully and you're either the one getting ridiculed or perhaps you're one of the kids standing around, doing nothing about it. Sad. Grow up.
Considering such, why would anyone find his blog to be enjoyable? Do you really want to be a part of something so ugly? It's like looking at a car accident...yes, we all have a wandering, morbid curiosity. We like to look at stuff we know we shouldn't be. But, put it into perspective people. Perez Hilton writes about trivial, vain, unaffecting celebrity scandal. Isn't this person super ugly in this picture? Look at Britney's vagina! I love Rihanna, but here are some leaked photos of her nude! How do those headlines make you feel about yourself? Upset? Sad? Mad, even?
Let's stray from the emotional response and look at it objectively: it's information you don't need to know in order to remain current, to remain informed. Perez Hilton does not decide pop culture, nor is he an influence. His site is based upon rumor, hearsay, private emotion and struggle. His website is based on everything that is not your business, nor is it applicable to any facet of your life other than your need to feel better about yourself by reading/seeing the misfortunes of others. In other words, his website is shame-inducing guilty pleasure. If you can agree with that, you're on your first step to recovery.
Reevaluate yourself and your energies.
Use your energy to read something else...even if it has to be via the internets. Read CNN.com the next time you're online and bored. They have plenty of non-deep, pop culture-based articles that will satisfy your need for voyeurism, if that's the fill you're looking for. CNN talks about celebrities often, but from a less disrespectful, non-invasive perspective. Try the entertainment section of any credible news source.
Give it a try.
Stop reading Perez Hilton. I can't say it enough or more emphatically. Stop giving him money (every site visit is ad money in his pocket). Stop employing him to unapologetically represent everything that is so very wrong with this country. Don't be a part of that. Please.
Like I said, if anything, read CNN or MSNBC or a newspaper or ANYTHING that doesn't employ the paparazzi. Those people can get real jobs.
Celeb-obsession really needs to end. The glamour of defamation really needs to end. It really, really does. Let it start with you.
No more Perez. Unfollow Perez Hilton's Twitter, cancel your subscription to US, People, Star, The National Enquirer, whatever your poison may be.
Just stop.
But:
As a blogger and fellow human being, I find it a personal responsibility to write this post concerning the dangers of reading Perez Hilton and other celebrity gossip websites/rags. I also believe it completely necessary to say that I used to faithfully read Perez's blog and, at the same time, was inevitably busted reading my best friend's US Weekly every, single weekend while visiting him at his apartment. Information cocaine.
Yes, guilty.
Those days are over. Well, actually, those days have been over for awhile now. I stopped reading Perez Hilton over 8 months ago. Happy as ever, too. I literally will not go to his site, no matter the gravity of the "story" nor would I follow him on Twitter. Never. Here's my reasoning:
There's a lot going on in this world. So much that an endless realm of knowledge, worldly experience, and simple observation could be a full-time job for those interested in learning more. In varying professional facets, people are actually paid to observe the world, its intricacies, its common denominator, and subsequently the findings, results and revelations that you probably would never learn about otherwise. The possibility for enlightenment is absolutely endless. Even a newspaper relevant to your own city or hometown is an opportunity to learn about both the world and your own surroundings. Yet the newspaper is a dying breed. It's completely unfortunate. Read them. Even if it's not your local paper. Read dynamically. Headlines, Culture, OpEds, Reviews...learn everything outside of your bubble. It's much more interesting than Lady GaGa's CD. Trust me.
I've said a million times that my personal, forever-inspiring motto is "knowledge is power" because it's so very true. So very true. For me, there's no room for naiveté. I want to be-in-the-know, I want to grow from my findings, from your findings, I want people to tell me things--good, bad, ugly, and beautiful. It's all relative. When I move back to NYC, I'll have subscriptions to The New Yorker and the NY Times. I'll also continue my subscription to the Trib, The Huffington Post, and LA Times. And you gotta love that The Onion is free.99. Thank you, Onion peeps, for the free laugh. I'll also keep current my magazine subscriptions to Time (as well as GQ and Details...I gotta keep on top of moisturizers, fashion, and colognes, duhhh). These outlets provide insight, applicable to my interests but crucial in providing perspective and awareness of events outside of my own existence. Yes, the fact that I need to buy more paper towels is important, but so are the Tehran protests and North Korea's continuous disregard of Earth's other inhabitants.
Sorry, I escaped my point. The soapbox has been dismantled and used for kindling.
Perez Hilton and celebrity-related rags--this is where you stop. Magazines and such that report on the life and times of all that is celebrite are completely obnoxious. Invasive.
Perhaps just plain wrong.
Why do we buy into it? Who cares about who breaks up, who's fat, who's skinny, who's in a spat, oagle their bodies, their dogs, their baby bumps, their riches, their restaurant of choice...who cares?
I don't. And you shouldn't. Think about it:
What is it that makes you care? Boredom? I get that. It's a light read. You're waiting to get your teeth cleaned and have nothing else to look at. The pictures are glossy. Voyeurism is taboo. I get all of that. But, remember, there's a bigger picture you have to be aware of. Yourself. Your interests. Is it reflective? Reflect for a half second about the notion of having a vested interest in someone else's private life. An interest in a life that is so completely unrelated to yours, there's no common thread. No reason other than having a window into that world, peeking through the blinds while feeling both ashamed and intrigued? Is that the reason. Is that fair? Would you like someone to snap your picture mid-forkful of spinach salad? Of course not, you'd resemble a cow. Unless, by chance, you had a well-publicized eating disorder...and if that's the case, would you like a side-profile picture of you at the beach for the world to gawk at? Ridicule. Lessen the seriousness of the disease and instead heighten how freakishly horrible you look? Skinny bitch. Eat a hamburger! Ha Ha! Not funny. Do yourself a favor and turn the table: would you ever want a stranger (the world) to see you at your potential worst? Comment on your life? When you're down, when you're in trouble, when you're sick, when its something as stupid as a bad hair day or as serious as family or a relationship?
Probably not.
I certainly wouldn't. I refuse to pay money for it either. I refuse anyone who exploits such things to make money off my readership. Celeb-magazines, Perez, the paparazzi, the celebrity themselves...none of them are getting a dime of my dinero. Not for that. And they shouldn't get yours, either. Think about it.
Now, Perez. I have no words for this man. He profits (greatly) from you by writing nasty, ugly, hateful commentary, by posting paparazzi pictures, even posting leaked photos of sex scandals, i.e. Rihanna, Dustin Lance Black, etc. He outs closeted gay men and even straight men. Why? He ridicules celebrity children...those both in and not-in the spotlight. He writes as an advocate for gay rights, yet uses hate speech like faggot and employs a "my way or highway" discussion/resolution mentality. His opinion is drenched in materialism, ego, disrespect, and cynicism.
What's worst is that he doesn't even really do anything besides posting pictures. Are we that ADD? Perez is completely incapable of writing. Just shock-value headlines and quips. Immature drawings.
This is what you tune in for? Remember recess? Remember after school? It's your basic school yard scenario, cliche as ever: Perez is the bully and you're either the one getting ridiculed or perhaps you're one of the kids standing around, doing nothing about it. Sad. Grow up.
Considering such, why would anyone find his blog to be enjoyable? Do you really want to be a part of something so ugly? It's like looking at a car accident...yes, we all have a wandering, morbid curiosity. We like to look at stuff we know we shouldn't be. But, put it into perspective people. Perez Hilton writes about trivial, vain, unaffecting celebrity scandal. Isn't this person super ugly in this picture? Look at Britney's vagina! I love Rihanna, but here are some leaked photos of her nude! How do those headlines make you feel about yourself? Upset? Sad? Mad, even?
Let's stray from the emotional response and look at it objectively: it's information you don't need to know in order to remain current, to remain informed. Perez Hilton does not decide pop culture, nor is he an influence. His site is based upon rumor, hearsay, private emotion and struggle. His website is based on everything that is not your business, nor is it applicable to any facet of your life other than your need to feel better about yourself by reading/seeing the misfortunes of others. In other words, his website is shame-inducing guilty pleasure. If you can agree with that, you're on your first step to recovery.
Reevaluate yourself and your energies.
Use your energy to read something else...even if it has to be via the internets. Read CNN.com the next time you're online and bored. They have plenty of non-deep, pop culture-based articles that will satisfy your need for voyeurism, if that's the fill you're looking for. CNN talks about celebrities often, but from a less disrespectful, non-invasive perspective. Try the entertainment section of any credible news source.
Give it a try.
Stop reading Perez Hilton. I can't say it enough or more emphatically. Stop giving him money (every site visit is ad money in his pocket). Stop employing him to unapologetically represent everything that is so very wrong with this country. Don't be a part of that. Please.
Like I said, if anything, read CNN or MSNBC or a newspaper or ANYTHING that doesn't employ the paparazzi. Those people can get real jobs.
Celeb-obsession really needs to end. The glamour of defamation really needs to end. It really, really does. Let it start with you.
No more Perez. Unfollow Perez Hilton's Twitter, cancel your subscription to US, People, Star, The National Enquirer, whatever your poison may be.
Just stop.
6.19.2009
Apparently I have a lot of Canadian readers. What up, Canada...
I once traveled to the Canadian side of the Niagra Falls. That was my only venture in the great Northern wilderness, but I would like to go again. Not to the Niagra Falls...but to other Canadian hotspots. The French Canadian language is pretty, I think. Celine Dion's speaking voice is kind of irritating, so I'm 50/50 on it I guess.
Do I need a passport? I feel like I do...
If...you...ask me to. I just might change my miiiiiiiiiiiiind. And let you in my life foreverrrrrr.
I once traveled to the Canadian side of the Niagra Falls. That was my only venture in the great Northern wilderness, but I would like to go again. Not to the Niagra Falls...but to other Canadian hotspots. The French Canadian language is pretty, I think. Celine Dion's speaking voice is kind of irritating, so I'm 50/50 on it I guess.
Do I need a passport? I feel like I do...
If...you...ask me to. I just might change my miiiiiiiiiiiiind. And let you in my life foreverrrrrr.
6.18.2009
Eesh. So some peeps have been emailing and twittering at me about my last blog entry. Maybe I was a little harsh, but wait, was I?
I don't think so.
I have no problem with the iPhone. I think it's an amazing phone. Like I said before, I HAVE one. My only real problem is with the constant updating and reselling of the same exact phone, especially when it could have been perfected (or atleast inclusive of basic function and service) within its first debut. Apple is smart, people, they didn't accidentally overlook copy/paste or picture messaging. C'mon.
It's all a ploy, and you techie/Apple loving consumers go completely GAGA over it. Kinda weird, right? If you focused your time, energy, and MONEY on less frivolous things...you'd be better people. :)
Plus, AT&T really does suck. Verizon Wireless is where it's at, from what I hear.
Sorry for the offense peeps, but I guess in reality I'm not sorry...
I don't think so.
I have no problem with the iPhone. I think it's an amazing phone. Like I said before, I HAVE one. My only real problem is with the constant updating and reselling of the same exact phone, especially when it could have been perfected (or atleast inclusive of basic function and service) within its first debut. Apple is smart, people, they didn't accidentally overlook copy/paste or picture messaging. C'mon.
It's all a ploy, and you techie/Apple loving consumers go completely GAGA over it. Kinda weird, right? If you focused your time, energy, and MONEY on less frivolous things...you'd be better people. :)
Plus, AT&T really does suck. Verizon Wireless is where it's at, from what I hear.
Sorry for the offense peeps, but I guess in reality I'm not sorry...
6.17.2009
Remaining positive at all times is a personal, constant goal of mine.
Today I have fallen short.
Let's be real, shall we?
OK go:
-I tweeted about the iPhone earlier. Its annoying me. Yes, I once owned an iPhone. Actually, I still have it, I just don't use it. (AT&T service blows something serious.) I'm now the proud owner of a Blackberry (applause). Now, let me preface this entry with the fact that I think the iPhone is a fine product. It's good. I guess my issues lie with the iPhoners. You perfect consumers. You ADD-product whores. I'll expand upon that later. In the meantime, let me take this opportunity to say that, in my opinion, Apple has gone too far. Simply put: they're dicks. Smart, tricky dicks. My reasoning: their original iPhone product should (could easily) have inclusively provided both the 3G and 3GS features within the very first go-around of the iPhone concept stage, but for some reason, Apple has smartly rolled out these features through 3 (not 1, not 2, but 3) phones. $$$$$$$$ Are you kidding me? Are you all that stupid? COPY/PASTE? Uh, wasn't that concept conceived a million years ago? Apparently not, you gotta pay extra for that shit! (Think Oliver Twist, please sir, I want some more?) OK, the first iPhone (the one I have) was coined THE SMARTPHONE THAT ENDED ALL SMARTPHONES. Cool product, I admit, except it had some major flaws (no picture messaging, no GPS capabilities, etc). The thing is, these basic technologies undoubtedly existed at the concept of the original iPhone, easily, but somehow didn't make the cut? That seems impossible. Weirdly (as well as annoyingly), Apple then rolled out the iPhone 3G which provided better, faster service. Wow, thank you for providing a new generation of iPhoners with better phone service and internet speed while we original iPhoners settle for a defunct product. Muchas gracias. Muchas. Then, to further trump their own greedy, technological douchebaginess, Apple rolls out yet another iPhone with 3 new features: cut/paste, a compass, and the picture/video messaging crap (insert John Gosellin eye roll here).
PEOPLE OF THE WORLD: don't be stupid. (I realize it's too late for most of you.) This is exactly how they mass sell clone phones. It's not surprising, but very embarrassing to witness the startled, emphatic reactions of young consumers about the 3GS. Where can they slide their credit cards!?!? Gimme! (surprise, surprise, my generation and younger burn through money like no other). Money almost doesn't mean anything. Ugh. I don't think the arrival of Jesus Christ himself could generate as much buzz, interest, and cashflow as Apple products. The worst part is how easy it is for Apple to do this. In fact, you should just give them your money from now on. Yeah, that's the ticket...you all should just empty out your 401K (you probably don't even know what that is...(Wait, I'm supposed to save money for later? Never! Gimme that MacBook Air! It's so lightweight and completely retarded! I have to have it now!) and, instead, just put all monies into a savings account called "Ever Evolving Apple Shit." It's because of you that Apple endlessly mass markets and sells ever-evolving products i.e. "groundbreaking" products that are introduced, sold ($$$$$$), then smartly "updated" 6 months later for even more $$$$$$$$$$, then consequently sells its now deficient products to the desperate, technology-on-a-dime wannabe's (for even more $$$$$$$$$$).
