10.29.2009
as i mentioned in yesterday's post, apparently there's a football team called the kansas city chiefs and apparently there's a football player named larry johnson who apparently plays for them. until recently, none of this information was on my radar.
but, larry johnson was suspended from playing football due to a gay slur escapade he went on during nfl time and on nfl property.
larry johnson has since apologized to his fans for "letting them down" but made no mention of expressing regret toward the gay men and women he actually offended. nice guy, huh! the real breaking news is that larry's lawyer is appealing the nfl's decision to suspend johnson, saying in his defense:
"we know the n word is unacceptable, that's not disputable -- but f*g? I'm learning that there's a segment of our society that finds it offensive and that it should not be used. I didn't realize that, but I do know now..."
case-in-point of yesterday's blog: the n word is completely off limits (and isn't it a coincidence that larry johnson is black?!) but the f word is fair game? and in all fairness, he didn't realize it was offensive to anyone.
(?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?)
not all is lost though, thank god he finally learned about that "segment" of society that finds it to be a big no-no. why didn't someone tell him earlier? for all he knows, he could have made the f word his son's middle name! oops! that was a close one!
i mean, he's just a lawyer, he can't know everything, geez. his townhouse is located under a rock for crying out loud! cut the man some slack...
but, larry johnson was suspended from playing football due to a gay slur escapade he went on during nfl time and on nfl property.
larry johnson has since apologized to his fans for "letting them down" but made no mention of expressing regret toward the gay men and women he actually offended. nice guy, huh! the real breaking news is that larry's lawyer is appealing the nfl's decision to suspend johnson, saying in his defense:
"we know the n word is unacceptable, that's not disputable -- but f*g? I'm learning that there's a segment of our society that finds it offensive and that it should not be used. I didn't realize that, but I do know now..."
case-in-point of yesterday's blog: the n word is completely off limits (and isn't it a coincidence that larry johnson is black?!) but the f word is fair game? and in all fairness, he didn't realize it was offensive to anyone.
(?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?)
not all is lost though, thank god he finally learned about that "segment" of society that finds it to be a big no-no. why didn't someone tell him earlier? for all he knows, he could have made the f word his son's middle name! oops! that was a close one!
i mean, he's just a lawyer, he can't know everything, geez. his townhouse is located under a rock for crying out loud! cut the man some slack...
10.28.2009
honestly, i didn't want to write this blog post...mostly because, no matter what i say, the situation is beyond my control. as most things are. i'm just one voice amid millions.
but since when did that stop me? never. so, here's what i have to say:
i refuse to live in an uneducated society. i guess that's why i always prefer to live in a city setting where a dynamic, open mindset almost always trumps the uninformed and close minded. i also refuse to live in a society that clings to their guns while memorizing bible passages. to me, discussion, awareness, and progression (none of which has to be secular) is what educates us as a people. we've come a long way in the field of education and evolution: the world is round and santa claus is not real. since these major realizations, some of us have stopped limiting our education. but, while we have indeed come a long way there's still a long way to go...for some of us...those of us without pitchforks (mondern day political signs) and on-demand-bible-verse.
that being said, let's talk about two words: n & f.
the n word - we all know what it is and dislike what it stands for. well, some of us do. personally, i would never, ever, in a million years use the n word. not in a joke, not in a gchat, not anywhere. never. it's just a word is a common response. but words have meaning. which is why the it's just a word bullshit doesn't work. if we used words that didn't have meaning...well, we wouldn't be communicating then, would we? meaningless words equate to jibberish or silence. but, regarding the standard sender-receiver level of communication, you cannot communicate a word without imparting some level of meaning or definition. it's impossible.
ok, back to the n word, my point being that society largely condemns the use of the n word. why it ever was penned in the first place (fear of the unknown - very common among white, christian land owners) is greatly disturbing. but since the (recent) dawning of equality, which now includes some minorities, we all know why the n word is off limits. we simply know better. use of the n word could destroy your entire life. you could lose your job, your reputation, respect, credibility. if none of that matters to you, well, regardless, use of the n word will automatically set you apart from society. forever you will be deemed a racist, no matter how much you apologize. you might not care that you're a racist, but you still are one.
but what's funny is that, as we all know, some people use the n word freely: black people use it all the time. according to whoopi goldberg, a la the view, black people own the n word and use it as a sense of freedom from it.
...whatever that means.
i don't agree with this mentality nor will i try to understand it, because apparently you have to be black to understand. i'm white, so what's the use? i'll just be an educated and respectful human being and choose not to use it, regardless of whoopi whipping out her race card (in case you didn't know, inscribed on the race card is "advance to go and collect $200!"
lucky whoopi. inscribed on my card is "you owe rent on st. charles place. $140."
fuck.
and then there's the f word. not fuck, no no...i obviously use that word all the time, freely. i'm talking about the gay slur. yes, that one. to me, the f word is much more interesting than the n word - only because the f word is completely fair game (somehow). despite the fact that the f word reflects an unending amount of ridicule, oppression, violence, and emasculation directly and specifically toward gay men...we, as a society, for some reason still use it. openly. all the time. the f word is said openly in conversation among everyday folk. no harm, no foul. the f word is always the punchline in a joke, gets big laughs on cable television and in the movies. it's funny, right? kids use it as a jab, as a means to tell billy he's not as tough as he thinks he is.
but to me, it's not funny at all. its not ordinary language. it's not harmless. to me, it's a derogatory word that invokes negative and hostile emotion. people use the f word to degrade homosexuals or the notion of homosexuality in the very same way the n word degrades the african american race. yet, unlike african americans, we as an "educated" people are allowed to degrade homosexuals by using this silly, little f word. in ignorant defense, somewhere in the bible apparently, it says homosexuality is an abomination. oops. so, those lovely, lovely do-gooders we call christians (aka the american majority) are therefore completely free, perhaps morally obligated, to hate, degrade, and demean those men that, keyword, choose to go against god's will by being homosexuals. so using the f word is fair game. i mean, if sinners are fallen angels, then homosexuals are obvious sinners therefore are fallen angels (and by fallen i mean they kerplunk straight to hell), therefore homosexuals are indeed f words. and god hates them! makes sense to me! start teaching that to your kids!
i don't mean to isolate christians as the sole perpetrators of the f word - plenty of straight guys, kids, and other forms of uneducated people use the f word, too. it's almost the same as, you know how christmas and easter are rightfully celebrated by christians, yet everyone else such as the sort-of-religious or not-at-all religious celebrate it too...minus the whole jc aspect? funny, right? instead of jc, they just add in their own deities like a red suit, a sleigh, some eggs, and a rabbit. same diff! so, you don't have to be religious to use the f word...ignorance is bliss, so everybody join in! but most times it stems back to the christians, the founders of this place we call the land of the free.
anyway, the ignorant side of me also wants to believe that...hey, if everyone can use the f word openly, because it's no big deal, then why can't we use the n word? hey larry johnson of the kansas city chiefs, while you're going around in fits of rage calling people the f word, i'm gonna go around and start calling people the n-word whenever i'm equally as mad!
luckily i'm not that stupid or ignorant, although i must admit i find it incredibly interesting whenever i hear black people use the f word, or have a general not-OK viewpoint on glbt issues. it's a sad day whenever a minority turns on a fellow minority.
i also thought it was funny when fans of larry johnson were quoted as saying "hey, leave larry johnson alone, free speech is his first amendment right!"
i bet michael richards wishes he had such backing...but somehow his hate rant was not in line with the first amendment...somehow. i'll need the hate transcripts, the us constitution, and some scooby snacks to figure this one out.
anyway, my long winded point is this: the f word stings just as much as the n word. these words hurt, they persecute, and they serve no purpose other than to destroy someone's self worth. is that something you feel comfortable doing? you shouldn't.
these words aren't necessary anymore, they aren't owned by those whom they disenfranchise, and they certainly aren't funny.
stop using them.
let's progress as humans, not as uneducated, bible-toting hatemongers. put down your pitchforks, bibles, and prejudices and raise up your vocabulary. raise up your tolerance.
peace.