Consumer: 0, Apple: Quadrillion
It's bullshit people. But it doesn't matter, does it? You're all too wrapped up in all those applications to notice anything happening outside of the iWorld. You all are a bunch of idiots that waste your money on the LATEST AND GREATEST because you can, you ADD-affected, materialistic, thoughtless, moneyless pieces of crap. Sorry, but you are. It's people like you that make the world a stupider, richer (in your personal case, poorer) place. Thanks for your vanity. Apple appreciates it.
And here I thought this current, massive recession and economic collapse would teach consumers how to be more responsible, to live within their means, to stop spending frivolously, and to make sound decisions, not give into impulsive, emotional reactions.
Nope, not the case here. Not even close. You iPhone 3GS'ers are all New Jersey housewives. Each and every one of you. Irresponsible, shameless, and distracted by shiny things. I'm embarrassed for you.
Also, gay men are some of the vainest men on Earth...and, coincidentally, in my opinion, they're undoubtedly the leading demographic of iPhone sales.
Weird...
Today I have fallen short.
Let's be real, shall we?
OK go:
-I tweeted about the iPhone earlier. Its annoying me. Yes, I once owned an iPhone. Actually, I still have it, I just don't use it. (AT&T service blows something serious.) I'm now the proud owner of a Blackberry (applause). Now, let me preface this entry with the fact that I think the iPhone is a fine product. It's good. I guess my issues lie with the iPhoners. You perfect consumers. You ADD-product whores. I'll expand upon that later. In the meantime, let me take this opportunity to say that, in my opinion, Apple has gone too far. Simply put: they're dicks. Smart, tricky dicks. My reasoning: their original iPhone product should (could easily) have inclusively provided both the 3G and 3GS features within the very first go-around of the iPhone concept stage, but for some reason, Apple has smartly rolled out these features through 3 (not 1, not 2, but 3) phones. $$$$$$$$ Are you kidding me? Are you all that stupid? COPY/PASTE? Uh, wasn't that concept conceived a million years ago? Apparently not, you gotta pay extra for that shit! (Think Oliver Twist, please sir, I want some more?) OK, the first iPhone (the one I have) was coined THE SMARTPHONE THAT ENDED ALL SMARTPHONES. Cool product, I admit, except it had some major flaws (no picture messaging, no GPS capabilities, etc). The thing is, these basic technologies undoubtedly existed at the concept of the original iPhone, easily, but somehow didn't make the cut? That seems impossible. Weirdly (as well as annoyingly), Apple then rolled out the iPhone 3G which provided better, faster service. Wow, thank you for providing a new generation of iPhoners with better phone service and internet speed while we original iPhoners settle for a defunct product. Muchas gracias. Muchas. Then, to further trump their own greedy, technological douchebaginess, Apple rolls out yet another iPhone with 3 new features: cut/paste, a compass, and the picture/video messaging crap (insert John Gosellin eye roll here).
PEOPLE OF THE WORLD: don't be stupid. (I realize it's too late for most of you.) This is exactly how they mass sell clone phones. It's not surprising, but very embarrassing to witness the startled, emphatic reactions of young consumers about the 3GS. Where can they slide their credit cards!?!? Gimme! (surprise, surprise, my generation and younger burn through money like no other). Money almost doesn't mean anything. Ugh. I don't think the arrival of Jesus Christ himself could generate as much buzz, interest, and cashflow as Apple products. The worst part is how easy it is for Apple to do this. In fact, you should just give them your money from now on. Yeah, that's the ticket...you all should just empty out your 401K (you probably don't even know what that is...(Wait, I'm supposed to save money for later? Never! Gimme that MacBook Air! It's so lightweight and completely retarded! I have to have it now!) and, instead, just put all monies into a savings account called "Ever Evolving Apple Shit." It's because of you that Apple endlessly mass markets and sells ever-evolving products i.e. "groundbreaking" products that are introduced, sold ($$$$$$), then smartly "updated" 6 months later for even more $$$$$$$$$$, then consequently sells its now deficient products to the desperate, technology-on-a-dime wannabe's (for even more $$$$$$$$$$).
Consumer: 0, Apple: Quadrillion
It's bullshit people. But it doesn't matter, does it? You're all too wrapped up in all those applications to notice anything happening outside of the iWorld. You all are a bunch of idiots that waste your money on the LATEST AND GREATEST because you can, you ADD-affected, materialistic, thoughtless, moneyless pieces of crap. Sorry, but you are. It's people like you that make the world a stupider, richer (in your personal case, poorer) place. Thanks for your vanity. Apple appreciates it.
And here I thought this current, massive recession and economic collapse would teach consumers how to be more responsible, to live within their means, to stop spending frivolously, and to make sound decisions, not give into impulsive, emotional reactions.
Nope, not the case here. Not even close. You iPhone 3GS'ers are all New Jersey housewives. Each and every one of you. Irresponsible, shameless, and distracted by shiny things. I'm embarrassed for you.
Also, gay men are some of the vainest men on Earth...and, coincidentally, in my opinion, they're undoubtedly the leading demographic of iPhone sales.
Weird...
6.16.2009
it has been a bit.
nyc was fun, made me realize quite a bit. mostly about how small i am. but, that's no real surprise.
i've been there many times before, but every time i go back, i feel a tad bit bigger. a tad more in control. a tad comfortable.
scary thought.
i feel like nyc is all circumstance. it's about opportunity. anything is possible. sheer magnitude. sheer need.
supply and demand.
but almost everything you need to succeed is on the top shelf, out of reach, sometimes just slightly out of grasp while other times the top shelf is like those at an ikea warehouse. completely out of reach and only remotely possible (plausible) by the mercy of those who control it.
hey nyc.
i have things to offer. i have more than you know. i see myself as completely unique but unabashedly naive. i think its a great combination:
not like peanut butter and jelly. i don't like that.
more like cheese and bread. grilled by the man.
oozing result.
oh you ny'ers. i seem them in the streets. looking cool. looking busy. looking for attention. looking right through me.
eventually passing by. not a pause to be had.
hi.
i'm not going to pretend to be an equally cool cat either. i'm actually quite far from it. and by far i mean FAR.
my fashion has never been top notch. my cultural experience limited.
my passport non-existent.
i impress few, but i endear many.
if anything, people compliment my smile. i'll take that,
thanks.
i know i have a lot to learn. and that's what i want to do.
to grow.
i need to be.
who i think i'm supposed to be. the ryan that only i know.
my eyes:
i need to see.
this life.
in action.
before i'm over myself.
and settle.
nyc was fun, made me realize quite a bit. mostly about how small i am. but, that's no real surprise.
i've been there many times before, but every time i go back, i feel a tad bit bigger. a tad more in control. a tad comfortable.
scary thought.
i feel like nyc is all circumstance. it's about opportunity. anything is possible. sheer magnitude. sheer need.
supply and demand.
but almost everything you need to succeed is on the top shelf, out of reach, sometimes just slightly out of grasp while other times the top shelf is like those at an ikea warehouse. completely out of reach and only remotely possible (plausible) by the mercy of those who control it.
hey nyc.
i have things to offer. i have more than you know. i see myself as completely unique but unabashedly naive. i think its a great combination:
not like peanut butter and jelly. i don't like that.
more like cheese and bread. grilled by the man.
oozing result.
oh you ny'ers. i seem them in the streets. looking cool. looking busy. looking for attention. looking right through me.
eventually passing by. not a pause to be had.
hi.
i'm not going to pretend to be an equally cool cat either. i'm actually quite far from it. and by far i mean FAR.
my fashion has never been top notch. my cultural experience limited.
my passport non-existent.
i impress few, but i endear many.
if anything, people compliment my smile. i'll take that,
thanks.
i know i have a lot to learn. and that's what i want to do.
to grow.
i need to be.
who i think i'm supposed to be. the ryan that only i know.
my eyes:
i need to see.
this life.
in action.
before i'm over myself.
and settle.
6.09.2009
the "newspaper" got me down
told me it was okay
perhaps cool
to not have a job, skip out of society.
"i needed a break anyway"
oh did you?
we all do.
you're going to stick it to the man
tell corporate america to buzz off
wait until you break your leg
chip a tooth
card declined
being lazy
it's not cool
you're not cool
don't sit on the beach and think you're enjoying yourself
you're not.
You're scared
bills mount
cash empties
anxiety high.
you feel guilty sleeping in,
watching judge judy.
and you don't know where to turn
except over
as you lay there
the clock says 2 pm
your mind says what am i going to do
help
me though?
reality check
paycheck
check and check
its how the world functions
i don't live to work
i work to live
because i have to
we all have to
well,
those of us, independent
no mommy daddy coattails
no inheritance
no strings attached.
we live
we work
and we find happiness
with what's left.
told me it was okay
perhaps cool
to not have a job, skip out of society.
"i needed a break anyway"
oh did you?
we all do.
you're going to stick it to the man
tell corporate america to buzz off
wait until you break your leg
chip a tooth
card declined
being lazy
it's not cool
you're not cool
don't sit on the beach and think you're enjoying yourself
you're not.
You're scared
bills mount
cash empties
anxiety high.
you feel guilty sleeping in,
watching judge judy.
and you don't know where to turn
except over
as you lay there
the clock says 2 pm
your mind says what am i going to do
help
me though?
reality check
paycheck
check and check
its how the world functions
i don't live to work
i work to live
because i have to
we all have to
well,
those of us, independent
no mommy daddy coattails
no inheritance
no strings attached.
we live
we work
and we find happiness
with what's left.
6.08.2009
it's like a ransom note
tattooed onto the back of my eyelids.
give me it back
the way i left it
dignity intact.
every day
especially now,
i read,
i hope for a different outcome.
but it's always the same.
you own me.
you want me.
you hate me.
you need me.
but you refuse me.
entirely.
Obama isn't fixing it, either.
shame.
some day it will be different though
and i'll laugh in your face
it will cower in shame.
as it should.
and some day you'll accompany me.
peace.
tattooed onto the back of my eyelids.
give me it back
the way i left it
dignity intact.
every day
especially now,
i read,
i hope for a different outcome.
but it's always the same.
you own me.
you want me.
you hate me.
you need me.
but you refuse me.
entirely.
Obama isn't fixing it, either.
shame.
some day it will be different though
and i'll laugh in your face
it will cower in shame.
as it should.
and some day you'll accompany me.
peace.
6.03.2009
Bacon cheeseburgers are quite possibly my favorite food on planet Earth. But there are many facets to making a great bacon cheeseburger. First of all, the burger must be flame grilled. No fast food microwaving, no frying pans, no George Foreman...it has to be on a grill. And the burger patty itself cannot be skinny. Skinny burgers freak me out. They have to be atleast a 1/4 lb. Why waste your time with anything less?
Secondly, there must be these condiments on my bacon cheeseburger: lettuce (preferably shredded), dill pickle (preferably in "chip" form), ketchup, yellow mustard, and the cheese needs to be either American or pepperjack (but never swiss, it's my least favorite cheese besides bleu, wait, I take that back, bleu cheese is my least favorite, actually, though it isn't even a possibility for me to eat it because it's so effing disgusting).
Oh, sidenote, this burger cannot come from a fast food restaurant. Nope. Sorry. No can do. It's not worth it on any level because those compacted burger patties are composed of about 1,000 cows. Not doin it. I need a real bacon cheeseburger.
(I almost never, ever eat fast food ((unless it's Subway or Chipotle)) but if I do eat fast food I never order a burger because they're almost always nasty. You know who has the nastiest lettuce on Earth if you order a burger? Wendy's. Don't get me wrong, I love me some Wendy's, BUT, their lettuce is a slimy piece of lettuce shrapnel that entices my gag reflex, which is weird because I DON'T HAVE A GAG REFLEX?)
(You want to know why I know I don't have a gag reflex? Well, and this is slightly embarrassing, but then again I don't really care because I don't have an eating disorder ((pretty much the opposite)): BUT, I've tried to make myself puke before (for several different reasons, none of them serious, but somewhat funny in hindsight) and I cannot do it no matter how far I stick my finger/arm down my throat. It just won't happen. Sorry, no gag or puke is to be had.)
Now I have experienced a gag reflex when smelling something gross or seeing something gross, so maybe that's the answer to my problem. If I see someone puking my gag reflex gets real sensitive.
Back to my point, the bacon can be prepared any which way, I don't really care, bacon is bacon and it's almost always good. It can be soggy, it can be crisp, but I personally cannot cook bacon because I ALWAYS burn it and subsequently it's never edible. Someone with much more skill than I has to cook bacon. I heard putting it in the oven is a smart idea? Don't quote me on that.
Another REALLY important part of the hamburger is the bun. Too often burgers are served on bad buns. I really appreciate the aesthetics of a sesame seed bun. It just looks right.
But above all else the bun needs to be fresh, slightly toasted, and NOT buttered in any way, shape, or form. Butter makes it soggy and sick.
Burgers are always so good, I don't know that I've ever had a bad one.
Aren't you glad I'm not talking about shells? That was a ton of personal opinion.
Secondly, there must be these condiments on my bacon cheeseburger: lettuce (preferably shredded), dill pickle (preferably in "chip" form), ketchup, yellow mustard, and the cheese needs to be either American or pepperjack (but never swiss, it's my least favorite cheese besides bleu, wait, I take that back, bleu cheese is my least favorite, actually, though it isn't even a possibility for me to eat it because it's so effing disgusting).
Oh, sidenote, this burger cannot come from a fast food restaurant. Nope. Sorry. No can do. It's not worth it on any level because those compacted burger patties are composed of about 1,000 cows. Not doin it. I need a real bacon cheeseburger.
(I almost never, ever eat fast food ((unless it's Subway or Chipotle)) but if I do eat fast food I never order a burger because they're almost always nasty. You know who has the nastiest lettuce on Earth if you order a burger? Wendy's. Don't get me wrong, I love me some Wendy's, BUT, their lettuce is a slimy piece of lettuce shrapnel that entices my gag reflex, which is weird because I DON'T HAVE A GAG REFLEX?)
(You want to know why I know I don't have a gag reflex? Well, and this is slightly embarrassing, but then again I don't really care because I don't have an eating disorder ((pretty much the opposite)): BUT, I've tried to make myself puke before (for several different reasons, none of them serious, but somewhat funny in hindsight) and I cannot do it no matter how far I stick my finger/arm down my throat. It just won't happen. Sorry, no gag or puke is to be had.)
Now I have experienced a gag reflex when smelling something gross or seeing something gross, so maybe that's the answer to my problem. If I see someone puking my gag reflex gets real sensitive.
Back to my point, the bacon can be prepared any which way, I don't really care, bacon is bacon and it's almost always good. It can be soggy, it can be crisp, but I personally cannot cook bacon because I ALWAYS burn it and subsequently it's never edible. Someone with much more skill than I has to cook bacon. I heard putting it in the oven is a smart idea? Don't quote me on that.