10.27.2009
first, a shout out to tlaloc because his poppedtarts blog post about the ice skating bear made me laugh out loud unintentionally. i love animals just as much as you and I was so enraged by the shenanigans of those people and felt extremely sorry for the victim (the bear). but it was the tyra line at the end that had me rollin. mostly because when i read it i automatically put it into my inner-tyra voice and that, in itself, is totally hilar. thanks t.
secondly, i'm considering buying a home. omg.
third, can i please repeat how much i loathe halloween. idiots in costumes are everywhere and it's not even halloween yet. and, halloween enthusiasts, just because you're costumed doesn't give you the right to be annoying to strangers. yes, i'm talking to you, glenda the good witch, who was sitting next to me on the bus, then tapped me on my head with her witch wand saying that she *poof* will make me smile with her magical powers.
a) striking me with a blunt object is considered assault every day of the week, including halloween, and b) i will not smile because you're an ahole.
and last, but not least, i will be making a v-log this weekend so stay tuned!
secondly, i'm considering buying a home. omg.
third, can i please repeat how much i loathe halloween. idiots in costumes are everywhere and it's not even halloween yet. and, halloween enthusiasts, just because you're costumed doesn't give you the right to be annoying to strangers. yes, i'm talking to you, glenda the good witch, who was sitting next to me on the bus, then tapped me on my head with her witch wand saying that she *poof* will make me smile with her magical powers.
a) striking me with a blunt object is considered assault every day of the week, including halloween, and b) i will not smile because you're an ahole.
and last, but not least, i will be making a v-log this weekend so stay tuned!
10.26.2009
how fantastic would i feel if i had full hair, makeup, photoshopping, and a high-end fashion budget? probably like a million bucks! oh to be a celebrity.
i don't have any of the above. so whenever i'm on film, chances are not all of my angles will be flattering, my hair will be unruly, and my appearance horrific.
but that's what makes me who i am.
human.
and i celebrate being ugly and unkempt in this video. i watch it whenever i feel caught up.
i don't have any of the above. so whenever i'm on film, chances are not all of my angles will be flattering, my hair will be unruly, and my appearance horrific.
but that's what makes me who i am.
human.
and i celebrate being ugly and unkempt in this video. i watch it whenever i feel caught up.
fyi: the sick, disgusting part of this whole video was that i was literally waiting for the kid to fall out of his seat and to his death. sorry, but why was he allowed to ride this rollercoaster and how did he not fall out?? physics...i thought for sure he was a goner. i was nervous for him.
anyway, i love everything else about this vid...from the ohhh's to the wowww's to sounding like "ma" from babe and all things ewe-like to the varying look of both elation and fear upon his face.
but mostly the the fear...he definitely gave good "oh shit, i'm toast" face.
love it so much
anyway, i love everything else about this vid...from the ohhh's to the wowww's to sounding like "ma" from babe and all things ewe-like to the varying look of both elation and fear upon his face.
but mostly the the fear...he definitely gave good "oh shit, i'm toast" face.
love it so much
10.24.2009
cnn.com has a new layout and daddy does not like it!
like all things that receive modern updates and facelifts, it will take time, i will adjust, and life will go on...
but daddy does not like!
like all things that receive modern updates and facelifts, it will take time, i will adjust, and life will go on...
but daddy does not like!
10.23.2009
another fear has been validated. who what where when why and how?
all good questions, i'll tell you:
theory: aliens exist.
w: insects vs. aliens
w: are aliens on earth
w: all over this world
w: now
w: i just looked at this photo album of extreme closeups of insects and holy EFF...it was incredibly amazing and wildly scary at the same time. insects ARE what we perceive to be aliens. they're one in the same. if insects were any larger we'd be effed so, so bad. i hope they come in peace.
h: go to www.msnbc.com and look at the "insect slideshow" and you'll see exactly what i mean.
ps. there's a pic of a white, striped horse fly that instantaneously reminded me of kanye west during a music video. see if you know what i mean.
they're here. omg. aliens are real and they're here. how dd we not know this already?
all good questions, i'll tell you:
theory: aliens exist.
w: insects vs. aliens
w: are aliens on earth
w: all over this world
w: now
w: i just looked at this photo album of extreme closeups of insects and holy EFF...it was incredibly amazing and wildly scary at the same time. insects ARE what we perceive to be aliens. they're one in the same. if insects were any larger we'd be effed so, so bad. i hope they come in peace.
h: go to www.msnbc.com and look at the "insect slideshow" and you'll see exactly what i mean.
ps. there's a pic of a white, striped horse fly that instantaneously reminded me of kanye west during a music video. see if you know what i mean.
they're here. omg. aliens are real and they're here. how dd we not know this already?
10.22.2009
it's a weird notion to me that we (and i don't know who we are, just a collective identity i guess) are obsessed with others making us "happy."
as if you can't be a happy person on your own? nope, you need someone to reassure you that, repeat after me, yes, you are happy. even if it's the mere physical presence of another person, i.e. that relationship you've been dreaming about all your life...that's all you need to be happy? to be normal?
by golly, cling to that boyfriend/girlfriend label with your tightest death grip! they're all you have! you can't be happy alone! never let go, jack!
i've had it happen to me. a la valentines day. i was stupid:
oh god, i'm alone. nobody wants me. i must be worthless.
omg, idiot. what's the desperation about? seriously...get over yourself. why would anyone want you if that's your train of thought: i'm worthless unless someone else can see the good in me. i hope i'm good enough for someone to take a chance on.
uf.
watch a freaking romantic comedy without going WHY OH WHY CAN'T I BE IN LOVE?
stay in on a friday night without thinking AM I A BIG, FAT LOSER? PASS THE HAAGEN DAZS!
say no to that drunk man/woman at the bar I'LL TAKE YOUR LOVE, EVEN IF YOU THINK I HAVE TWO HEADS. MY PLACE OR YOURS!?
have some respect.
and get real while you're at it.
your implusive, illogical attempts for getting someone to love you depress me.
i can't imagine how you must be feeling then.
grow a pair, relax, loosen up, and don't take yourself so seriously. sociopaths aren't sexy. confidence is sexy.
own yourself.
i hope you find whatever it is that you're looking for...
but, in the meantime, i bet if you found yourself, you'd be a lot less unhappy during your pursuit.
as if you can't be a happy person on your own? nope, you need someone to reassure you that, repeat after me, yes, you are happy. even if it's the mere physical presence of another person, i.e. that relationship you've been dreaming about all your life...that's all you need to be happy? to be normal?
by golly, cling to that boyfriend/girlfriend label with your tightest death grip! they're all you have! you can't be happy alone! never let go, jack!
i've had it happen to me. a la valentines day. i was stupid:
oh god, i'm alone. nobody wants me. i must be worthless.
omg, idiot. what's the desperation about? seriously...get over yourself. why would anyone want you if that's your train of thought: i'm worthless unless someone else can see the good in me. i hope i'm good enough for someone to take a chance on.
uf.
watch a freaking romantic comedy without going WHY OH WHY CAN'T I BE IN LOVE?
stay in on a friday night without thinking AM I A BIG, FAT LOSER? PASS THE HAAGEN DAZS!
say no to that drunk man/woman at the bar I'LL TAKE YOUR LOVE, EVEN IF YOU THINK I HAVE TWO HEADS. MY PLACE OR YOURS!?
have some respect.
and get real while you're at it.
your implusive, illogical attempts for getting someone to love you depress me.
i can't imagine how you must be feeling then.
grow a pair, relax, loosen up, and don't take yourself so seriously. sociopaths aren't sexy. confidence is sexy.
own yourself.
i hope you find whatever it is that you're looking for...
but, in the meantime, i bet if you found yourself, you'd be a lot less unhappy during your pursuit.
10.21.2009
10.19.2009
hieee.
i had a great weekend. did you?
i have only a couple things to talk about today...which is surprising considering i've had the "new post" window open for hours now and i've yet to jot anything down. it's monday.
but, here's what i do have:
1) i'm still enraged at balloon boy and his freakshow family. including the dad's hairstyle. what is up with that? no pun intended. anyway, the emotions i went through that day...and for what?! a publicity stunt? all i can say is that it's a good thing for the heene family that there is a lot of ground between illinois and colorado. because if i were any closer, well...you know my position on spanking. swats for the entire clan! bare ass-style.
2) i'm 90/10 on the idea of taking a half pto day so that i can go home and nap. i'm unreal tired at the moment and being awake seems masochistic. the only thing keeping me at work is the fact that i wore a super cute outfit today and i feel that not enough people have seen me bouncing around in it yet. it's not easy, people.
3) i wanted to let you all know that i'm submitting writing posts to my friend's/coworker's site cinderblockracer.com. now, my own blog has one policy and one policy only: honesty. even when it hurts. so i will be honest and say that i have no idea what cinderblockracer.com is about. i don't even know what the name means. however, i do know that my friend allen, the site keeper, has created a nicely-designed site about most things sci-fi. and i say most things because there are a few, select items featured on the site that are non-sci fi that i surely know about, such as...music (allbeit music i've never heard of) and there are games (allbeit i've never played a playstation in my life--the controller alone intimidates me) and there are links for all things considered awesome (allbeit i would assign a wtf is that? to most said awesome stuff, because, what is it? it does what?)... so again, i say most things sci fi because not all is entirely lost on me.
ok, ok, all is pretty much entirely lost on me.
mostly because i have zero sci-fi knowledge. and yes, bear with me as i lump everything i don't understand as "sci fi." but honestly, i never watch sci-fi movies, including harry potter, lotr, spiderman, xmen...i don't read comics, i don't know alot about computers, or computer programs, i don't even know most features on my cell phone besides call, text, and brickbreaker. long story short: i don't know a lot about anything besides my own, personal, drama-fueled existence which is highlighted by my impulsive, obnoxious opinion/perspective.
there you have it folks. a day of honesty.
i'm all about letters of dissatisfaction, letters to the editor, sticking it to the man, and general observation of the negative type.
but, sometimes i branch out. such as cinderblockracer.com. and i will say that the site has a lot to offer in many, many different areas, any of which could be right up your alley. i think i could learn a lot via this site and that is what's cool about it. you know my motto is knowledge is power.
so, go to the site, peruse, and let me know what you think/someone please explain to me who and what wolverine is.
i had a great weekend. did you?
i have only a couple things to talk about today...which is surprising considering i've had the "new post" window open for hours now and i've yet to jot anything down. it's monday.
but, here's what i do have:
1) i'm still enraged at balloon boy and his freakshow family. including the dad's hairstyle. what is up with that? no pun intended. anyway, the emotions i went through that day...and for what?! a publicity stunt? all i can say is that it's a good thing for the heene family that there is a lot of ground between illinois and colorado. because if i were any closer, well...you know my position on spanking. swats for the entire clan! bare ass-style.
2) i'm 90/10 on the idea of taking a half pto day so that i can go home and nap. i'm unreal tired at the moment and being awake seems masochistic. the only thing keeping me at work is the fact that i wore a super cute outfit today and i feel that not enough people have seen me bouncing around in it yet. it's not easy, people.
3) i wanted to let you all know that i'm submitting writing posts to my friend's/coworker's site cinderblockracer.com. now, my own blog has one policy and one policy only: honesty. even when it hurts. so i will be honest and say that i have no idea what cinderblockracer.com is about. i don't even know what the name means. however, i do know that my friend allen, the site keeper, has created a nicely-designed site about most things sci-fi. and i say most things because there are a few, select items featured on the site that are non-sci fi that i surely know about, such as...music (allbeit music i've never heard of) and there are games (allbeit i've never played a playstation in my life--the controller alone intimidates me) and there are links for all things considered awesome (allbeit i would assign a wtf is that? to most said awesome stuff, because, what is it? it does what?)... so again, i say most things sci fi because not all is entirely lost on me.
ok, ok, all is pretty much entirely lost on me.
mostly because i have zero sci-fi knowledge. and yes, bear with me as i lump everything i don't understand as "sci fi." but honestly, i never watch sci-fi movies, including harry potter, lotr, spiderman, xmen...i don't read comics, i don't know alot about computers, or computer programs, i don't even know most features on my cell phone besides call, text, and brickbreaker. long story short: i don't know a lot about anything besides my own, personal, drama-fueled existence which is highlighted by my impulsive, obnoxious opinion/perspective.
there you have it folks. a day of honesty.
i'm all about letters of dissatisfaction, letters to the editor, sticking it to the man, and general observation of the negative type.
but, sometimes i branch out. such as cinderblockracer.com. and i will say that the site has a lot to offer in many, many different areas, any of which could be right up your alley. i think i could learn a lot via this site and that is what's cool about it. you know my motto is knowledge is power.
so, go to the site, peruse, and let me know what you think/someone please explain to me who and what wolverine is.
10.16.2009
after yesterday and this morning...i don't know if my longstanding desire to have children is a good idea anymore.
yes, i'm talking about balloon boy. i'm obviously not a parent of this child, related to the child, nor do i have any emotional attachment to him or his family. but as a hopeful, someday family man...my stomach was in knots, my mind racing, and my heart in two.
all of my life, i've wanted nothing more than to raise my own children. until now...
what happened yesterday!?!
long story short: i went through a gambit of emotion. we all know what happened, so let's just cut to the chase and talk about me for a second. for some reason, i overwhelmingly empathized with this family and falcon as if i were an integral part of the unfolding situation. first off, watching that balloon soar over colorado at what looked to be a thousand mph...i was dying inside. i was so nervous, i was sweating terribly, i felt completely sick to my stomach...i just couldn't handle it. at all. i felt as if i was on the verge of an emotional breakdown. and this wasn't even my child. my mind kept asking itself, if he indeed was inside that contraption, how horrifying would that have been for a 6 yr. old child? i'm a 27 yr old adult and had it been me up there, i would have gone ape shit bananas insane suicidal think-it-over wwjd...all of it.
i couldn't even begin to imagine it, and the fact that i did have to imagine such a scenario broke my heart into pieces because it wasn't me up there, but rather a baby. and i don't care if he's 6, 6 yr olds are incapable of supporting or thinking for themselves. he's a baby. so, when i found out that he wasn't inside that thing, whatever it was, i felt even worse because where was my baby!?!?!
ok, ryan, cool it...he's not your baby. you are one of the millions of people watching this unfold. semmer.down.now.
but i couldn't. i was so distraught i couldn't concentrate on anything else. when i arrived home that evening i was immensely relieved to hear that falcon was being an enormous brat by hiding in the attic the entire time. some even say he was taking a nap in a box. aw, that's cute. but bad! the roller coaster he put me on! i wanted to hug him and slap his behind at the same time. yes, i'm a firm believer in spanking. controlled spanking. as a teenage babysitter, i would spank other people's children for them. and you know what, those kids were raised right and are looking to be successful adults. a-thank you. save your hate, readers.
back to topic, i couldn't imagine what it would feel like to be in the position of balloon boy's parents though. especially considering the family's shenanigans aren't exactly what i would call child friendly.
but if this news story wasn't bad enough, this morning i noticed that the family was interviewed by the today show...so i of course clicked the link and was horrified to see balloon boy puking on live television. when it rains it pours apparently. first off -- i've been there. i've had many a small child either puke directly on me or puke within range of me (c'mon, i was a professional babysitter, ymca all-around-do-every-job-position employee, and lifeguard for many, many years. puke happens a lot.) it's a horrid experience no matter the setting. but, the reaction of the dad was priceless during the heave-ho. he was soo caught off guard by his son's retching that i commend him for still doing the interview without flipping shit and being like "uh, meredith, can you shut up for five seconds, my kid just barfed on me randomly, and truth be told, it's been a long 24 hours. interview over."
but, he kept his cool and there was some redeeming factor to that...even tho i still think that family is messed up. majorly. word to the wise: stop putting your children in dangerous predicaments such as, i don't know, hurricane chasing and homemade floatation devices. (!)
then, thanks cnn, i just had to stumble upon this news story to, again, put my emotions and pulse back into an unstable state.
holy eff. what is happening in this world!? am i, ryan sumner, really able to be a better parent than these people? i sure to god hope so because if not, future sumner offspring, i apologize now for any future turmoil i may put you through. i hope you survive.
bleep!
yes, i'm talking about balloon boy. i'm obviously not a parent of this child, related to the child, nor do i have any emotional attachment to him or his family. but as a hopeful, someday family man...my stomach was in knots, my mind racing, and my heart in two.
all of my life, i've wanted nothing more than to raise my own children. until now...
what happened yesterday!?!