Another REALLY important part of the hamburger is the bun. Too often burgers are served on bad buns. I really appreciate the aesthetics of a sesame seed bun. It just looks right.
But above all else the bun needs to be fresh, slightly toasted, and NOT buttered in any way, shape, or form. Butter makes it soggy and sick.
Burgers are always so good, I don't know that I've ever had a bad one.
Aren't you glad I'm not talking about shells? That was a ton of personal opinion.
6.02.2009
Part 3 & Part 4
Not all hot people are shells. True statement. To you who do not (personally) know me, I know these recent blogs may come across as promoting superiority or elite, quick judgment upon others...but in reality, that's really not the point at all. The way I perceive it, I'm just observing the absurdities of my generation, my peers, and explaining how it all hits my brain.
I'm calling a spade and spade. It's OK to do that, you know. To be honest with how you feel.
For starters, if I think you're a shell, you'll never know it. I'm not going to bring it to your attention, call you out. Me? Please. I'm not like that. The way you lead your life is entirely your own thing. Life your life your way, I would never try to pop your bubble.
I'm not a shrew.
I'm not a hater.
I'm not insecure.
I'm just talking. To no one in particular. To myself, really. There's no agenda. Just small talk. It's OK for me to comment on the silly ways people carry themselves, and how serious some people take themselves, too.
It's all nonsense, really. I could endlessly marvel at the sheer amount of wasted time and energy resourced into trying to look better than everyone else, to building a shell that says, I'm hot, want a piece of this?
You may be hot, I may want a piece, but, for your sake, I also find it emphatically important to show, be it even a minute proportion, a shred of humanity that can be seen across the room, not from a cat scan. The unnecessary and tiring chore of chipping away at a hardened shell in an attempt to find something relatable? No one will do that. That's not fun for anyone. Sure, its doable for the first couple of nights. There's fun to be had with that flesh of yours. Unfortunately though, in this world, there's a lot of flesh to be had, and much of it is more appealing than yours. So don't take yourself too seriously, because inevitably there will always be someone hotter who can easily steal your spotlight. And when that reality sets in, the fun is over. You then have to find a different way to trap'em. What other bait do you have?
Too many times I have encountered ego-driven personalities. They come in packages that are all too familiar and easily spottable. Am I ever rude and nasty to these people? Never, ever. At my rudest, the one thing that I could do to show non-interest in someone I've thoughtfully and carefully deemed a "shell" is to pretend that they don't exist...like I physically do not see them. That's it. It's the least confrontational approach to not feeding into a shell's dire need for attention. They want attention, they want to make eye contact...they get off on that "people are looking at me" feeling...it's the name of their game.
If I'm wrong, and you are in fact not a shell...somehow, someway, that will be made known. But in the meantime, you're doing something wrong.
Personally, when I go out on the town, I don't walk into a bar and assume that people are going to stop and look at me. I don't carry myself that way. I don't carry myself as a spectacle, as a prize. Am I confident? Absolutely. I know for a fact that I am a good person with a great offering. Do I think my looks are superior? Absolutely not. I've seen very few people in my lifetime whom I have deemed incredibly good looking. You know, those stop and stare moments. And I can easily recall each individual who has ever captured my attention like that. But I would never assume I am that person to anyone.
I don't need to hold that position in someone's life. I have other attributes.
My shell exterior is a really brief classification of my personality. I'm not flashy, I'm simple. I dress appropriately. I keep good hygiene. And I try to smile more than not. That's all I need for now. If you wanted to get to know me, I think you would be satisfied with the package deal.
Maybe not though, who knows. It's not important what others think. There's a principle somewhere though, and that's the whole point of this blog thread.
Sometimes when you look in a shell, there's nothing there but an ocean's echo. But for some shells, inside, there's something alive. Startling huh?
What a perfect combination, what a perfect purpose.
That specific shell, different from the rest, serves a purpose...other than just sitting in a jar full of other shells.
Not all hot people are shells. True statement. To you who do not (personally) know me, I know these recent blogs may come across as promoting superiority or elite, quick judgment upon others...but in reality, that's really not the point at all. The way I perceive it, I'm just observing the absurdities of my generation, my peers, and explaining how it all hits my brain.
I'm calling a spade and spade. It's OK to do that, you know. To be honest with how you feel.
For starters, if I think you're a shell, you'll never know it. I'm not going to bring it to your attention, call you out. Me? Please. I'm not like that. The way you lead your life is entirely your own thing. Life your life your way, I would never try to pop your bubble.
I'm not a shrew.
I'm not a hater.
I'm not insecure.
I'm just talking. To no one in particular. To myself, really. There's no agenda. Just small talk. It's OK for me to comment on the silly ways people carry themselves, and how serious some people take themselves, too.
It's all nonsense, really. I could endlessly marvel at the sheer amount of wasted time and energy resourced into trying to look better than everyone else, to building a shell that says, I'm hot, want a piece of this?
You may be hot, I may want a piece, but, for your sake, I also find it emphatically important to show, be it even a minute proportion, a shred of humanity that can be seen across the room, not from a cat scan. The unnecessary and tiring chore of chipping away at a hardened shell in an attempt to find something relatable? No one will do that. That's not fun for anyone. Sure, its doable for the first couple of nights. There's fun to be had with that flesh of yours. Unfortunately though, in this world, there's a lot of flesh to be had, and much of it is more appealing than yours. So don't take yourself too seriously, because inevitably there will always be someone hotter who can easily steal your spotlight. And when that reality sets in, the fun is over. You then have to find a different way to trap'em. What other bait do you have?
Too many times I have encountered ego-driven personalities. They come in packages that are all too familiar and easily spottable. Am I ever rude and nasty to these people? Never, ever. At my rudest, the one thing that I could do to show non-interest in someone I've thoughtfully and carefully deemed a "shell" is to pretend that they don't exist...like I physically do not see them. That's it. It's the least confrontational approach to not feeding into a shell's dire need for attention. They want attention, they want to make eye contact...they get off on that "people are looking at me" feeling...it's the name of their game.
If I'm wrong, and you are in fact not a shell...somehow, someway, that will be made known. But in the meantime, you're doing something wrong.
Personally, when I go out on the town, I don't walk into a bar and assume that people are going to stop and look at me. I don't carry myself that way. I don't carry myself as a spectacle, as a prize. Am I confident? Absolutely. I know for a fact that I am a good person with a great offering. Do I think my looks are superior? Absolutely not. I've seen very few people in my lifetime whom I have deemed incredibly good looking. You know, those stop and stare moments. And I can easily recall each individual who has ever captured my attention like that. But I would never assume I am that person to anyone.
I don't need to hold that position in someone's life. I have other attributes.
My shell exterior is a really brief classification of my personality. I'm not flashy, I'm simple. I dress appropriately. I keep good hygiene. And I try to smile more than not. That's all I need for now. If you wanted to get to know me, I think you would be satisfied with the package deal.
Maybe not though, who knows. It's not important what others think. There's a principle somewhere though, and that's the whole point of this blog thread.
Sometimes when you look in a shell, there's nothing there but an ocean's echo. But for some shells, inside, there's something alive. Startling huh?
What a perfect combination, what a perfect purpose.
That specific shell, different from the rest, serves a purpose...other than just sitting in a jar full of other shells.
6.01.2009
Part 2.
Assume you are a gay male. This type of shell is no different than the first. The only difference here is that I loosen the definition of the word "hot." Hot girls are usually a package deal, meaning they have a hot face and usually a hot body. In the gay world, I don't think it's the same. I believe many guys see a hot body, and sometimes a hot face to boot. But in the case of a less-than-hot face, a hot body totally trumps everything. In my opinion, gay men are, more times than not, completely (and sometimes solely) attracted by the a vision of chiseled physique. And sometimes nothing more than that. The more muscle, the more BULK, the more beef, the better quality guy, right?
Duh, you idiot. Not even close.
Disclaimer: there's nothing wrong with being in shape. There's nothing wrong with working out, eating right, and being fit. BUT, I would argue that plenty of gay males do not prioritize a healthy lifestyle over filling out a size-too-small tshirt. Gay men equate having big arms, pecs, and a six-pack with being a rare catch.
How wrong you are. That theory doesn't define a person, it defines you and your shallow interests.
So, you see a "hot" guy in a coffee shop, with at least one article of clothing being from Abercrombie or Diesel, his laptop nicely set out in front of him, his tshirt accentuating his six-days-a-week, creatine-built gym body. You don't really notice his face because you're too busy checking out his shell. And that's the way it works for him. His face is less than attractive but wow, that body makes up for it, right?
He's a shell, too. In some way, he's selling his body. He's bulking it up, working it out, keeping his i's dotted and his t's crossed. If he doesn't have that killer body, gay eyes will travel to the next guy at the coffee shop/bar/sidewalk who does. After all, muscle mass = good guy.
Hmm, so you go up to the guy at the coffee shop, distracting him from his Craigslist posting, awkward, and ask him out on a date. Yessss...before you know it, that muscle god will be ALL yours. Oh the flesh. Oh the possibilities.
Oh the shit what was I thinking?...
He's a shell. *Hindsight* You find out that he likes to talk about himself a lot. He also likes to go to the bars, a lot. His interests are working out and going out. You come to find out he has 1,367 Facebook friends, and weirdly, 987 tagged photos (983 of them being shirtless). His voice is about 8 octaves above where you thought it would be. You come to find out his world revolves around Old Navy flip flops, ripoff D&G sunglasses (tell-tale sign), and porn stars. Sometimes he wears a rosary as a necklace and sometimes he does pushups right before he puts on that XS American Apparel T. His teeth are freakishly white, and you know it's not because he has good hygiene. His waist size is a Diesel 28 and he benches 265. He doesn't eat ice cream either, so don't even offer up dessert. And no, he can't go to the movie tomorrow because he'll inevitably be at the gym. Why does he keep sniffing and scratching at his nose? Must have caught a cold at the gym.
Mhm.
Throughout the whole date, you feel small in comparison to this person. Physically. You like emasculation? You're getting a proverbial buttload of it. And trust me, he has noticed the size difference, too. Power role: he wins. You always lose, unless you hire a personal trainer with a magic wand.
He's a complete shell. Everything is on the outside, all of his organs are tightly in place thanks to that shell of his. That's it, show is over. He works out six days a week because that's his saving grace, the undeniable fact that he can lift heavy weights, build endless muscle, and be regarded as hot as hell...all just by exercising. It's something that ANYONE can do. But to a shell, it's what they're selling as something that's inherently them. It's who they are. They are a beautiful body, and you should be lucky that they'd date someone like yourself. For now.
But sometimes they are only a beautiful body. They only have a body to offer you. At some point, that body will not make you laugh. His muscle will not console your insecurities, but heighten them. His large frame will not keep you company when you're bored; he's at or under a bar. His benchpress won't make for good conversation anymore. His protein shake recipes won't make for a good dinner. You get my drift.
What you may find out is that he's currently unemployed, he picks his nose at night, chews protein bars with his mouth open, and his apartment smells like a chicken farm on a hot, humid day. Surely a chicken died somewhere. Cute.
You're lusting after a shell. Stop it. Dig deeper, expect more. There is more to life and love than a trophy image. Much, much more. Anyone can have a great, attractive body, it's not a defining characteristic of a good guy. ANYONE CAN HAVE A HOT BODY.
Unless you're in a vegetative state.
Assume you are a gay male. This type of shell is no different than the first. The only difference here is that I loosen the definition of the word "hot." Hot girls are usually a package deal, meaning they have a hot face and usually a hot body. In the gay world, I don't think it's the same. I believe many guys see a hot body, and sometimes a hot face to boot. But in the case of a less-than-hot face, a hot body totally trumps everything. In my opinion, gay men are, more times than not, completely (and sometimes solely) attracted by the a vision of chiseled physique. And sometimes nothing more than that. The more muscle, the more BULK, the more beef, the better quality guy, right?
Duh, you idiot. Not even close.
Disclaimer: there's nothing wrong with being in shape. There's nothing wrong with working out, eating right, and being fit. BUT, I would argue that plenty of gay males do not prioritize a healthy lifestyle over filling out a size-too-small tshirt. Gay men equate having big arms, pecs, and a six-pack with being a rare catch.
How wrong you are. That theory doesn't define a person, it defines you and your shallow interests.
So, you see a "hot" guy in a coffee shop, with at least one article of clothing being from Abercrombie or Diesel, his laptop nicely set out in front of him, his tshirt accentuating his six-days-a-week, creatine-built gym body. You don't really notice his face because you're too busy checking out his shell. And that's the way it works for him. His face is less than attractive but wow, that body makes up for it, right?
He's a shell, too. In some way, he's selling his body. He's bulking it up, working it out, keeping his i's dotted and his t's crossed. If he doesn't have that killer body, gay eyes will travel to the next guy at the coffee shop/bar/sidewalk who does. After all, muscle mass = good guy.
Hmm, so you go up to the guy at the coffee shop, distracting him from his Craigslist posting, awkward, and ask him out on a date. Yessss...before you know it, that muscle god will be ALL yours. Oh the flesh. Oh the possibilities.
Oh the shit what was I thinking?...
He's a shell. *Hindsight* You find out that he likes to talk about himself a lot. He also likes to go to the bars, a lot. His interests are working out and going out. You come to find out he has 1,367 Facebook friends, and weirdly, 987 tagged photos (983 of them being shirtless). His voice is about 8 octaves above where you thought it would be. You come to find out his world revolves around Old Navy flip flops, ripoff D&G sunglasses (tell-tale sign), and porn stars. Sometimes he wears a rosary as a necklace and sometimes he does pushups right before he puts on that XS American Apparel T. His teeth are freakishly white, and you know it's not because he has good hygiene. His waist size is a Diesel 28 and he benches 265. He doesn't eat ice cream either, so don't even offer up dessert. And no, he can't go to the movie tomorrow because he'll inevitably be at the gym. Why does he keep sniffing and scratching at his nose? Must have caught a cold at the gym.
Mhm.
Throughout the whole date, you feel small in comparison to this person. Physically. You like emasculation? You're getting a proverbial buttload of it. And trust me, he has noticed the size difference, too. Power role: he wins. You always lose, unless you hire a personal trainer with a magic wand.
He's a complete shell. Everything is on the outside, all of his organs are tightly in place thanks to that shell of his. That's it, show is over. He works out six days a week because that's his saving grace, the undeniable fact that he can lift heavy weights, build endless muscle, and be regarded as hot as hell...all just by exercising. It's something that ANYONE can do. But to a shell, it's what they're selling as something that's inherently them. It's who they are. They are a beautiful body, and you should be lucky that they'd date someone like yourself. For now.