long story short: i went through a gambit of emotion. we all know what happened, so let's just cut to the chase and talk about me for a second. for some reason, i overwhelmingly empathized with this family and falcon as if i were an integral part of the unfolding situation. first off, watching that balloon soar over colorado at what looked to be a thousand mph...i was dying inside. i was so nervous, i was sweating terribly, i felt completely sick to my stomach...i just couldn't handle it. at all. i felt as if i was on the verge of an emotional breakdown. and this wasn't even my child. my mind kept asking itself, if he indeed was inside that contraption, how horrifying would that have been for a 6 yr. old child? i'm a 27 yr old adult and had it been me up there, i would have gone ape shit bananas insane suicidal think-it-over wwjd...all of it.
i couldn't even begin to imagine it, and the fact that i did have to imagine such a scenario broke my heart into pieces because it wasn't me up there, but rather a baby. and i don't care if he's 6, 6 yr olds are incapable of supporting or thinking for themselves. he's a baby. so, when i found out that he wasn't inside that thing, whatever it was, i felt even worse because where was my baby!?!?!
ok, ryan, cool it...he's not your baby. you are one of the millions of people watching this unfold. semmer.down.now.
but i couldn't. i was so distraught i couldn't concentrate on anything else. when i arrived home that evening i was immensely relieved to hear that falcon was being an enormous brat by hiding in the attic the entire time. some even say he was taking a nap in a box. aw, that's cute. but bad! the roller coaster he put me on! i wanted to hug him and slap his behind at the same time. yes, i'm a firm believer in spanking. controlled spanking. as a teenage babysitter, i would spank other people's children for them. and you know what, those kids were raised right and are looking to be successful adults. a-thank you. save your hate, readers.
back to topic, i couldn't imagine what it would feel like to be in the position of balloon boy's parents though. especially considering the family's shenanigans aren't exactly what i would call child friendly.
but if this news story wasn't bad enough, this morning i noticed that the family was interviewed by the today show...so i of course clicked the link and was horrified to see balloon boy puking on live television. when it rains it pours apparently. first off -- i've been there. i've had many a small child either puke directly on me or puke within range of me (c'mon, i was a professional babysitter, ymca all-around-do-every-job-position employee, and lifeguard for many, many years. puke happens a lot.) it's a horrid experience no matter the setting. but, the reaction of the dad was priceless during the heave-ho. he was soo caught off guard by his son's retching that i commend him for still doing the interview without flipping shit and being like "uh, meredith, can you shut up for five seconds, my kid just barfed on me randomly, and truth be told, it's been a long 24 hours. interview over."
but, he kept his cool and there was some redeeming factor to that...even tho i still think that family is messed up. majorly. word to the wise: stop putting your children in dangerous predicaments such as, i don't know, hurricane chasing and homemade floatation devices. (!)
then, thanks cnn, i just had to stumble upon this news story to, again, put my emotions and pulse back into an unstable state.
holy eff. what is happening in this world!? am i, ryan sumner, really able to be a better parent than these people? i sure to god hope so because if not, future sumner offspring, i apologize now for any future turmoil i may put you through. i hope you survive.
bleep!
10.15.2009
i have a confession which you may or may not be ready for...but you'll just have to deal with it:
halloween is one of my least favorite holidays.
i know i know, i can already hear the gasps and feel the sense of disappointment furrowing in your brow. but hear me out...
now, i didn't say that i hated halloween. in fact, i love this time of year: i love carving pumpkins, i love trick-or-treaters (the real kind...you know, kids dressed up cute? remember those?), i love all things spooky and scary like movies and haunted houses and the like.
i love fun-size candy bars, which, really...that's what halloween is really about, right?
but, i don't dress up. or should i say i absolutely loathe dressing up. i've only been forced to do it a few times in my life and i'm glad to say that those peer pressure days are long gone. and to be quite honest, i don't like it when you dress up either.
i will, however, give props to those whom try. i think it's admirable - the amount of ambition, money, and time you dedicate toward finding the perfect costume. sort of. i'd rather put my money toward clothing items i'd wear more than once a year, but that's just me. but again, "some of you" do really spectacular things that are amazing and include elaborate makeup and get-ups that have so much detail i don't know if it's halloween or if i fell into that same damn hole alice did, making wonderland my new playground. hi everybody! that cat is pretty!
and just for the record, just because i don't like to dress up doesn't mean that i'm not fun. i'm not a party pooper. i'm not a dud. any of you who actually know me know that i can be the life of a party. i'm a great conversationalist, i've never met anyone that didn't like me (give or take a few extreme, isolated incidents), and i know how to work a room. so don't prejudge me as a debbie downer. i'm actually a fun franny.
but, back to my point, halloween is ruined for me on a few levels:
1) girls
2) gays
3) bars
first, girls. they single-handedly ruined halloween. halloween is no longer about dressing up as a ghost or a vampire. thanks to the female species, it's about naughty nurses and stripper cops. its about showing as much tna as humanly possible and getting screwed at the end of the night because of it.
second, gays. you're in the same exact boat. it's no longer about being he-man or a power ranger. it's about being the half-naked operation guy or michael phelps in all his speedo glory. it's about look at these abs, i've been starving for weeks to get'em! somebody, anybody, look at me!
you peeps ruined it. i want to go on a hayrack ride, not see how much vodka you can consume in your trojan costume that, correct me if i'm wrong, if that's all the clothing/protection actual trojan fighters wore back when...um, you'd have a spear through your sixpack in nanoseconds. i.e. i'm pretty sure they wore more protective clothing than that. skin exposure was the enemy. history is frowning.
long story short: yes, not all of you girls fall into this category and yes, not all of you gays fall into this category either--i know that, delete that nasty email you were about to send to me. this is just my interpretation of why i don't enjoy halloween.
i'm the kind of guy that likes to stay home, chill, watch the original halloween movie while keeping tally of the body count, get creeped out by all of the spooky spiderwebs i hung everywhere, and last but certainly not least, somehow force myself to stay away from the fun-sized snickers because, you know, it's for the trick-or-treaters. how sad will they be when all i have left is butterscotches and peppermints? they want bars! but i want bars, too. but i only eat the fun-size bars because they're healthier, right? eating just one wouldn't hurt anything. until one turns into 17.
zoops.
anyway, i get it. you're crazy about halloween. it's your most favorite day of the year because wooo! party!
3) bars. everyone goes to the bars for halloween. where else would you be? my two main categories, the girls and the gays, go there to show some tail, get some tail, and hopefully have their tail still attached to their costume by the end of the night. you can't get a drink from the bar because surely a girl or more likely a gay has wings on that take up a good five feet. i need a scotch! and you sir need some scotch tape because, last time i checked, tinkerbell was a girl and by the look of things...you're not.
ugh, i couldn't be farther away from all that hub-bub. in fact, i'll be in galva for halloween...the furthest place from fun, possible. instead, i'll get to take pictures of my nephews and niece dressed up in actual costumes, i'll get to carve a pumpkin bc god knows my parents aren't going to (i'm also the one who has to both put up and decorate the christmas tree, otherwise it'd never go up. and if anyone else in my family attempted to do it, the tree just wouldn't look right and i'd have to ultimately re-do it anyway), and i get the joy of rationing out candy to all those cute trick-or-treaters who come to the front door with their winter coats on over their costumes because the midwest is a big, fucking stick in the mud when it comes to having decent weather. oh, you're supposed to be spiderman? you look like an oversized columbia coat.
happy halloween everybody.
halloween is one of my least favorite holidays.
i know i know, i can already hear the gasps and feel the sense of disappointment furrowing in your brow. but hear me out...
now, i didn't say that i hated halloween. in fact, i love this time of year: i love carving pumpkins, i love trick-or-treaters (the real kind...you know, kids dressed up cute? remember those?), i love all things spooky and scary like movies and haunted houses and the like.
i love fun-size candy bars, which, really...that's what halloween is really about, right?
but, i don't dress up. or should i say i absolutely loathe dressing up. i've only been forced to do it a few times in my life and i'm glad to say that those peer pressure days are long gone. and to be quite honest, i don't like it when you dress up either.
i will, however, give props to those whom try. i think it's admirable - the amount of ambition, money, and time you dedicate toward finding the perfect costume. sort of. i'd rather put my money toward clothing items i'd wear more than once a year, but that's just me. but again, "some of you" do really spectacular things that are amazing and include elaborate makeup and get-ups that have so much detail i don't know if it's halloween or if i fell into that same damn hole alice did, making wonderland my new playground. hi everybody! that cat is pretty!
and just for the record, just because i don't like to dress up doesn't mean that i'm not fun. i'm not a party pooper. i'm not a dud. any of you who actually know me know that i can be the life of a party. i'm a great conversationalist, i've never met anyone that didn't like me (give or take a few extreme, isolated incidents), and i know how to work a room. so don't prejudge me as a debbie downer. i'm actually a fun franny.
but, back to my point, halloween is ruined for me on a few levels:
1) girls
2) gays
3) bars
first, girls. they single-handedly ruined halloween. halloween is no longer about dressing up as a ghost or a vampire. thanks to the female species, it's about naughty nurses and stripper cops. its about showing as much tna as humanly possible and getting screwed at the end of the night because of it.
second, gays. you're in the same exact boat. it's no longer about being he-man or a power ranger. it's about being the half-naked operation guy or michael phelps in all his speedo glory. it's about look at these abs, i've been starving for weeks to get'em! somebody, anybody, look at me!
you peeps ruined it. i want to go on a hayrack ride, not see how much vodka you can consume in your trojan costume that, correct me if i'm wrong, if that's all the clothing/protection actual trojan fighters wore back when...um, you'd have a spear through your sixpack in nanoseconds. i.e. i'm pretty sure they wore more protective clothing than that. skin exposure was the enemy. history is frowning.
long story short: yes, not all of you girls fall into this category and yes, not all of you gays fall into this category either--i know that, delete that nasty email you were about to send to me. this is just my interpretation of why i don't enjoy halloween.
i'm the kind of guy that likes to stay home, chill, watch the original halloween movie while keeping tally of the body count, get creeped out by all of the spooky spiderwebs i hung everywhere, and last but certainly not least, somehow force myself to stay away from the fun-sized snickers because, you know, it's for the trick-or-treaters. how sad will they be when all i have left is butterscotches and peppermints? they want bars! but i want bars, too. but i only eat the fun-size bars because they're healthier, right? eating just one wouldn't hurt anything. until one turns into 17.
zoops.
anyway, i get it. you're crazy about halloween. it's your most favorite day of the year because wooo! party!
3) bars. everyone goes to the bars for halloween. where else would you be? my two main categories, the girls and the gays, go there to show some tail, get some tail, and hopefully have their tail still attached to their costume by the end of the night. you can't get a drink from the bar because surely a girl or more likely a gay has wings on that take up a good five feet. i need a scotch! and you sir need some scotch tape because, last time i checked, tinkerbell was a girl and by the look of things...you're not.
ugh, i couldn't be farther away from all that hub-bub. in fact, i'll be in galva for halloween...the furthest place from fun, possible. instead, i'll get to take pictures of my nephews and niece dressed up in actual costumes, i'll get to carve a pumpkin bc god knows my parents aren't going to (i'm also the one who has to both put up and decorate the christmas tree, otherwise it'd never go up. and if anyone else in my family attempted to do it, the tree just wouldn't look right and i'd have to ultimately re-do it anyway), and i get the joy of rationing out candy to all those cute trick-or-treaters who come to the front door with their winter coats on over their costumes because the midwest is a big, fucking stick in the mud when it comes to having decent weather. oh, you're supposed to be spiderman? you look like an oversized columbia coat.
happy halloween everybody.
10.14.2009
the nanner is back yall. for us in the east and midwest, it's appropriately titled goodbye fall. these songs make me think of overcast days, leaves falling, and the nostalgic smell of days past. i love this time of year, even though it's a bit chillier than normal.
i chose the following songs for the following reasons:
blur - i think the lyrics to this song are pretty hilar, but the melody and tone of brit's voice is revealing, makes me recall my own blurred moments with that intoxicating beat. love it. there's no sense in acting like we're perfect, angels from above, and this song reveals our mistakes, while at the same time going on with life without missing a beat. my favorite part: i think i need an aspirin.
between the sheets - let's face it...being between the sheets on those cold, overcast, fall weekend mornings is one of the best moments life has to offer. you know where to find warmth. it's almost magical, so when it happens, revel in the moment of being between the sheets. it just doesn't get any better than this.
game for fools - what's funny about this selection is that i've had this song for years on my itunes, as a part of lidell's album, but anytime it would shuffle on i would get immediately annoyed and skip over it. to me, i think the first 5 seconds sounds whiney and therefore i'd skip it to save myself the torment of listening to someone else woe and boohoo other than myself. but just recently i let it play and holy eff - this song is incredible. did you want to make out right now or what? perfect little love song.
don't let me down - i'm not a huge jt fan but i'm pretty entranced with his part in this song. i also keep near a "don't let me down" attitude when it comes to love. so far, no luck. i need a hero, too.
monster love - okay, i know goldfrapp is...different. but can you honestly listen to this song and not feel something? this song makes me feel alive and it has stimulated some of my deepest thoughts about this life of mine. the whole cd is a trip, literally. everything goes around, bringing us back again.
it's all your fault - pink is a genius. yes, she's had her overplayed pop moments a la so what but she's capable of so much more. this song has a catchy piano part and the lyrics seem to have come straight out of my head. i'm sure if i search long and hard enough, i could find a blog posting where i talk about how it's all your fault because you started it off with a compliment i couldn't resist. and of course you had to be perfect. it wasn't fair. and it still isn't. you're off living your life and i'm still clinging to that damn compliment.
languishing - i'm not the biggest mariah fan in the world, but when i heard this intro to i wanna know what love is it stopped me cold. the song is so eloquent and petite, it's mariah but not mariah. plus, languishing is such an interesting word, right? the definition being to lose vigor, health, to have a desire for something or someone who is not present. we have all been there. what a sad feeling encapsulated in such a beautiful melody. congrats mariah. this is it.
don't let me stop you - i'm not really sure why i chose this song. don't get me wrong, kelly clarkson is a major part of my trifecta (kc, brit, kathy griffin) but this song isn't necessarily my favorite. there's just something about the melody that captures my attention. it's a little hard, but i find solice in its soft spots.
take off your cool - you might remember this song from my youtube video. this song is perfect. simple melody, simple words. baby take off your cool, i wanna see you. that, in essence, is my approach to finding love. cut the bullshit, show me who you are sans how cute you think you are or how much money you claim to have. take it off. i wanna see you.
doesn't mean anything - forgive the regis and kelly appearance, i just found the live version of this song to be pretty amazing. love alicia keys, love this song, and i'm sure i'll love her new album. this song provides a little extra kick in my step. chin up.
hanging on too long - who hasn't done this? this feeling is so universal and relatable. perfect post-breakup song. plus, duffy's one-of-a-kind voice gives me chills as she reveals her complacent role and false hopes. but then again, duffy could probably sing about taking a shit and i'd still be mesmerized.
show me - this song is one of my all-time favorites. there's no beating it. first, john legend could sing to me for 24 hours a day without a complaint. like duffy, his voice is one-of-a-kind. but this specific song and melody is inescapable. every time i hear it i can't help but imagine dinner sitting on the table while we slow dance on the kitchen floor in the dim setting ambiance of our love.
teach u a lesson - first off, if you don't own this album, you are doing yourself and your love life a disservice. just listen to the lyrics and you will have your honey in a compromising position in no time. robin is perfect.every.time.
untouched - the original version of this song was a little too hard, even though i love it and the veronicas, so when i came across this acoustic cover version...i was like hells yes. this girl has an amazing voice. who she is or why she doesn't have a record contract are both unknown to me. amazing interpretation, right? untouched and i need you so much. i know that feeling all too well.
good morning, hypocrite - last but certainly not least, electric president. i'm not sure if anyone but me listens to ep, but this group has some of the weirdest music that makes me enter an entirely new and unseen world. their music is like none other, their voices, their interpretation of sound and percussion...it will flip your shit. good morning, hypocrite blends so many unique sounds and ideas--the world is your oyster and this song will get you there. trust me. most people will hear it and think wtf but when i hear it i think wtp (what the possibility).
thanks for listening. and enjoy.