But sometimes they are only a beautiful body. They only have a body to offer you. At some point, that body will not make you laugh. His muscle will not console your insecurities, but heighten them. His large frame will not keep you company when you're bored; he's at or under a bar. His benchpress won't make for good conversation anymore. His protein shake recipes won't make for a good dinner. You get my drift.
What you may find out is that he's currently unemployed, he picks his nose at night, chews protein bars with his mouth open, and his apartment smells like a chicken farm on a hot, humid day. Surely a chicken died somewhere. Cute.
You're lusting after a shell. Stop it. Dig deeper, expect more. There is more to life and love than a trophy image. Much, much more. Anyone can have a great, attractive body, it's not a defining characteristic of a good guy. ANYONE CAN HAVE A HOT BODY.
Unless you're in a vegetative state.
Funny story, I was about to write a blog post about bacon cheeseburgers and Oral-B floss, but was immediately distracted and inspired by a conversation with Nate about HOT PEOPLE.
You know...those people who are extra, EXTRA good-looking: perfect nose, white teeth, great hair, kickin style, hottie with a body...etc. etc.
Hot people seem cool, great, fine, everything, yada yada, but there's a bigger picture here. Yes, big picture has been my go-to phrase as of late, but that's just the way I live my life these days: big picture.
Anyway, hot people: be careful, they're never as simple as they seem. You see them, you immediately think "ooooh they're SMOKIN" and then in your shallow brain you automatically position yourself for a long, happy, healthy, non-changing forever with them, the perfect couple, two cute peas in a super cute pod. Simple, right?
WRONG-O.
Let's assume, you, the reader, are a straight male. You see a girl in a coffee shop, looking extra hot, innocently reading Marley & Me. You notice her non-bumpy nose, her smooth skin, her cute, slightly messed-up hair bun-concoction, her short skirt, legs that go for miles, pedicured toes, and the best thing of all: no one across the table from her.
PERFECT, right?
Pros:
She's hot.
She's surprisingly single.
So, you go up to her immediately, before someone else does, and you ask her out on a date. All that hotness, all to yourself. *Hindsight alert* Only later do you realize what a FREAK SHOW she actually is i.e. she has nothing nice to say about anyone, can't hold a conversation to save her life (outside of what happened on Gossip Girl), doesn't laugh at any of your jokes since they aren't in specific reference to said Gossip Girl, and to top things off, has listed you within her seen-better-days Blackberry as "Mark3."
Cons:
That hot girl is what I call a SHELL. Nothing measurable on the inside. Her outside, be it a super pretty one, has two, clear-cut purposes: A. to attract the unsuspecting and B. to house organs. She's a complete shell. What you see is what you get. No good surprises in store. That's all, folks. HOT. This girl offers only heartache and inevitable disappointment. After all, this is a girl that will text her besties nonstop amid conversations with you. This girl wants to spend time with you, over a free meal. This girl has a huge turquoise purse filled with gum wrappers, nail polish, and tampons. This girl has huge D&G sunglasses she bought in Chinatown, but admits it to no one. And she thinks she's entirely cute in them, being that she wheres them everywhere, including elevators, but in reality it just makes her hot face seem oddly smaller and alien-esque. Oh, and that smooth skin? 98% of it is foundation. Get her in some fluorescent lighting and her face is a completely different shade from her neck. Ew. This is also the same girl that on a Friday night gets ready with her girlies (typically less hot than her), puts on a disgusting sale outfit she picked up at Forever 21 (because she is forever 21), complete with a pair of high heels that she has yet to barf on, and then goes out for a night on the town for some debauchery, cranberry vodkas, and white-girl-rap-music-dancing.
Worst of all, that bitch smacks her gum.
And that's what you're waking up next to tomorrow morning. Her. That hot piece of butt you thought was so neverending-happy-life-worthy, but hindsight reveals you'd rather jump out her 4th floor apartment window then risk having her wake up and wanting to cuddle.
So it's all your fault, you shell lover you. You were seduced by a shell. Back in the dimly-lit coffee shop, if you weren't so distracted by her (at the time) incomparable good looks, you would have easily noticed that her Marley & Me book was upside down.
Now, assume you are a gay male. Part 2. Coming later.
Part 3: Not all hot people are shells.
Part 4: I don't judge, I evaluate.
You know...those people who are extra, EXTRA good-looking: perfect nose, white teeth, great hair, kickin style, hottie with a body...etc. etc.
Hot people seem cool, great, fine, everything, yada yada, but there's a bigger picture here. Yes, big picture has been my go-to phrase as of late, but that's just the way I live my life these days: big picture.
Anyway, hot people: be careful, they're never as simple as they seem. You see them, you immediately think "ooooh they're SMOKIN" and then in your shallow brain you automatically position yourself for a long, happy, healthy, non-changing forever with them, the perfect couple, two cute peas in a super cute pod. Simple, right?
WRONG-O.
Let's assume, you, the reader, are a straight male. You see a girl in a coffee shop, looking extra hot, innocently reading Marley & Me. You notice her non-bumpy nose, her smooth skin, her cute, slightly messed-up hair bun-concoction, her short skirt, legs that go for miles, pedicured toes, and the best thing of all: no one across the table from her.
PERFECT, right?
Pros:
She's hot.
She's surprisingly single.
So, you go up to her immediately, before someone else does, and you ask her out on a date. All that hotness, all to yourself. *Hindsight alert* Only later do you realize what a FREAK SHOW she actually is i.e. she has nothing nice to say about anyone, can't hold a conversation to save her life (outside of what happened on Gossip Girl), doesn't laugh at any of your jokes since they aren't in specific reference to said Gossip Girl, and to top things off, has listed you within her seen-better-days Blackberry as "Mark3."
Cons:
That hot girl is what I call a SHELL. Nothing measurable on the inside. Her outside, be it a super pretty one, has two, clear-cut purposes: A. to attract the unsuspecting and B. to house organs. She's a complete shell. What you see is what you get. No good surprises in store. That's all, folks. HOT. This girl offers only heartache and inevitable disappointment. After all, this is a girl that will text her besties nonstop amid conversations with you. This girl wants to spend time with you, over a free meal. This girl has a huge turquoise purse filled with gum wrappers, nail polish, and tampons. This girl has huge D&G sunglasses she bought in Chinatown, but admits it to no one. And she thinks she's entirely cute in them, being that she wheres them everywhere, including elevators, but in reality it just makes her hot face seem oddly smaller and alien-esque. Oh, and that smooth skin? 98% of it is foundation. Get her in some fluorescent lighting and her face is a completely different shade from her neck. Ew. This is also the same girl that on a Friday night gets ready with her girlies (typically less hot than her), puts on a disgusting sale outfit she picked up at Forever 21 (because she is forever 21), complete with a pair of high heels that she has yet to barf on, and then goes out for a night on the town for some debauchery, cranberry vodkas, and white-girl-rap-music-dancing.
Worst of all, that bitch smacks her gum.
And that's what you're waking up next to tomorrow morning. Her. That hot piece of butt you thought was so neverending-happy-life-worthy, but hindsight reveals you'd rather jump out her 4th floor apartment window then risk having her wake up and wanting to cuddle.
So it's all your fault, you shell lover you. You were seduced by a shell. Back in the dimly-lit coffee shop, if you weren't so distracted by her (at the time) incomparable good looks, you would have easily noticed that her Marley & Me book was upside down.
Now, assume you are a gay male. Part 2. Coming later.
Part 3: Not all hot people are shells.
Part 4: I don't judge, I evaluate.
5.29.2009
I'm having a really tough time getting through this transition. I don't know if I can do it. Why, why am I even doing this in the first place? I'm almost sure I'm not strong enough for this kind of change. I really need help right now. Somebody...HELP.
Natural peanut butter is sick.
How I miss my Skippy.
Natural peanut butter is sick.
How I miss my Skippy.
5.26.2009
People of California: move. There are other places to live. I know, it's tough: you won't have year long temperate weather and get to wear oversized sunglasses everywhere you go, but think "big picture." Live in a state that accepts its citizens as individuals, not majority rule. Get married, have children, and watch them build snowmen. Heck, put on your new Northface and go out with them to build a snowfamily with two Moms or two Dads, whatever your situation may be. All because you can, legally.
It'll all be OK. Just move. Leave behind the sun-tanned ignorance. Embrace four seasons. Expect and receive equal rights.
What does California really have to offer anyway, other than paparazzi, plastics, tinsel, and reality tv?
Not much. Let its economy and elite bragging rights go down with its crumbling foundation (literally and figuratively).
Maine, Connecticut, Massachusetts, and Iowa are great states to live in. More are on the way.
In fact, former 3 year Iowa citizen right here. Coralville, represent!
It'll all be OK. Just move. Leave behind the sun-tanned ignorance. Embrace four seasons. Expect and receive equal rights.
What does California really have to offer anyway, other than paparazzi, plastics, tinsel, and reality tv?
Not much. Let its economy and elite bragging rights go down with its crumbling foundation (literally and figuratively).
Maine, Connecticut, Massachusetts, and Iowa are great states to live in. More are on the way.
In fact, former 3 year Iowa citizen right here. Coralville, represent!
5.21.2009
The Wallflowers' One Headlight just came on and it changed my mood exponentially for the day. Thanks for that guys. Oldie but goodie.
Speaking of, I was going to post something about, gasp, Demi Lovato's La La Land. The song somehow shuffled its way into my earbuds and I was OK with that. While I was listening to the angsty lyrics, I was like YES, so true Demi. Rock on. But, after researching the lyrics, it's probably best I didn't quote them. The song is mostly about not being an LA-byproduct. I've never even been to LA so I can't really relate with that, but I can relate with this, pardon my quoting-from-a-teen-queen-that-knows-nothing-about-the-real-world-yet:
I am confident
But I still have my moments
Baby, that's just me
I'm not a supermodel
I still eat McDonald's
Baby, that's just me
OK, well I don't eat at McDonald's, well, wait, I sometimes eat their soft-serve cones and McNuggets. Guilty.
The bigger picture is being proud and confident in the skin you're in. It's such a disappointment to see people get caught up in their bodies and physical image. In a world trapped within the lonely grips of vanity, it's refreshing to think about those who embrace themselves for who they really are, not how many abdominals can be seen, not how dark their tan is, not how fresh their clothes are.
Nothing is sexier than unabashed confidence for absolutely no reason at all. People who rock out their personality will always capture my attention first before some hard shell of a human being ever will.
You can slap an ass only so many times before you begin to wish there was a single, shred of thought process going on in their mind during the pale moonlight afterglow.
That is, a thought process other than, gotta work on my delts in the morning.
I hope you don't wake up old and alone, and probably fat. Live that life of yours and do what it is that makes you happy.
All in moderation.
After all, we can be cool and confident, but we can still have our moments.
It's human.
Speaking of, I was going to post something about, gasp, Demi Lovato's La La Land. The song somehow shuffled its way into my earbuds and I was OK with that. While I was listening to the angsty lyrics, I was like YES, so true Demi. Rock on. But, after researching the lyrics, it's probably best I didn't quote them. The song is mostly about not being an LA-byproduct. I've never even been to LA so I can't really relate with that, but I can relate with this, pardon my quoting-from-a-teen-queen-that-knows-nothing-about-the-real-world-yet:
I am confident
But I still have my moments
Baby, that's just me
I'm not a supermodel
I still eat McDonald's
Baby, that's just me
OK, well I don't eat at McDonald's, well, wait, I sometimes eat their soft-serve cones and McNuggets. Guilty.
The bigger picture is being proud and confident in the skin you're in. It's such a disappointment to see people get caught up in their bodies and physical image. In a world trapped within the lonely grips of vanity, it's refreshing to think about those who embrace themselves for who they really are, not how many abdominals can be seen, not how dark their tan is, not how fresh their clothes are.
Nothing is sexier than unabashed confidence for absolutely no reason at all. People who rock out their personality will always capture my attention first before some hard shell of a human being ever will.
You can slap an ass only so many times before you begin to wish there was a single, shred of thought process going on in their mind during the pale moonlight afterglow.
That is, a thought process other than, gotta work on my delts in the morning.
I hope you don't wake up old and alone, and probably fat. Live that life of yours and do what it is that makes you happy.
All in moderation.
After all, we can be cool and confident, but we can still have our moments.
It's human.
5.20.2009
Just for the record:
I've eaten way too much peanut butter this week already;
I seriously cannot stand to see the face of John or Kate or their 8. Who cares about them?
I can't stop thinking about the peanut butter ice cream I had last Saturday.
I sometimes worry that I'll sleepwalk off of my bedroom balcony and then, of course, plummet.
I'm really glad American Idol is almost over with so people will stop saying the words adam, lambert, kris, and allen.
I need a tan.
I've eaten way too much peanut butter this week already;
I seriously cannot stand to see the face of John or Kate or their 8. Who cares about them?
I can't stop thinking about the peanut butter ice cream I had last Saturday.
I sometimes worry that I'll sleepwalk off of my bedroom balcony and then, of course, plummet.
I'm really glad American Idol is almost over with so people will stop saying the words adam, lambert, kris, and allen.
I need a tan.
5.19.2009
This is the ryansumner chill-out blog. Just chillin. Nothing else. ChillBlog. RyChill. You get it...
I've come to realize that I get caught up worrying about the fate of others FAR too much. For whatever reason, I feel the constant need to mother those close to me. If only my advice went beyond their ears. But should it? Probably not, but at least I put it out there. Not everyone swats at houseflies with flyswatters. Sometimes people catch them, open a door, and let them go only to come back again, inevitably.
I think that's the purpose of my advice and affectionate attention.
Don't do this, do that. Could you get real for 5 seconds? If I were you. Maybe you should think about it this way. Well in my opinion...
I need to stop. I know what I'm talking about. I think. And it's OK if they don't buy it. I personally feel satisfied with what I want out of myself (and others) by this stage of my life. How I live my life. Not everyone embraces it, though. Not everybody knows what they want out of their life. Maybe I don't either, even though I think I do. Something tells me that I do. Personally. It's not about being self-righteous, god knows I dislike that quality in others. It's more about what drives me to be the way that I am, to do the things that I do, and gives me the voice to say what I say.
Because I believe in me.
And that's why I get out of bed every day, that's why I do what I do, why I say what I say.
Drive.
I see here and now, and I enjoy it. Immensely. But the cliche "tomorrow is promised to no one" sticks in my mind like taffy on a hot, summer day. It goos, tacks, and bubbles a little bit. Permeating as my rock. My taffy rock.
Push yourself, go where they think you can't, do what you dream. Live life but, at the same time, live a life worth living. And take pride in that.