i chose the following songs for the following reasons:
blur - i think the lyrics to this song are pretty hilar, but the melody and tone of brit's voice is revealing, makes me recall my own blurred moments with that intoxicating beat. love it. there's no sense in acting like we're perfect, angels from above, and this song reveals our mistakes, while at the same time going on with life without missing a beat. my favorite part: i think i need an aspirin.
between the sheets - let's face it...being between the sheets on those cold, overcast, fall weekend mornings is one of the best moments life has to offer. you know where to find warmth. it's almost magical, so when it happens, revel in the moment of being between the sheets. it just doesn't get any better than this.
game for fools - what's funny about this selection is that i've had this song for years on my itunes, as a part of lidell's album, but anytime it would shuffle on i would get immediately annoyed and skip over it. to me, i think the first 5 seconds sounds whiney and therefore i'd skip it to save myself the torment of listening to someone else woe and boohoo other than myself. but just recently i let it play and holy eff - this song is incredible. did you want to make out right now or what? perfect little love song.
don't let me down - i'm not a huge jt fan but i'm pretty entranced with his part in this song. i also keep near a "don't let me down" attitude when it comes to love. so far, no luck. i need a hero, too.
monster love - okay, i know goldfrapp is...different. but can you honestly listen to this song and not feel something? this song makes me feel alive and it has stimulated some of my deepest thoughts about this life of mine. the whole cd is a trip, literally. everything goes around, bringing us back again.
it's all your fault - pink is a genius. yes, she's had her overplayed pop moments a la so what but she's capable of so much more. this song has a catchy piano part and the lyrics seem to have come straight out of my head. i'm sure if i search long and hard enough, i could find a blog posting where i talk about how it's all your fault because you started it off with a compliment i couldn't resist. and of course you had to be perfect. it wasn't fair. and it still isn't. you're off living your life and i'm still clinging to that damn compliment.
languishing - i'm not the biggest mariah fan in the world, but when i heard this intro to i wanna know what love is it stopped me cold. the song is so eloquent and petite, it's mariah but not mariah. plus, languishing is such an interesting word, right? the definition being to lose vigor, health, to have a desire for something or someone who is not present. we have all been there. what a sad feeling encapsulated in such a beautiful melody. congrats mariah. this is it.
don't let me stop you - i'm not really sure why i chose this song. don't get me wrong, kelly clarkson is a major part of my trifecta (kc, brit, kathy griffin) but this song isn't necessarily my favorite. there's just something about the melody that captures my attention. it's a little hard, but i find solice in its soft spots.
take off your cool - you might remember this song from my youtube video. this song is perfect. simple melody, simple words. baby take off your cool, i wanna see you. that, in essence, is my approach to finding love. cut the bullshit, show me who you are sans how cute you think you are or how much money you claim to have. take it off. i wanna see you.
doesn't mean anything - forgive the regis and kelly appearance, i just found the live version of this song to be pretty amazing. love alicia keys, love this song, and i'm sure i'll love her new album. this song provides a little extra kick in my step. chin up.
hanging on too long - who hasn't done this? this feeling is so universal and relatable. perfect post-breakup song. plus, duffy's one-of-a-kind voice gives me chills as she reveals her complacent role and false hopes. but then again, duffy could probably sing about taking a shit and i'd still be mesmerized.
show me - this song is one of my all-time favorites. there's no beating it. first, john legend could sing to me for 24 hours a day without a complaint. like duffy, his voice is one-of-a-kind. but this specific song and melody is inescapable. every time i hear it i can't help but imagine dinner sitting on the table while we slow dance on the kitchen floor in the dim setting ambiance of our love.
teach u a lesson - first off, if you don't own this album, you are doing yourself and your love life a disservice. just listen to the lyrics and you will have your honey in a compromising position in no time. robin is perfect.every.time.
untouched - the original version of this song was a little too hard, even though i love it and the veronicas, so when i came across this acoustic cover version...i was like hells yes. this girl has an amazing voice. who she is or why she doesn't have a record contract are both unknown to me. amazing interpretation, right? untouched and i need you so much. i know that feeling all too well.
good morning, hypocrite - last but certainly not least, electric president. i'm not sure if anyone but me listens to ep, but this group has some of the weirdest music that makes me enter an entirely new and unseen world. their music is like none other, their voices, their interpretation of sound and percussion...it will flip your shit. good morning, hypocrite blends so many unique sounds and ideas--the world is your oyster and this song will get you there. trust me. most people will hear it and think wtf but when i hear it i think wtp (what the possibility).
thanks for listening. and enjoy.
10.13.2009
just when i thought i was forever mad at the onion for that hateful video about quitting smoking, this gem came along to save the day. a big thank you to my dear, dear friend-in-real-life lindsey markel (hi! miss you, love you) for sharing this amazing onion article that is hilarious and so completely on the money. this article is a keeper for sure. enjoy and spread it around.
hello again international friends!
i received an amazing response after my shout-out to all my foreign blog readers. you guys wrote such wonderful and touching emails...i even got a little choked up with some...which is particularly embarrassing considering i just wrote a blog talking about how void of emotion i typically am.
oops.
but wow, it was so, so great hearing from you guys and girls and i certainly will be replying to each and every email very soon.
thanks again, wow...so awesome.
(oh, and all of my fellow americans -- feel free to emale me too. i love hearing from you!)
i received an amazing response after my shout-out to all my foreign blog readers. you guys wrote such wonderful and touching emails...i even got a little choked up with some...which is particularly embarrassing considering i just wrote a blog talking about how void of emotion i typically am.
oops.
but wow, it was so, so great hearing from you guys and girls and i certainly will be replying to each and every email very soon.
thanks again, wow...so awesome.
(oh, and all of my fellow americans -- feel free to emale me too. i love hearing from you!)
having watched wheel of fortune for years now, i've come to the conclusion that pat and vanna absolutely hate each other. no, no they despise and detest one another. if vanna could projectile puke from the stage board all the way across to the wheel and onto pat, she would and has probably thought about doing it. having projectile puked once in my lifetime, here's a word to the wise, vanna: just eat an obnoxiously large breakfast (eggs are key), down a ton of milk quickly, and get that dress tailored just a little on the small side to allow absolutely no budge. boom, you're a puke volcano.
the funny thing is, they spend mere seconds next to each other, and even during those precious, few, on-camera moments, their body language emphatically reads:
i hate you so bad i hope a light fixture falls on your head and kills you...not instantly, but slowly and painfully.
it makes me sad. i wish they were best friends.
but instead
light fixtures...light fixtures in the worst way.
(watch out pat! you know vanna is the real powerhouse on that show!)
the funny thing is, they spend mere seconds next to each other, and even during those precious, few, on-camera moments, their body language emphatically reads:
i hate you so bad i hope a light fixture falls on your head and kills you...not instantly, but slowly and painfully.
it makes me sad. i wish they were best friends.
but instead
light fixtures...light fixtures in the worst way.
(watch out pat! you know vanna is the real powerhouse on that show!)
okay, i figured i should post actual writing instead of just youtube videos on here. sorry, but i can get completely lost on youtube, clicking one video after the next with something always striking my fancy. and yes, by something i mean kathy griffin videos. she's just so funny.
but seriously, how funny was that vid of the fat girl falling off the trampoline? and even funnier the mom yelling from the deck..."don't you try to do something fancy just..oh...ohhhhh....ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
i.died.
anyway, today's posting will be a rant. against whom? smokers.
now, i don't have many issues with the act of smoking. it's your choice. family members of mine smoke, friends of mine smoke, people smoke...i get it. i don't smoke, but, like i said, that's a personal choice. i could if i wanted to, just like you, but i don't.
however, here's my real beef: smokers who flick their "butts" into the street, sidewalk, gutter, dry, weedy california hillsides, anywhere and everywhere besides an actual trash receptacle of some or any sort...all of that flicking. all of those places. all those butts. everywhere. it's disgusting, it's illegal, it's disrespectful, and it's all around unnecessary.
and it has to stop. like...now.
just because you, smokers, can legally smoke tobacco does not mean that you can legally litter. this is my earth, too. leaving your cigarette remnants anywhere you god damn please is not cool with me and most of society. at all. actually, you should be embarrassed. i mean, i would be embarrassed if every time i ate a box of red vines (which is often) i just carelessly threw the plastic container onto the street without so much as even flinching. because, you know, no big deal...it's just trash. but you know someone somewhere would say something to me too. like..."you better fucking pick that up you asshole!"