Smile.
I've come to realize that I get caught up worrying about the fate of others FAR too much. For whatever reason, I feel the constant need to mother those close to me. If only my advice went beyond their ears. But should it? Probably not, but at least I put it out there. Not everyone swats at houseflies with flyswatters. Sometimes people catch them, open a door, and let them go only to come back again, inevitably.
I think that's the purpose of my advice and affectionate attention.
Don't do this, do that. Could you get real for 5 seconds? If I were you. Maybe you should think about it this way. Well in my opinion...
I need to stop. I know what I'm talking about. I think. And it's OK if they don't buy it. I personally feel satisfied with what I want out of myself (and others) by this stage of my life. How I live my life. Not everyone embraces it, though. Not everybody knows what they want out of their life. Maybe I don't either, even though I think I do. Something tells me that I do. Personally. It's not about being self-righteous, god knows I dislike that quality in others. It's more about what drives me to be the way that I am, to do the things that I do, and gives me the voice to say what I say.
Because I believe in me.
And that's why I get out of bed every day, that's why I do what I do, why I say what I say.
Drive.
I see here and now, and I enjoy it. Immensely. But the cliche "tomorrow is promised to no one" sticks in my mind like taffy on a hot, summer day. It goos, tacks, and bubbles a little bit. Permeating as my rock. My taffy rock.
Push yourself, go where they think you can't, do what you dream. Live life but, at the same time, live a life worth living. And take pride in that.
Smile.
5.18.2009
This morning I read a heart-breaking yet eye-opening news article about Lyme disease. I always likened Lyme disease to Irene on the Real World, and more recently to the gorilla that went crazy and nearly killed someone. But this article shed a different light on the disease. I never realized how truly extensive and debilitating the symptoms of Lyme disease could actually be. Knowledge is power, perhaps bug bites should be researched a little more thoroughly to make sure it wasn't by a tick?
5.16.2009
5.15.2009
It's funny how you can completely turn your mood around by popping in some Feist. It's the small things.
Current thoughts:
Stop internally labeling everyone at the gym as douchebag 1, douchebag 2, bitch A, bitch B. I need to be at peace with the people at the gym. I don't know why I get so bitter at the gym, it must be a body image issue or something. Yes, I'm not perfect.
I wish people would re-think pulling leaves off trees.
And while you're at it, don't tie your dog to a stop sign.
The mornings can be quite beautiful, if only you could drag yourself out of bed to see it. The rise helps you focus, the cool air clears your mind, the still is nice. All in all it makes you travel to comfortable places in your mind. At peace.
Do you know that feeling on Thanksgiving morning? Crisp, fall air, fall sunlight...food cooking, family near, ease, comfort, no commitments...I live for that feeling.
Moments from weather, I have them often. A sense of being, depending on the temperature, the clouds, the sun, the rain, the feeling right before a storm, the light of day, either bright, dark, or hazy. It brings back memories, it puts me in places, it makes me think, not in words, but in a time and place. Takes me places I've been, and want to be.
These things were on my mind yesterday/today.
I get myself. That's all that matters.
Current thoughts:
Stop internally labeling everyone at the gym as douchebag 1, douchebag 2, bitch A, bitch B. I need to be at peace with the people at the gym. I don't know why I get so bitter at the gym, it must be a body image issue or something. Yes, I'm not perfect.
I wish people would re-think pulling leaves off trees.
And while you're at it, don't tie your dog to a stop sign.
The mornings can be quite beautiful, if only you could drag yourself out of bed to see it. The rise helps you focus, the cool air clears your mind, the still is nice. All in all it makes you travel to comfortable places in your mind. At peace.
Do you know that feeling on Thanksgiving morning? Crisp, fall air, fall sunlight...food cooking, family near, ease, comfort, no commitments...I live for that feeling.
Moments from weather, I have them often. A sense of being, depending on the temperature, the clouds, the sun, the rain, the feeling right before a storm, the light of day, either bright, dark, or hazy. It brings back memories, it puts me in places, it makes me think, not in words, but in a time and place. Takes me places I've been, and want to be.
These things were on my mind yesterday/today.
I get myself. That's all that matters.
5.13.2009
The Buffalo plane crash is still bothering me. Yesterday I said that people automatically want someone to blame when bad things happen. That remains true. I also said that in times of tragedy and loss, direct accountability can be like an endless game of hide and seek. Sometimes there's someone there, sometimes there's not.
Accidents happen.
Sometimes inexplicably, sometimes unavoidably, sometimes inevitably. Let's not forget: planes are machines, pilots are human. You can be trained, certified, and promoted all day long, but in reality, it doesn't mean that human error no longer exists. In theory, we can feel assured by documentation, plaques, and seals of approval, knowledge is power, but it won't shield us from circumstance. Maybe the pilot was a slow learner, maybe he didn't do what he was supposed to do when the plane stalled, maybe Colgan Air and the FAA should re-evaluate its training and certification protocol. Maybe lots of things. Regardless, the situation should be seen like this: an airplane is a manmade machine, flying through air incredibly high and incredibly fast, and it's being controlled and operated by humans.
There are absolutely no guarantees in that scenario. The risks outweigh the convenience, always. But it's a risk many take.
Human error will always be a threat to our safety. Nothing is safe, fool-proof. Sometimes its as simple and circumstantial as being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It's so cliche, but yet true. And when that happens, there's nothing you can do. You can hope and pray for saftey and well being, but that's about it.
That's the way life works.
I sympathize with the victims' families. Something so horrific and hopeless is heart wrenching and difficult to digest. I would never even try to imagine what it must feel like to lose a friend or loved one in such a tragedy. This story obviously haunts me.
I will say this, though: no one is guaranteed a long, healthy, safe life.
So, in the meantime, enjoy it.
Accidents happen.
Sometimes inexplicably, sometimes unavoidably, sometimes inevitably. Let's not forget: planes are machines, pilots are human. You can be trained, certified, and promoted all day long, but in reality, it doesn't mean that human error no longer exists. In theory, we can feel assured by documentation, plaques, and seals of approval, knowledge is power, but it won't shield us from circumstance. Maybe the pilot was a slow learner, maybe he didn't do what he was supposed to do when the plane stalled, maybe Colgan Air and the FAA should re-evaluate its training and certification protocol. Maybe lots of things. Regardless, the situation should be seen like this: an airplane is a manmade machine, flying through air incredibly high and incredibly fast, and it's being controlled and operated by humans.
There are absolutely no guarantees in that scenario. The risks outweigh the convenience, always. But it's a risk many take.
Human error will always be a threat to our safety. Nothing is safe, fool-proof. Sometimes its as simple and circumstantial as being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It's so cliche, but yet true. And when that happens, there's nothing you can do. You can hope and pray for saftey and well being, but that's about it.
That's the way life works.
I sympathize with the victims' families. Something so horrific and hopeless is heart wrenching and difficult to digest. I would never even try to imagine what it must feel like to lose a friend or loved one in such a tragedy. This story obviously haunts me.
I will say this, though: no one is guaranteed a long, healthy, safe life.
So, in the meantime, enjoy it.
5.12.2009
Several things:
I can't remember where I read this, but I read something yesterday talking about how people need some one or some thing to blame when bad things happen. That statement is incredibly accurate. Take for instance the Buffalo plane crash: the news media is trying to dish up scoop about the pilot being a "slow learner" and that it's all his fault. The crash was an accident. Not every flight emergency can be averted. Don't forsake this man's name and family by making him the bad guy. Sometimes, bad things happen. And we have to move on.
In other news, oops I did it again. OD'd on Red Vines. I feel sick now. Plus, due to my lack of good judgement, I now have to run after work because I willingly just consumed over 500 calories GD MF'er SOB. I hate this part right here.
UGH. I also hate when I lose focus like that.
John you got any of that Gatorade Focus left? I need a few swigs.
I can't remember where I read this, but I read something yesterday talking about how people need some one or some thing to blame when bad things happen. That statement is incredibly accurate. Take for instance the Buffalo plane crash: the news media is trying to dish up scoop about the pilot being a "slow learner" and that it's all his fault. The crash was an accident. Not every flight emergency can be averted. Don't forsake this man's name and family by making him the bad guy. Sometimes, bad things happen. And we have to move on.
In other news, oops I did it again. OD'd on Red Vines. I feel sick now. Plus, due to my lack of good judgement, I now have to run after work because I willingly just consumed over 500 calories GD MF'er SOB. I hate this part right here.
UGH. I also hate when I lose focus like that.
John you got any of that Gatorade Focus left? I need a few swigs.
5.11.2009
stay away from me
the bum that asks god to bless me, then asks for money, then yells when he gets none
the girl on the bus, talking on her cell phone, 3 shopping bags about her body and a huge purse she's completely unaware of
the velour sweat suit dog lady whose yorkie looks sickly, old, and overprotected its whole, long life
the foreign-speaking maintenance man whose intentions are questionable, as are the last three words he said about my bathroom sink
the people with earbuds who are oblivious to every thing outside of their ipod
the guys at the gym that check out their side profile at every passing mirror
the girls at the gym that bounce from each piece of gym equipment in 3 second intervals, you were using this? i thought you were using that? oh, you were using both
the american apparel on walton and rush that consistently smells like a barn, i.e. urine-soaked hay
the geriatrics that grow meaner as they grow older, thank god my grandmas are the kind that grow sweeter
the joggers that stop for a red light then jog in place while they wait, i should probably get out of your way
the person that just asked me how i was doing as he quickly walked past me, i'm fine, not that you heard me say that though
the news reporter that gets overly giddy when talking to the weatherman, click, hey weather.com
the song the climb by miley cyrus, i can't, i won't, i might like you...oops
the peeps at the apple store that act infinitely cooler than me and are ultimately smarter than me, or are they
the fans of the current american idol season
the girls that have generic conversations with other girls, using this exact phrase "wow, that's awesome, good for you" not a word of that was sincere you social robot
the other social robots i.e. anyone i refer to as a friend of a friend i.e. oh hi, yeah i know your name, we've met before, numerous times actually, mine's ryan though, no...ryan, with an r
everyone else, you're fine
for now
the bum that asks god to bless me, then asks for money, then yells when he gets none
the girl on the bus, talking on her cell phone, 3 shopping bags about her body and a huge purse she's completely unaware of
the velour sweat suit dog lady whose yorkie looks sickly, old, and overprotected its whole, long life
the foreign-speaking maintenance man whose intentions are questionable, as are the last three words he said about my bathroom sink
the people with earbuds who are oblivious to every thing outside of their ipod
the guys at the gym that check out their side profile at every passing mirror
the girls at the gym that bounce from each piece of gym equipment in 3 second intervals, you were using this? i thought you were using that? oh, you were using both
the american apparel on walton and rush that consistently smells like a barn, i.e. urine-soaked hay
the geriatrics that grow meaner as they grow older, thank god my grandmas are the kind that grow sweeter
the joggers that stop for a red light then jog in place while they wait, i should probably get out of your way
the person that just asked me how i was doing as he quickly walked past me, i'm fine, not that you heard me say that though
the news reporter that gets overly giddy when talking to the weatherman, click, hey weather.com
the song the climb by miley cyrus, i can't, i won't, i might like you...oops
the peeps at the apple store that act infinitely cooler than me and are ultimately smarter than me, or are they
the fans of the current american idol season
the girls that have generic conversations with other girls, using this exact phrase "wow, that's awesome, good for you" not a word of that was sincere you social robot
the other social robots i.e. anyone i refer to as a friend of a friend i.e. oh hi, yeah i know your name, we've met before, numerous times actually, mine's ryan though, no...ryan, with an r
everyone else, you're fine
for now
5.08.2009
5.07.2009
Reasons Why I Dislike Facebook:
1. It's generally creepy.
2. People get real uncomfortable when you reference Facebook in human-to-human conversation.
3. Endless pictures are posted with no meaning whatsoever. It's especially interesting when people take pictures of the inside of their home or while at the zoo.
4. Tagged photos--unless, by some random act of God, you actually look decent in the tagged pic, rather than just the person posting it. That almost never happens though.
5. Status updates: as if we need to know that you're headed to class or bored at work. Really? No. We don't.
6. "Likes this" thumbs up. Very Michelle Tanner you got it, dude reminiscent.
7. Poking, the most non-useful feature currently available to mankind. If someone poked me in real life I'd ask them what the eff their problem was. Quit it.
8. Wall posts: "OMG hi! My phone died. That's why I haven't called you back in a week. I miss you, let's do something sometime!" Um, your phone didn't die, your social skills died hence why you would regard a wall post as an appropriate form of communication.
9. People who quote themselves under the Quotes section.
10. Recent surge of ranking lists, tagging your friends on posters with cartoon characters of different shapes, sizes, and perspectives, and "Fan of" everything. You're a fan of sleeping? Cool, me too. Who cares? No one.
11. Endless emails/notifications when people comment on the same thing you commented on as well as those who "reply to thread" on group emails. Somebody find me something sharp, stat.
12. "Lost my cellphone/Need your number" events.
13. The sheer amount of time and energy a large portion of the world spends on Facebook. If only we had a WorldHungerBook or AIDSBook or TheEconomyBook, the world would be a much better place.
14. Stalking is now universally acceptable via Facebook Feeds.
15. People who assume posting (and tagging) photos taken during high school years (or earlier) is a form of heartwarming nostalgia. It isn't. It's harrassment and, most times, defamation.
16. Friend requests from anonymous strangers. BAD IDEA, almost always.
17. The cruciality of one's "relationship" status. How barf-tastic is it when you read "X is in a relationship with O" ?? It's like a Page Six headline minus the whole celebrity aspect.
18. The user interface of Facebook is becoming more and more like putting together a Dalmation jigsaw puzzle.
19. Similarly, posting a YouTube video on someone's wall is much harder than one would expect.
20. Profile picture cropping: it's hilarious to see the lengths people go to to crop themselves out of a group picture. It's pretty desperate. I mean, do you look THAT good in this one ensembled-photo op or do you generally take bad pictures and have nothing else to work with?
21. Facebook notes. What is the point? No one will take anything you say seriously if it's via a Facebook note.
22. Facebook has practically eliminated the chance for most users to ever become President. You know there's something, somewhere, that you're not proud of...on Facebook.
23. The illusion of friends. In real life, I have about 15 people I'd call actual friends. On Facebook, I have 160 friends, which has been slimmed down from a previous tally of 235. Facebook is a social fantasy land.
24. Have people finally stopped buying gifts? I mean, it is/was the equivolent of putting a dollar bill through a paper shredder, then placing the money shreds in a hamster cage for your hamster to shit, pee, and sleep on.
25. It's very possible that your Mom has a Facebook profile. Need I say more?
Nope.
Reasons Why I Like Facebook
1. If you didn't have a Facebook profile, I'd question the content of your character as well as assume you were a psychotic, pervert serial killer whose anonyminity is crucial to fulfilling a mission of hiding in someone's closet while they get ready for bed then pouncing on them the very second their eyes close, then of course stabbing them repeatedly until their neighbors report suspicious sounds coming from next door.
Simply put, if you don't have a Facebook profile...something's wrong with you.
1. It's generally creepy.
2. People get real uncomfortable when you reference Facebook in human-to-human conversation.
3. Endless pictures are posted with no meaning whatsoever. It's especially interesting when people take pictures of the inside of their home or while at the zoo.
4. Tagged photos--unless, by some random act of God, you actually look decent in the tagged pic, rather than just the person posting it. That almost never happens though.
5. Status updates: as if we need to know that you're headed to class or bored at work. Really? No. We don't.
6. "Likes this" thumbs up. Very Michelle Tanner you got it, dude reminiscent.
7. Poking, the most non-useful feature currently available to mankind. If someone poked me in real life I'd ask them what the eff their problem was. Quit it.
8. Wall posts: "OMG hi! My phone died. That's why I haven't called you back in a week. I miss you, let's do something sometime!" Um, your phone didn't die, your social skills died hence why you would regard a wall post as an appropriate form of communication.
9. People who quote themselves under the Quotes section.
10. Recent surge of ranking lists, tagging your friends on posters with cartoon characters of different shapes, sizes, and perspectives, and "Fan of" everything. You're a fan of sleeping? Cool, me too. Who cares? No one.
11. Endless emails/notifications when people comment on the same thing you commented on as well as those who "reply to thread" on group emails. Somebody find me something sharp, stat.
12. "Lost my cellphone/Need your number" events.
13. The sheer amount of time and energy a large portion of the world spends on Facebook. If only we had a WorldHungerBook or AIDSBook or TheEconomyBook, the world would be a much better place.
14. Stalking is now universally acceptable via Facebook Feeds.
15. People who assume posting (and tagging) photos taken during high school years (or earlier) is a form of heartwarming nostalgia. It isn't. It's harrassment and, most times, defamation.
16. Friend requests from anonymous strangers. BAD IDEA, almost always.
17. The cruciality of one's "relationship" status. How barf-tastic is it when you read "X is in a relationship with O" ?? It's like a Page Six headline minus the whole celebrity aspect.
18. The user interface of Facebook is becoming more and more like putting together a Dalmation jigsaw puzzle.
19. Similarly, posting a YouTube video on someone's wall is much harder than one would expect.
20. Profile picture cropping: it's hilarious to see the lengths people go to to crop themselves out of a group picture. It's pretty desperate. I mean, do you look THAT good in this one ensembled-photo op or do you generally take bad pictures and have nothing else to work with?
21. Facebook notes. What is the point? No one will take anything you say seriously if it's via a Facebook note.
22. Facebook has practically eliminated the chance for most users to ever become President. You know there's something, somewhere, that you're not proud of...on Facebook.
23. The illusion of friends. In real life, I have about 15 people I'd call actual friends. On Facebook, I have 160 friends, which has been slimmed down from a previous tally of 235. Facebook is a social fantasy land.
24. Have people finally stopped buying gifts? I mean, it is/was the equivolent of putting a dollar bill through a paper shredder, then placing the money shreds in a hamster cage for your hamster to shit, pee, and sleep on.
25. It's very possible that your Mom has a Facebook profile. Need I say more?
Nope.
Reasons Why I Like Facebook
1. If you didn't have a Facebook profile, I'd question the content of your character as well as assume you were a psychotic, pervert serial killer whose anonyminity is crucial to fulfilling a mission of hiding in someone's closet while they get ready for bed then pouncing on them the very second their eyes close, then of course stabbing them repeatedly until their neighbors report suspicious sounds coming from next door.
Simply put, if you don't have a Facebook profile...something's wrong with you.
5.05.2009
Them, there snakes aren't the friendly-type?
Rattlesnakes Bite 4 Over Weekend
UPDATED: 9:17 am MST May 5, 2009
PHOENIX -- Banner Poison Control Center treated four patients this past weekend for rattlesnake bites. There have been eight victims in the past week.
Experts said that means this is the time to take precautions; rattlesnakes are particularly active when daytime temperatures remain above 82 degrees Fahrenheit.
Patrick Hotchkiss of Quartzsite, Ariz., was one of the victims. He had just stepped off his porch Sunday afternoon when he was struck.
"I felt two sharp things, sort of akin to piece of broken glass that snaps off," said Patrick Hotchkiss, from his hospital bed at Banner Good Samaritan Hospital.
Hotchkiss said this particular rattlesnake was about 2-and-a-half feet long and did not rattle prior to striking.
"I should've been more vigilant. Usually I am," said Hotchkiss.
Doctors said one man was bitten on the hand after trying to pet a rattlesnake. They said the man had been drinking prior to the incident.
“We've seen several people who've tried petting a rattlesnake, and even on occasion people trying to kiss one. Any of those things usually result in the patient getting bitten," said Dr. Michael Levine, a toxicologist at Banner Poison Control Center.
Rattlesnakes Bite 4 Over Weekend
UPDATED: 9:17 am MST May 5, 2009
PHOENIX -- Banner Poison Control Center treated four patients this past weekend for rattlesnake bites. There have been eight victims in the past week.
Experts said that means this is the time to take precautions; rattlesnakes are particularly active when daytime temperatures remain above 82 degrees Fahrenheit.
Patrick Hotchkiss of Quartzsite, Ariz., was one of the victims. He had just stepped off his porch Sunday afternoon when he was struck.
"I felt two sharp things, sort of akin to piece of broken glass that snaps off," said Patrick Hotchkiss, from his hospital bed at Banner Good Samaritan Hospital.
Hotchkiss said this particular rattlesnake was about 2-and-a-half feet long and did not rattle prior to striking.
"I should've been more vigilant. Usually I am," said Hotchkiss.
Doctors said one man was bitten on the hand after trying to pet a rattlesnake. They said the man had been drinking prior to the incident.
“We've seen several people who've tried petting a rattlesnake, and even on occasion people trying to kiss one. Any of those things usually result in the patient getting bitten," said Dr. Michael Levine, a toxicologist at Banner Poison Control Center.
it's like i want to wake up
and have nothing be the same
as it was
rather how it is in my head
how it's supposed to be
laid out
in front of me
that moment
that feeling
intertwined from ideal to reality
i pictured it
the weather was dark
but i felt safe
at peace
my priorites meant something
other than surviving.
i always see that bed
that headboard
and those white sheets
i'm there
and as i look out the window
nothing stops me
from getting up
the world at my disposal
to see
to live.
now do it.
and have nothing be the same
as it was
rather how it is in my head
how it's supposed to be
laid out
in front of me
that moment
that feeling
intertwined from ideal to reality
i pictured it
the weather was dark
but i felt safe
at peace
my priorites meant something
other than surviving.
i always see that bed
that headboard
and those white sheets
i'm there
and as i look out the window
nothing stops me
from getting up
the world at my disposal
to see
to live.
now do it.
5.04.2009
the bible of ryansumner, cont'd:
51. When wearing flip flops, make sure your feet are socially presentable. If you have weird toes, toenails, whatever else, make sure to figure it out before presenting them to the world.
52. You can never go wrong with a fitted T, a great pair of denim, nikes, and a pair of aviators. 100% classic and always sex-appealing.
53. Peanut butter: eat in moderation. You know how you are.
54. Quit when you’re ahead.
55. There’s a fine line separating a man bag from a gay purse. No Puma bags. No tiny back packs. No Luis, D&G, Burberry or anything else with a pattern. All of these are over-the-top and scream pansy. It’s all in the strap, the bag itself, and how it hangs about your body. Choose wisely.
56. Skinny jeans – this has yet to be decided. I’m almost positive I don’t like the way I look in them but I really haven’t given them a fair chance yet. I’ll stamp TBD on this until further review. Just be careful.
57. Hipster is an acquired taste and posers can certainly be spotted. Easily. There’s a middle ground somewhere and I experiment with it often. No, you won’t catch me on a 10 speed though.
58. Speaking of, take extreme caution when shopping at Diesel. The jeans – all day. But shirts, t-shirts, and accessories? Probably not. And the underwear? Never.
59. Resist fountain pop at all costs. Yes, it sounds like an amazing thing. So delicious and refreshing. BUT, your teeth are white, your weight is good, and your personality is consistent. Therefore pop will do you no favors. Water with lemon, all the way.
60. I just figured this out, the less you do with your hair…the better. A no-fuss look is SO much better than douchebag hair; i.e. see Adam Lambert, Zac Efron, or 85% of Minibar patrons.
61. Paper towels should never be considered napkins or Kleenex. They have a pre-determined function: spills.
62. Six inches is plenty. A footlong is too much. That’s all I have to say about that.
63. Use caution at the iTunes store. The 25 second preview is sometimes not enough to make a rational decision. Make sure you LOVE the song before you buy it. We’re in a recession after all.
64. Also, bands like All American Rejects, Fall Out Boy and similar are very tricky. Their songs are good at first…until you hear it a couple more times then decide you’re over it already, fading into oblivion and taking up space in your iTunes library. Annoying.
65. The less keys the better. I have 7 and that’s way too much.
66. Key rings should have ONE object to hold on to. And it should be simple. Beer openers, LipSmackers, pieces of plastic with "funny" sayings on them, and similar are never options. Ever. We all know that one girl in high school that had one of those horrifyingly endless key rings filled to the max with objects you could by at Spencer’s Gifts or any souvenir shop. Sick. Never be her.
67. Interior design, pizza, wardrobe, and hair product: less is more. Do not OD.
68. Don’t forget to update your Twitter, and never leave posted an @ reply. That’s like walking into the middle of someone else’s conversation. Completely uninteresting and awkward.
69. Remain interesting at all times. If you feel even a glimmer of drab approaching, something’s wrong. Do something creative immediately.
70. Do not buy something at Goodwill or Brown Elephant if it’s even slightly overpriced. It was donated to them. Those effers at the BE sometimes put ridiculous prices on absolute junk. It is not a deal by any means. Screw them. I don’t care where the money supposedly goes. I’m not paying $60 for that old console table, especially considering the drawer on the right doesn’t even shut all the way without a fight.
71. Confidence and ego are two separate things. Always be confident. Walk with your head upright. Face the world. But reveal your ego and its over. So unattractive.
72. Drugs are bad. Make sure to put it out there that you do not do them. Ever.
73. Keep your YouTube Vlog under 5 minutes.
74. Your phone and your keys should be kept in separate pockets. Scratches make you really upset.
75. Generic pens also make you really upset. You’re also really bad at using highlighters. Avoid both.
51. When wearing flip flops, make sure your feet are socially presentable. If you have weird toes, toenails, whatever else, make sure to figure it out before presenting them to the world.
52. You can never go wrong with a fitted T, a great pair of denim, nikes, and a pair of aviators. 100% classic and always sex-appealing.
53. Peanut butter: eat in moderation. You know how you are.
54. Quit when you’re ahead.
55. There’s a fine line separating a man bag from a gay purse. No Puma bags. No tiny back packs. No Luis, D&G, Burberry or anything else with a pattern. All of these are over-the-top and scream pansy. It’s all in the strap, the bag itself, and how it hangs about your body. Choose wisely.
56. Skinny jeans – this has yet to be decided. I’m almost positive I don’t like the way I look in them but I really haven’t given them a fair chance yet. I’ll stamp TBD on this until further review. Just be careful.
57. Hipster is an acquired taste and posers can certainly be spotted. Easily. There’s a middle ground somewhere and I experiment with it often. No, you won’t catch me on a 10 speed though.
58. Speaking of, take extreme caution when shopping at Diesel. The jeans – all day. But shirts, t-shirts, and accessories? Probably not. And the underwear? Never.
59. Resist fountain pop at all costs. Yes, it sounds like an amazing thing. So delicious and refreshing. BUT, your teeth are white, your weight is good, and your personality is consistent. Therefore pop will do you no favors. Water with lemon, all the way.
60. I just figured this out, the less you do with your hair…the better. A no-fuss look is SO much better than douchebag hair; i.e. see Adam Lambert, Zac Efron, or 85% of Minibar patrons.
61. Paper towels should never be considered napkins or Kleenex. They have a pre-determined function: spills.
62. Six inches is plenty. A footlong is too much. That’s all I have to say about that.
63. Use caution at the iTunes store. The 25 second preview is sometimes not enough to make a rational decision. Make sure you LOVE the song before you buy it. We’re in a recession after all.
64. Also, bands like All American Rejects, Fall Out Boy and similar are very tricky. Their songs are good at first…until you hear it a couple more times then decide you’re over it already, fading into oblivion and taking up space in your iTunes library. Annoying.
65. The less keys the better. I have 7 and that’s way too much.
66. Key rings should have ONE object to hold on to. And it should be simple. Beer openers, LipSmackers, pieces of plastic with "funny" sayings on them, and similar are never options. Ever. We all know that one girl in high school that had one of those horrifyingly endless key rings filled to the max with objects you could by at Spencer’s Gifts or any souvenir shop. Sick. Never be her.
67. Interior design, pizza, wardrobe, and hair product: less is more. Do not OD.
68. Don’t forget to update your Twitter, and never leave posted an @ reply. That’s like walking into the middle of someone else’s conversation. Completely uninteresting and awkward.
69. Remain interesting at all times. If you feel even a glimmer of drab approaching, something’s wrong. Do something creative immediately.
70. Do not buy something at Goodwill or Brown Elephant if it’s even slightly overpriced. It was donated to them. Those effers at the BE sometimes put ridiculous prices on absolute junk. It is not a deal by any means. Screw them. I don’t care where the money supposedly goes. I’m not paying $60 for that old console table, especially considering the drawer on the right doesn’t even shut all the way without a fight.
71. Confidence and ego are two separate things. Always be confident. Walk with your head upright. Face the world. But reveal your ego and its over. So unattractive.
72. Drugs are bad. Make sure to put it out there that you do not do them. Ever.
73. Keep your YouTube Vlog under 5 minutes.
74. Your phone and your keys should be kept in separate pockets. Scratches make you really upset.
75. Generic pens also make you really upset. You’re also really bad at using highlighters. Avoid both.
I found this amusing on an early Monday morning. So, some freakshow with gross hair jumps on stage at a Connecticut Britney Spears concert during the Womanizer finale...um, upon seeing the guy, Brit does something really weird, something very similar to that of a stroke. Insta-stroke. I watched it a million times and I, for the life of me, cannot figure out what she was doing/saying/what was happening in general. He definitely surprised her. It didn't last long as her backup dancers saved the day. But still. WTF just happened? And...is it just me or does the concert look REALLY stupid? Brit doesn't sing and she barely even dances? She just bops around, but barely even bopping. More like jiggling. C'mon.