someone needs to say that to you, and i'm that person: it's blatant disrespect for this common ground we call earth. stop it.
but for some insane reason, whenever smokers flick, drop, stomp, or whatever with their cigarette butts...does anyone say anything?
typically no.
so, smokers, do the world a favor. stop acting above the law, both the legal law and the moral law.
cigarette butts are trash. therefore they go into the trash. it's not that hard of a concept. and it's the law. in many cities, there are specifically-designated butt receptacles for you to place your nasty cigarettes into. how easy is that? it requires the most basic of neurons to accomplish. you can handle it.
so remember, the next time you stomp a ciggie, dispense of it properly.
thank you in advance for being a responsible adult. trust me, i know it's hard sometimes.
but seriously, how funny was that vid of the fat girl falling off the trampoline? and even funnier the mom yelling from the deck..."don't you try to do something fancy just..oh...ohhhhh....ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
i.died.
anyway, today's posting will be a rant. against whom? smokers.
now, i don't have many issues with the act of smoking. it's your choice. family members of mine smoke, friends of mine smoke, people smoke...i get it. i don't smoke, but, like i said, that's a personal choice. i could if i wanted to, just like you, but i don't.
however, here's my real beef: smokers who flick their "butts" into the street, sidewalk, gutter, dry, weedy california hillsides, anywhere and everywhere besides an actual trash receptacle of some or any sort...all of that flicking. all of those places. all those butts. everywhere. it's disgusting, it's illegal, it's disrespectful, and it's all around unnecessary.
and it has to stop. like...now.
just because you, smokers, can legally smoke tobacco does not mean that you can legally litter. this is my earth, too. leaving your cigarette remnants anywhere you god damn please is not cool with me and most of society. at all. actually, you should be embarrassed. i mean, i would be embarrassed if every time i ate a box of red vines (which is often) i just carelessly threw the plastic container onto the street without so much as even flinching. because, you know, no big deal...it's just trash. but you know someone somewhere would say something to me too. like..."you better fucking pick that up you asshole!"
someone needs to say that to you, and i'm that person: it's blatant disrespect for this common ground we call earth. stop it.
but for some insane reason, whenever smokers flick, drop, stomp, or whatever with their cigarette butts...does anyone say anything?
typically no.
so, smokers, do the world a favor. stop acting above the law, both the legal law and the moral law.
cigarette butts are trash. therefore they go into the trash. it's not that hard of a concept. and it's the law. in many cities, there are specifically-designated butt receptacles for you to place your nasty cigarettes into. how easy is that? it requires the most basic of neurons to accomplish. you can handle it.
so remember, the next time you stomp a ciggie, dispense of it properly.
thank you in advance for being a responsible adult. trust me, i know it's hard sometimes.
10.09.2009
okay yall, i'm going go on a little tangent here about politics so if you don't like my viewpoint regarding obama i would click that x in the upper, right-hand corner riiiight.about.now.
so, obama was awarded the nobel peace prize. um, what?! even the white house was surprised. in fact, they had to wake obama up just to tell him the news and i'm sure his first words were omg wtf? because, after all, what peace has he brought to anybody?
i'm not at peace. you're probably not at peace either. and if you are it's probably not because of obama. because he hasn't done anything.
at all.
oh wait, cash for clunkers. riiiiight.
don't you feel silly? i feel silly for you.
such is my problem with obama: he's hype. he's fresh. he's new. people love him bc we all can relate to him. he survives via fanfare. he has no record of accomplishment, both yesterday and today, but do we care? nope. we just love him! hearts. we love his words. we love his ideas. we love michelle's arms. aren't they a cute couple? and look at those abs! but let's forget the dad jeans! oh obama, you're such a charmer...keep talkin.
but that's where it ends. bc they're just words. they're just ideas. he reads his speeches, he promised the country everything & anything to ensure his election, he said/says what people want & expect to hear. but now what? what does he have to show for it? now that he's in office, in power, has a democratic majority, what has he actually done?
we've all seen the snl skit. it's funny bc it's true. i needn't say more.
but i will anyway:
give him time! they say. what time? you mean this past year? yes, there's a lot of shit to scrape out of the stalls since dubya's departure, but obama knew that well in advance. he was ready, remember? that's why obama created his super team. hello...he's the captain planet along with his planeteers, banded together to solve earth's problems. the power is his! but his ring must have broken or something...nothing's happening!?
if you don't follow the planeteer talk, basically, the cheese does not stand alone.
but who could place blame on obama? if you blame him for anything it's probably because you're a racist. change! he promoted. uh, what has changed? ...nothing... but that matters not: our nation showcases obama like he is right under jesus christ himself. the americanized version of our lord and savior if you will. and he's just a small notch above oprah, which is completely okay bc she elected him anyway. the trifecta!
not.
to me: he's an inspirational talking head. that's it. best of luck to him and everything, i hope he actually does something with his position, power, and 1.4 million dollar cash prize. but give me a break nobel peace prize committee.
you sold out.
big time.
it just goes to show you, we should've put my main bitch in office. hey hillary! but did we? no. she's too much of a ballbuster. she's too aggressive. she opens too many cans of whoop ass. wow is she a bitch. her record of achievement and activism isn't as cool as obama's gq cover. her husband is bill effing clinton afterall, get real! we wouldn't want his experience and worldwide respect doing a repeat number! and we all know that hillary gets shit done, but ew, she's a woman!
yes we can admit we were wrong.
sorry yall.
so, obama was awarded the nobel peace prize. um, what?! even the white house was surprised. in fact, they had to wake obama up just to tell him the news and i'm sure his first words were omg wtf? because, after all, what peace has he brought to anybody?
i'm not at peace. you're probably not at peace either. and if you are it's probably not because of obama. because he hasn't done anything.
at all.
oh wait, cash for clunkers. riiiiight.
don't you feel silly? i feel silly for you.
such is my problem with obama: he's hype. he's fresh. he's new. people love him bc we all can relate to him. he survives via fanfare. he has no record of accomplishment, both yesterday and today, but do we care? nope. we just love him! hearts. we love his words. we love his ideas. we love michelle's arms. aren't they a cute couple? and look at those abs! but let's forget the dad jeans! oh obama, you're such a charmer...keep talkin.
but that's where it ends. bc they're just words. they're just ideas. he reads his speeches, he promised the country everything & anything to ensure his election, he said/says what people want & expect to hear. but now what? what does he have to show for it? now that he's in office, in power, has a democratic majority, what has he actually done?
we've all seen the snl skit. it's funny bc it's true. i needn't say more.
but i will anyway:
give him time! they say. what time? you mean this past year? yes, there's a lot of shit to scrape out of the stalls since dubya's departure, but obama knew that well in advance. he was ready, remember? that's why obama created his super team. hello...he's the captain planet along with his planeteers, banded together to solve earth's problems. the power is his! but his ring must have broken or something...nothing's happening!?
if you don't follow the planeteer talk, basically, the cheese does not stand alone.
but who could place blame on obama? if you blame him for anything it's probably because you're a racist. change! he promoted. uh, what has changed? ...nothing... but that matters not: our nation showcases obama like he is right under jesus christ himself. the americanized version of our lord and savior if you will. and he's just a small notch above oprah, which is completely okay bc she elected him anyway. the trifecta!
not.
to me: he's an inspirational talking head. that's it. best of luck to him and everything, i hope he actually does something with his position, power, and 1.4 million dollar cash prize. but give me a break nobel peace prize committee.
you sold out.
big time.
it just goes to show you, we should've put my main bitch in office. hey hillary! but did we? no. she's too much of a ballbuster. she's too aggressive. she opens too many cans of whoop ass. wow is she a bitch. her record of achievement and activism isn't as cool as obama's gq cover. her husband is bill effing clinton afterall, get real! we wouldn't want his experience and worldwide respect doing a repeat number! and we all know that hillary gets shit done, but ew, she's a woman!
yes we can admit we were wrong.
sorry yall.