Anyway, the stroke happens around the 3 minute mark:
Anyway, the stroke happens around the 3 minute mark:
5.01.2009
4.30.2009
I thought this was worth reposting, and I updated it for spring/summer 2009:
Rules I Live By: the bible of ryansumner
1. Always be seen smiling. Even if it hurts. Unless you can manage a perfect Zoolander look with a nice pair of shades on. Hot.
2. Never own average-sized cereal bowls, wineglasses, coffee mugs, or conditioner. Now that it's closer to summer, no more Apple-Cinnamon Cheerios. Sugar is the enemy.
3. White socks never go above the lowest part of your ankle. Do you even wear socks with Vans?
4. Always have bread available; possibilities for quick meals are endless with a loaf of bread. 2 slices a day, that's IT.
5. Never be shirtless in a bar or club. Ever. The beach...that's it. Same goes for your Facebook profile picture. If you are sans clothing, you can consider yourself a bonafied douchebag narcissist.
6. Keep your wallet tidy and organized at all times. Nothing is worse than unfolding one of those huge, card/coupon-cluttered, quarter-pounder wallets. Gross. Also, make sure your wallet isn't in your jean pocket while doing laundry. Lesson learned the hard way.
7. Male jewelry should be kept to a minimum at all times; i.e. shell necklaces are never acceptable, nor are cuff bracelets, thumb rings, or eccentric belt buckles. Facial piercings aren't hot either, and don't even get me started on tongue piercings.
8. Keep your chin up, back straight, and shoulders back when walking. Know your angles.
9. Straws are optional. And don't chew on straws either, it looks jackass-y.
10. Keep toothbrush up-to-date. Always brush your teeth before making out with your lover, come morning.
11. Look people in the eye (or at least the facial area) when they ask you how you are doing, then return the question while keeping the focus. Until it becomes awkward, then reference the beautiful weather to bypass said awkwardness.
12. Drink a half gallon of water per day, minimum. Do not drink bottled water. It's so environmentally unfriendly and ignorant.
13. Jeans/pants should always have some sort of fit...whether its your ass, crotch, or thigh/knee. It's not always just a waist/length scenario. Avoid potato sacks at all times. And please God, I'm hoping for less plaid shorts and matching tshirts this year. That fashion statement died before it started.
14. Choose a liquor you can mix with water. Keeps you hydrated throughout the night and validates your "I never get hangovers!" statement you always gloat about. Ryan: beer makes you look bloated and not cute. Please do not overlook this factoid.
15. Vodka raises your body temperature, making you appear red and/or sweaty. Avoid it. Vodka and beer...big no-no's.
16. Facebook status messages shouldn't purposely evoke self-pity, emotional disturbance, or inner/outer turmoil. Keep it light. Facebook status updates are a form of torture and should be outlawed, just like waterboarding.
17. Also, and similar to rule #5, never be shirtless in your social-networking site's profile picture. I should have known I put this in the rules list. It's such a big no-no. And if you don't consider it one, check yourself.
18. Always lock the bathroom door, even if you're alone. And lock your bedroom door too...people have been known to come in at the worst times.
19. Move toward the back of the bus. Up front is nothing but geriatrics and weirdos. And they tend to smell the worst on hot, summer days.
20. On a first date, choose something on the menu you can eat with a fork. Second date, anything goes. Hamburgers should probably be kept to a minimum though because if it's a good hamburger, you'll have to open your mouth really wide in order to eat it and, in doing so, you'll more than likely make a horrifyingly ugly face while chomping into it.
21. Give restaurant leftovers to the homeless; you're not going to eat it anyway, especially if it has lettuce on it. But that Streetwise magazine? I can't get myself to buy it. Please leave me alone.
22. Bye, not buh-bye. I'm a firm believer in seeyaaaa too.
23. Red and yellow are not your colors. Neither is green for the most part.
24. Never blow your nose in earshot of another person, unless it's unpreventable. And if you have a sick ass cough, take it elsewhere, too.
25. Generally, 3 minutes in the microwave or 425 degrees in the oven for cooking anything that's frozen. Watch out for steam when using the microwave though. Those steam-fresh bags are known killers.
26. If you're getting ice cream, Starbucks dessert, or Chipotle-anything, you must first walk to (and later from) its farthest location, within reason. Chipotle is pretty much off the menu for the next 4 months. Think big picture Ryan.
27. Get out of bed immediately after you turn off the alarm. If you pause and close your eyes, you're a goner. This is probably one of the truest realizations I've ever had. Good thing I don't punch a timecard.
28. You'll never find what you're looking for in a bar. You know it to be true. This is up for debate right now.
29. LOL is not in your vocabulary. Neither is lol. Totes and FML are over with too.
30. Never answer a cell phone call when someone is talking to you. It's always rude. Same goes for texting. You'll get an instant re-evaluation if you do this in my presence.
31. Do not be rude to people, unless they have it coming. Let them be rude to you first then really sock it to them. You'll sleep better under that scenario.
32. Spend money on good bedding. And keep your bed made when not in it. I hate disheveled sheets and blankets.
33. Do not overspend on shoes, no one looks at them anyway unless you're a girl. But avoid bad shoes--people will judge you based on the bad ones. For sure. Not that you care, but you know you've done it to others. Vans are so hot.
34. You need Centrum. Don't forget to take it every day. I always forget to take my Centrum. I'll get better, I swear.
35. I swear, the air that comes out of the overhead airplane vent thing irritates my skin. Turn it off, or flow it in a direction that does not hit your face. And shower immediately after arriving to your lodging destination. Airports/planes are FULL of germs.
36. Trees cry when you pick off their leaves for no reason. And it's pretty much never funny to shake a tree branch over top of someone after it rains. I can take a joke but I can also get real pissed real quick.
37. If you think that it might be just a little too small, it's too small. This is about t-shirts. And I stand by this 100%.
38. Exclamations points should be used sparingly! And if you do in fact use them, 1 is more than enough.
39. One pump of butter at the movie theatre, one dollop of sour cream, and 3 donut holes, max. Anything more than that and you're asking for it. I ask for it all the time. I'm only human.
40. 180's will never touch your head again. Never again. What were you thinking in the first place? Thank god this is not applicable to the upcoming seasons. Sick.
41. Redbox is a one day rental. ONE DAY. Not two. Not three. One. That's why it costs $1. Take it back the next day. The next time you see $3 on your receipt email, don't be so surprised and feel so cheated. Don't even use Redbox, go outside and enjoy 3D LIFE.
42. Lotion should always be accessible. Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize. Don't forget sunblock...fine lines appear with age.
43. Make a list. You'll never remember everything. Plus, how good does that check mark feel? The best. Unless you're in a grocery store, in which case its perfectly acceptable and enjoyable to meander the aisles.
44. Do not return phone calls with a follow-up email or text message. If possible, do not take more than an hour to respond to a text message...keeping people hanging is always annoying.
45. Year-round warm weather is for lazy, uninspired people. Embrace the cold. Embrace the elements. Feel the wrath. Revel in surviving. Spring is that much prettier and summer is that much more sacred. WORD UP MY CALIFORNIA/FLORIDA readers.
46. If you're ever thinking in depth, pondering life, choosing a route--play Feist or Air in the background. It helps. Or Electric President.
47. Spelling and punctuation are almost always necessary. Also, think before and while you speak. Be aware of your surroundings. Determine a level of appropriateness. Know when to change the subject. Know when to leave. If you feel even the slightest bit drunk, do not start speaking your mind unless it's to a drunk audience.
48. Class before ass. WORD UP. This rule will never change.
49. You hate bragging. If it's on your end though, recognize the bragging opportunity and avoid it. Subtle it down. And, if all you have to talk about is working out or the gym, you need to broaden your horizons. This is the downfall of my community, too vein for their own good. Anyone can have a hot body. It's not that hard. Sell yourself a little deeper, ok?
50. Be happy with what you have, what you can do, and who you are, even when you stray from the rules. Word.
Rules I Live By: the bible of ryansumner
1. Always be seen smiling. Even if it hurts. Unless you can manage a perfect Zoolander look with a nice pair of shades on. Hot.
2. Never own average-sized cereal bowls, wineglasses, coffee mugs, or conditioner. Now that it's closer to summer, no more Apple-Cinnamon Cheerios. Sugar is the enemy.
3. White socks never go above the lowest part of your ankle. Do you even wear socks with Vans?
4. Always have bread available; possibilities for quick meals are endless with a loaf of bread. 2 slices a day, that's IT.
5. Never be shirtless in a bar or club. Ever. The beach...that's it. Same goes for your Facebook profile picture. If you are sans clothing, you can consider yourself a bonafied douchebag narcissist.
6. Keep your wallet tidy and organized at all times. Nothing is worse than unfolding one of those huge, card/coupon-cluttered, quarter-pounder wallets. Gross. Also, make sure your wallet isn't in your jean pocket while doing laundry. Lesson learned the hard way.
7. Male jewelry should be kept to a minimum at all times; i.e. shell necklaces are never acceptable, nor are cuff bracelets, thumb rings, or eccentric belt buckles. Facial piercings aren't hot either, and don't even get me started on tongue piercings.
8. Keep your chin up, back straight, and shoulders back when walking. Know your angles.
9. Straws are optional. And don't chew on straws either, it looks jackass-y.
10. Keep toothbrush up-to-date. Always brush your teeth before making out with your lover, come morning.
11. Look people in the eye (or at least the facial area) when they ask you how you are doing, then return the question while keeping the focus. Until it becomes awkward, then reference the beautiful weather to bypass said awkwardness.
12. Drink a half gallon of water per day, minimum. Do not drink bottled water. It's so environmentally unfriendly and ignorant.
13. Jeans/pants should always have some sort of fit...whether its your ass, crotch, or thigh/knee. It's not always just a waist/length scenario. Avoid potato sacks at all times. And please God, I'm hoping for less plaid shorts and matching tshirts this year. That fashion statement died before it started.
14. Choose a liquor you can mix with water. Keeps you hydrated throughout the night and validates your "I never get hangovers!" statement you always gloat about. Ryan: beer makes you look bloated and not cute. Please do not overlook this factoid.
15. Vodka raises your body temperature, making you appear red and/or sweaty. Avoid it. Vodka and beer...big no-no's.
16. Facebook status messages shouldn't purposely evoke self-pity, emotional disturbance, or inner/outer turmoil. Keep it light. Facebook status updates are a form of torture and should be outlawed, just like waterboarding.
17. Also, and similar to rule #5, never be shirtless in your social-networking site's profile picture. I should have known I put this in the rules list. It's such a big no-no. And if you don't consider it one, check yourself.
18. Always lock the bathroom door, even if you're alone. And lock your bedroom door too...people have been known to come in at the worst times.
19. Move toward the back of the bus. Up front is nothing but geriatrics and weirdos. And they tend to smell the worst on hot, summer days.
20. On a first date, choose something on the menu you can eat with a fork. Second date, anything goes. Hamburgers should probably be kept to a minimum though because if it's a good hamburger, you'll have to open your mouth really wide in order to eat it and, in doing so, you'll more than likely make a horrifyingly ugly face while chomping into it.
21. Give restaurant leftovers to the homeless; you're not going to eat it anyway, especially if it has lettuce on it. But that Streetwise magazine? I can't get myself to buy it. Please leave me alone.
22. Bye, not buh-bye. I'm a firm believer in seeyaaaa too.
23. Red and yellow are not your colors. Neither is green for the most part.
24. Never blow your nose in earshot of another person, unless it's unpreventable. And if you have a sick ass cough, take it elsewhere, too.
25. Generally, 3 minutes in the microwave or 425 degrees in the oven for cooking anything that's frozen. Watch out for steam when using the microwave though. Those steam-fresh bags are known killers.
26. If you're getting ice cream, Starbucks dessert, or Chipotle-anything, you must first walk to (and later from) its farthest location, within reason. Chipotle is pretty much off the menu for the next 4 months. Think big picture Ryan.
27. Get out of bed immediately after you turn off the alarm. If you pause and close your eyes, you're a goner. This is probably one of the truest realizations I've ever had. Good thing I don't punch a timecard.
28. You'll never find what you're looking for in a bar. You know it to be true. This is up for debate right now.
29. LOL is not in your vocabulary. Neither is lol. Totes and FML are over with too.
30. Never answer a cell phone call when someone is talking to you. It's always rude. Same goes for texting. You'll get an instant re-evaluation if you do this in my presence.
31. Do not be rude to people, unless they have it coming. Let them be rude to you first then really sock it to them. You'll sleep better under that scenario.
32. Spend money on good bedding. And keep your bed made when not in it. I hate disheveled sheets and blankets.
33. Do not overspend on shoes, no one looks at them anyway unless you're a girl. But avoid bad shoes--people will judge you based on the bad ones. For sure. Not that you care, but you know you've done it to others. Vans are so hot.
34. You need Centrum. Don't forget to take it every day. I always forget to take my Centrum. I'll get better, I swear.
35. I swear, the air that comes out of the overhead airplane vent thing irritates my skin. Turn it off, or flow it in a direction that does not hit your face. And shower immediately after arriving to your lodging destination. Airports/planes are FULL of germs.
36. Trees cry when you pick off their leaves for no reason. And it's pretty much never funny to shake a tree branch over top of someone after it rains. I can take a joke but I can also get real pissed real quick.
37. If you think that it might be just a little too small, it's too small. This is about t-shirts. And I stand by this 100%.
38. Exclamations points should be used sparingly! And if you do in fact use them, 1 is more than enough.
39. One pump of butter at the movie theatre, one dollop of sour cream, and 3 donut holes, max. Anything more than that and you're asking for it. I ask for it all the time. I'm only human.
40. 180's will never touch your head again. Never again. What were you thinking in the first place? Thank god this is not applicable to the upcoming seasons. Sick.
41. Redbox is a one day rental. ONE DAY. Not two. Not three. One. That's why it costs $1. Take it back the next day. The next time you see $3 on your receipt email, don't be so surprised and feel so cheated. Don't even use Redbox, go outside and enjoy 3D LIFE.
42. Lotion should always be accessible. Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize. Don't forget sunblock...fine lines appear with age.
43. Make a list. You'll never remember everything. Plus, how good does that check mark feel? The best. Unless you're in a grocery store, in which case its perfectly acceptable and enjoyable to meander the aisles.
44. Do not return phone calls with a follow-up email or text message. If possible, do not take more than an hour to respond to a text message...keeping people hanging is always annoying.
45. Year-round warm weather is for lazy, uninspired people. Embrace the cold. Embrace the elements. Feel the wrath. Revel in surviving. Spring is that much prettier and summer is that much more sacred. WORD UP MY CALIFORNIA/FLORIDA readers.
46. If you're ever thinking in depth, pondering life, choosing a route--play Feist or Air in the background. It helps. Or Electric President.
47. Spelling and punctuation are almost always necessary. Also, think before and while you speak. Be aware of your surroundings. Determine a level of appropriateness. Know when to change the subject. Know when to leave. If you feel even the slightest bit drunk, do not start speaking your mind unless it's to a drunk audience.
48. Class before ass. WORD UP. This rule will never change.
49. You hate bragging. If it's on your end though, recognize the bragging opportunity and avoid it. Subtle it down. And, if all you have to talk about is working out or the gym, you need to broaden your horizons. This is the downfall of my community, too vein for their own good. Anyone can have a hot body. It's not that hard. Sell yourself a little deeper, ok?
50. Be happy with what you have, what you can do, and who you are, even when you stray from the rules. Word.
Beef.
I've got some.
It's rainy, it's gloomy, I got up early today, and it's just one of those days where simple things annoy me. Where do I begin:
-This morning I linked to a CNN story from my friend Tlaloc's blog. Upon reading it I immediately felt utterly confused, bewildered, and unintelligent. I typically regard myself as having an "average" intelligence, much like I have an average height, so the fact that I couldn't even begin to wrap my head around this story is really frustrating. The whole story about the star exploding doesn't make sense to me in addition to the article making statements like "13 billion years ago this star exploded" and "at that point the universe was only 600 million years old"...how do we, as mere specks of existence in a universe that essentially has no limitations or boundaries, is so infinite and 99% undiscovered...how could any Earthling possibly measure the age of the universe, it's beginnings, and/or what happened 13 billion years ago? I just don't get it--I feel completely inadequate when trying to envision how the universe was created and how I fit into all of that. It's mind-boggling.
-For some reason the Spanish language came into my mind. Then I thought about all of those backwoods people that are like "don't speak Mexican in America!" or however their rants go. I can see both sides. If Mexican or Spanish individuals live in the United States, they should speak English as a second language. ESL classes should be mandated for children to have as a resource. There is no reason for there to be a language barrier between American citizens. I wouldn't move to Spain and assume that people are going to know how to speak English.
-Stop saying "FML." I tweeted that I declared it over. And I stand by that. Essentially it's an over-dramatization and attention-needy statement people use to invoke sympathy and/or sympathetic humor. There are real problems in this world that need attention, the fact that you forgot your umbrella during a rainstorm is not FML-worthy. You just come across as dumb and whiny. Sorry.
-I sat next to someone on the bus today who was reading a book electronically...on this book-looking contraption that apparently you can download multiple books onto and read wherever with this portable, electronic book. What a ridiculous idea. Why do we have to modernize books? Why would you potentially create a machine that would threaten the livelihood of publishers, book retailers, and libraries? Books are sexy. Home libraries are sexy. Books on tape and these newfangled electronic books are not sexy. They're about as sexy as a Snuggie. Absolutely ridiculous and unnecessary. I wanted to hit that guy square in the nose for reading his electronic book. I know that's wrong, but I did. It would go something like this:
-People who leave unnecessary, stupid comments on YouTube videos. Why bother? I mean, really, I feel like there's a LOT of people who post hateful, rude messages about videos they see on YouTube. Threads and threads of one hateful comment after another. And then all these YouTube commenters get in fights with one another over the comments in question, some being like, "Hey, that's mean!" And then the hateful YouTubers are like "Well you're a fat bitch!" to which I'm completely sure none of these people have ever met in real life, adding to the ridiculousness of the entire situation. It's all so unnecessary. Someone wrote "vomit" about one of my videos. What is the point of that? You want to be rude to someone just because you can? Get real and be normal for five seconds. Even when that guy was reading an electronic book on the bus I didn't say anything to him to let him know that what he was doing was incredibly retarded.
-This hoopla about the first 100 days of President Obama is sort of getting under my skin. Why do we treat our President like he's some cute kitten playing with a ball of yarn? I don't get it. Let the hate mail officially begin about how I supposedly hate Obama and am a big ol' racist. Whatever. Just keep people in power accountable and on-task. Don't bring stupid shit into the process like the arms of the First Lady or Obama's Blackberry obsession. And god forbid one more news story is written about that dumb dog of theirs.
Crab ass, I know.
I am what I am.
Perfectly imperfect...and a crab ass.
I've got some.
It's rainy, it's gloomy, I got up early today, and it's just one of those days where simple things annoy me. Where do I begin:
-This morning I linked to a CNN story from my friend Tlaloc's blog. Upon reading it I immediately felt utterly confused, bewildered, and unintelligent. I typically regard myself as having an "average" intelligence, much like I have an average height, so the fact that I couldn't even begin to wrap my head around this story is really frustrating. The whole story about the star exploding doesn't make sense to me in addition to the article making statements like "13 billion years ago this star exploded" and "at that point the universe was only 600 million years old"...how do we, as mere specks of existence in a universe that essentially has no limitations or boundaries, is so infinite and 99% undiscovered...how could any Earthling possibly measure the age of the universe, it's beginnings, and/or what happened 13 billion years ago? I just don't get it--I feel completely inadequate when trying to envision how the universe was created and how I fit into all of that. It's mind-boggling.
-For some reason the Spanish language came into my mind. Then I thought about all of those backwoods people that are like "don't speak Mexican in America!" or however their rants go. I can see both sides. If Mexican or Spanish individuals live in the United States, they should speak English as a second language. ESL classes should be mandated for children to have as a resource. There is no reason for there to be a language barrier between American citizens. I wouldn't move to Spain and assume that people are going to know how to speak English.
-Stop saying "FML." I tweeted that I declared it over. And I stand by that. Essentially it's an over-dramatization and attention-needy statement people use to invoke sympathy and/or sympathetic humor. There are real problems in this world that need attention, the fact that you forgot your umbrella during a rainstorm is not FML-worthy. You just come across as dumb and whiny. Sorry.
-I sat next to someone on the bus today who was reading a book electronically...on this book-looking contraption that apparently you can download multiple books onto and read wherever with this portable, electronic book. What a ridiculous idea. Why do we have to modernize books? Why would you potentially create a machine that would threaten the livelihood of publishers, book retailers, and libraries? Books are sexy. Home libraries are sexy. Books on tape and these newfangled electronic books are not sexy. They're about as sexy as a Snuggie. Absolutely ridiculous and unnecessary. I wanted to hit that guy square in the nose for reading his electronic book. I know that's wrong, but I did. It would go something like this:
-People who leave unnecessary, stupid comments on YouTube videos. Why bother? I mean, really, I feel like there's a LOT of people who post hateful, rude messages about videos they see on YouTube. Threads and threads of one hateful comment after another. And then all these YouTube commenters get in fights with one another over the comments in question, some being like, "Hey, that's mean!" And then the hateful YouTubers are like "Well you're a fat bitch!" to which I'm completely sure none of these people have ever met in real life, adding to the ridiculousness of the entire situation. It's all so unnecessary. Someone wrote "vomit" about one of my videos. What is the point of that? You want to be rude to someone just because you can? Get real and be normal for five seconds. Even when that guy was reading an electronic book on the bus I didn't say anything to him to let him know that what he was doing was incredibly retarded.
-This hoopla about the first 100 days of President Obama is sort of getting under my skin. Why do we treat our President like he's some cute kitten playing with a ball of yarn? I don't get it. Let the hate mail officially begin about how I supposedly hate Obama and am a big ol' racist. Whatever. Just keep people in power accountable and on-task. Don't bring stupid shit into the process like the arms of the First Lady or Obama's Blackberry obsession. And god forbid one more news story is written about that dumb dog of theirs.
Crab ass, I know.
I am what I am.
Perfectly imperfect...and a crab ass.
4.29.2009
So, so interesting:
The religious journey is 99% repetition, because we are all conditioned to obey ego needs, to cling to old habits. We have our ways of doing things, most of them totally dependent on the past. Sheer inertia would defeat the soul were it not for its magnetic pull. That is why it's useful to cooperate in your own awakening--your enemy is not evil, but lack of attention. The various practices known as prayer, meditation, contemplation, and yoga have been highly valued over the centuries because they sharpen attention and make it easier not to miss the clues to spiritual reality. A spiritual person is a good listener for silent voices, a sharp observer of invisible objects. These traits are more important than trying to act in a way that God would reward with a gold star. The second principle of the saints can be dramatized like the first, through the inner voice that plays its beliefs over and over in your head until you move on to a new belief, bringing with it a new voice.
-Deepak Chopra
Find peace. Find God. Do good. And be happy. That's the purpose of life.
Solved.
-ryansumner
The religious journey is 99% repetition, because we are all conditioned to obey ego needs, to cling to old habits. We have our ways of doing things, most of them totally dependent on the past. Sheer inertia would defeat the soul were it not for its magnetic pull. That is why it's useful to cooperate in your own awakening--your enemy is not evil, but lack of attention. The various practices known as prayer, meditation, contemplation, and yoga have been highly valued over the centuries because they sharpen attention and make it easier not to miss the clues to spiritual reality. A spiritual person is a good listener for silent voices, a sharp observer of invisible objects. These traits are more important than trying to act in a way that God would reward with a gold star. The second principle of the saints can be dramatized like the first, through the inner voice that plays its beliefs over and over in your head until you move on to a new belief, bringing with it a new voice.
-Deepak Chopra
Find peace. Find God. Do good. And be happy. That's the purpose of life.
Solved.
-ryansumner
4.28.2009
Heard last night: It Ain't Over til It's Over by Lenny Kravitz
Great song. Forgot how much I loved it. It's weird how some songs just hit you, strike you differently...like holy shizz, YES, I love this song. Music that you can just have playing in the background, making everything seem extra chilled out, extra OK.
Download it. Chill. Thank me later.
Great song. Forgot how much I loved it. It's weird how some songs just hit you, strike you differently...like holy shizz, YES, I love this song. Music that you can just have playing in the background, making everything seem extra chilled out, extra OK.
Download it. Chill. Thank me later.
4.27.2009
4.26.2009
4.24.2009
Life:
Boxer in a ring, tryin to defend myself.
Life:
The worms that come out of the ground (or the sky?) at the beginning of each spring, lying on every sidewalk and road. I passed by a million of them this morning on a jog. Their bodies constantly stretching across the gradually heating asphalt road...tiny pieces of gravel sticking to their bodies as they desperately crawl across before they begin to fry. Then the flies come to harvest its failure. Those vultures. Do any of the worms make it? Is it possible? The body count was high. I helped one along. Godspeed.
Life:
Opening my eyes in the morning.
Life:
It's a beautiful morning, a beautiful day, with a beautiful family. And pancakes. Lots of pancakes.
Take it all into perspective.
Life:
It ebbs and flows.
Boxer in a ring, tryin to defend myself.
Life:
The worms that come out of the ground (or the sky?) at the beginning of each spring, lying on every sidewalk and road. I passed by a million of them this morning on a jog. Their bodies constantly stretching across the gradually heating asphalt road...tiny pieces of gravel sticking to their bodies as they desperately crawl across before they begin to fry. Then the flies come to harvest its failure. Those vultures. Do any of the worms make it? Is it possible? The body count was high. I helped one along. Godspeed.
Life:
Opening my eyes in the morning.
Life:
It's a beautiful morning, a beautiful day, with a beautiful family. And pancakes. Lots of pancakes.
Take it all into perspective.
Life:
It ebbs and flows.
4.21.2009
Carrie Prejean, Miss California:
Is it ever appropriate for Miss USA contestants to serve as the nation's moral compass? I think that's a mild conflict of interest.
Firmly believes in opposite marriage.
Despite losing, Miss California "feels like she won." Uh, well, you didn't.
In an interview, Miss California stated she crafted her response to gay marriage "biblically." What does the bible say about you strutting around in a bikini and heels for people to gawk, drool, lust, and otherwise after? WWJD?
She's in the clear though, God apparently is fully supportive of the Miss USA Pageant and everything it stands for. It was in God's plan for her to lose, but fear not, He has other biblically-founded plans in store for her, specifically as an up and coming Ms. August. Rar.
"In my country, and in my family, I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman." Well, ironically, this country belongs to a lot of peeps, so that's kind of a bitchy, selfish answer, don't you think? And by "in your family" does that mean potential GLBT Prejean family members are uninvited to Thanksgiving dinner should they opt to get married? Yikes, tough crowd. You can't sit with us!
Your spray-on tan and Crest-whitened teeth are also biblically questionable.
Many parents fear that children exposed to the gay lifestyle are being harmed and misinformed. Uh, would you let your children watch the nationally-broadcasted Miss USA Pageant? If walking around in a bikini, pose pose pose, while hoping for world peace is deemed as "character building" we got bigger problems on our hands than Frank and Joe wanting to get hitched to one another in a private ceremony.
Miss California: choose your battles. Mother Teresa never walked a runway.
Perez Hilton sucks though, too. A lot. He is not representational of the bigger picture.
Is it ever appropriate for Miss USA contestants to serve as the nation's moral compass? I think that's a mild conflict of interest.
Firmly believes in opposite marriage.
Despite losing, Miss California "feels like she won." Uh, well, you didn't.
In an interview, Miss California stated she crafted her response to gay marriage "biblically." What does the bible say about you strutting around in a bikini and heels for people to gawk, drool, lust, and otherwise after? WWJD?
She's in the clear though, God apparently is fully supportive of the Miss USA Pageant and everything it stands for. It was in God's plan for her to lose, but fear not, He has other biblically-founded plans in store for her, specifically as an up and coming Ms. August. Rar.
"In my country, and in my family, I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman." Well, ironically, this country belongs to a lot of peeps, so that's kind of a bitchy, selfish answer, don't you think? And by "in your family" does that mean potential GLBT Prejean family members are uninvited to Thanksgiving dinner should they opt to get married? Yikes, tough crowd. You can't sit with us!
Your spray-on tan and Crest-whitened teeth are also biblically questionable.
Many parents fear that children exposed to the gay lifestyle are being harmed and misinformed. Uh, would you let your children watch the nationally-broadcasted Miss USA Pageant? If walking around in a bikini, pose pose pose, while hoping for world peace is deemed as "character building" we got bigger problems on our hands than Frank and Joe wanting to get hitched to one another in a private ceremony.
Miss California: choose your battles. Mother Teresa never walked a runway.
Perez Hilton sucks though, too. A lot. He is not representational of the bigger picture.
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