10.08.2009
um...zoops!
so i told you that i was going to fix my nanner and put some awesome new jams on it...
well i can't seem to remember what site i got my nanner from...nor can i remember any type of login information!
forgive me, i am turning 28 next year. this kind of behavior is expected.
it's in the works yall.
so i told you that i was going to fix my nanner and put some awesome new jams on it...
well i can't seem to remember what site i got my nanner from...nor can i remember any type of login information!
forgive me, i am turning 28 next year. this kind of behavior is expected.
it's in the works yall.
so i recently checked in with my regional stat counter to see how my blog was faring. i was surprised at the international statistics of just the past few days. foreign peeps are checking in from quito ecuador, kutina croatia, aukland new zealand, nantes france, athens greece, skane lan sweden, geislingen germany, adelaid australia, lecheria venezuela, lots of british telecommunications from the UK edinburgh and england areas, and lots o'canadians from the toronto, vancouver, ontario, quebec, and thornhill areas.
hi peeps. welcome.
dobar dan
bonjour
guten tag
yia sou
shalom
salvete
salaam-o-aleykum
alô
god dag
sawa dee-ka
hola
boas
hei
bonġu
ahn nyeong ha se yo
do me a favor, emale me at theryansumner@gmail.com and let me know how you arrived at my blog. was it via youtube? twitter? was it by coincidence? was it by mistake?
let me know.
but in the meantime, thanks for stopping by. and PEACE!
hi peeps. welcome.
dobar dan
bonjour
guten tag
yia sou
shalom
salvete
salaam-o-aleykum
alô
god dag
sawa dee-ka
hola
boas
hei
bonġu
ahn nyeong ha se yo
do me a favor, emale me at theryansumner@gmail.com and let me know how you arrived at my blog. was it via youtube? twitter? was it by coincidence? was it by mistake?
let me know.
but in the meantime, thanks for stopping by. and PEACE!
10.07.2009
just for the record: i'm not into celebrities. most annoy me, most do not do anything for me...to me: they're just people we see on the tv or movie screen.
BUT
there are two people who make me weak in the knees. literally.
1) kathy griffin (absolute, hands-down favorite. can't be topped)
2) britney spears (you can suck it if you think this is atypical)
that's it.
well i met kathy tonight and i have no words. it was amazing. i'm sure i sounded stupid to her, but it was magic to me. in fact, i barely remember what happened bc i was in such a euphoric state. weird, huh?
long story short: she's amazing. let me have my moment without judgement!
i seriously have to take an advil and a cold shower though. the nervousness i experience for the 3 hours i stood in line has given me a headache and my internal body temperature can only be described as an inferno.
omg. best day of life.
but a big EFF U to borders for placing kathy under the most horrific lighting scenario possible. there's way too much radioactive lime/yellow going on in this pic, but this beggar does not care.
he takes what he can gets. and this is what i needed (and have been waiting for my entire adult life).
thanks, kath.
BUT
there are two people who make me weak in the knees. literally.
1) kathy griffin (absolute, hands-down favorite. can't be topped)
2) britney spears (you can suck it if you think this is atypical)
that's it.
well i met kathy tonight and i have no words. it was amazing. i'm sure i sounded stupid to her, but it was magic to me. in fact, i barely remember what happened bc i was in such a euphoric state. weird, huh?
long story short: she's amazing. let me have my moment without judgement!
i seriously have to take an advil and a cold shower though. the nervousness i experience for the 3 hours i stood in line has given me a headache and my internal body temperature can only be described as an inferno.
omg. best day of life.
but a big EFF U to borders for placing kathy under the most horrific lighting scenario possible. there's way too much radioactive lime/yellow going on in this pic, but this beggar does not care.
he takes what he can gets. and this is what i needed (and have been waiting for my entire adult life).
thanks, kath.
oh, and did you all realize how i completely glossed over the fact that chicago lost (and by lost i mean lost) the 2016 olympics?
fortunately for the chicago olympic lovers, i was in colorado at the time without internet access, therefore i could not hop on the blog and revel in all of my haha eff you glory. i so badly wanted to give a big f.u. shoutout to the city of chicago for even thinking it was a good idea to host the olympics.
chicago can barely host its citizens.
eff off olympians. have fun in rio!
fortunately for the chicago olympic lovers, i was in colorado at the time without internet access, therefore i could not hop on the blog and revel in all of my haha eff you glory. i so badly wanted to give a big f.u. shoutout to the city of chicago for even thinking it was a good idea to host the olympics.
chicago can barely host its citizens.
eff off olympians. have fun in rio!
i feel like writing about love is a big, fat waste of time and energy. i'm definitely not in love at the moment. in fact, i couldn't be any farther from it. it's as close to me as niger, africa...which, by the way, was just deemed the worst place to live.
read into that as you may. i'm just saying.
anyway, so who needs love?
i don't. but wouldn't it be nice to be in love?
le sigh.
and, i'm sorry folks, but i must say this right here and right now: lady gaga isn't as amazing as you claim her to be (and as she certainly believes herself to be). anyone that has to make that much of a spectacle of themself in order to harness attention doesn't have the talent i believe to be actual talent. (much like madonna. is she talented? no, but does she make people mad or intrigued? yes. but so does john gosselin and i'm not going to any of his concerts either). plus, gaga really peeved me during that snl deep house dish skit (and i'm completely overlooking the fact that it was not funny at all...i mean, did they not rehearse? i was uncomfortable from the very minute i saw them together and it just got worse after that.) where she claimed that both she and madonna were pop icons. can she sing? yes. can she perform? sure. is it noteworthy? eh. is she an icon? get the flip outta my face!
really gaga?! you? an icon? get real. you had a couple of hits. so did 98 degrees.
the gays can turn on me, i don't care, i know you all created her. but you also created man capris and we all know that only europeans (gay or otherwise) can wear those nowadays and get away with it, so you're not as visionary as you think. bleep you.
herrumph.
read into that as you may. i'm just saying.
anyway, so who needs love?
i don't. but wouldn't it be nice to be in love?
le sigh.
and, i'm sorry folks, but i must say this right here and right now: lady gaga isn't as amazing as you claim her to be (and as she certainly believes herself to be). anyone that has to make that much of a spectacle of themself in order to harness attention doesn't have the talent i believe to be actual talent. (much like madonna. is she talented? no, but does she make people mad or intrigued? yes. but so does john gosselin and i'm not going to any of his concerts either). plus, gaga really peeved me during that snl deep house dish skit (and i'm completely overlooking the fact that it was not funny at all...i mean, did they not rehearse? i was uncomfortable from the very minute i saw them together and it just got worse after that.) where she claimed that both she and madonna were pop icons. can she sing? yes. can she perform? sure. is it noteworthy? eh. is she an icon? get the flip outta my face!
really gaga?! you? an icon? get real. you had a couple of hits. so did 98 degrees.
the gays can turn on me, i don't care, i know you all created her. but you also created man capris and we all know that only europeans (gay or otherwise) can wear those nowadays and get away with it, so you're not as visionary as you think. bleep you.
herrumph.
10.06.2009
yet another reason to fly jet blue or southwest.
no checked baggage fees.
no unnecessary surcharges.
flying doesn't have to be a hassle or overly expensive.
no checked baggage fees.
no unnecessary surcharges.
flying doesn't have to be a hassle or overly expensive.
i can count on one hand the times i've become emotional during a movie.
they are few and far between, but they happen.
i'm not one to cry easily. i'm actually glad i'm built with an iron clad heart. it really takes a lot for me to shed a tear. and i mean a lot. i can't even recall the last time i had a good, meaningful sob. its been years.
but
sometimes the cinema gets to me. the first experience:
why was atreyu able to move so freely!? why did artax have to die?! WHY???!?!?!
WAHHHHH! oh, sorry...
later in life came this gem, as well as a new found soft spot for ants:
i sobbed when antie died. he was just a baby!
and then there was this, which i exposed myself to 3 different times, sobbing off and on throughout:
and of course this...every.single.time. ... hysterics:
and lastly, i'd be lying if i said that every time i hear this song i didn't get a little weepy...
damn you, warwick! damn you...*sniff*
they are few and far between, but they happen.
i'm not one to cry easily. i'm actually glad i'm built with an iron clad heart. it really takes a lot for me to shed a tear. and i mean a lot. i can't even recall the last time i had a good, meaningful sob. its been years.
but
sometimes the cinema gets to me. the first experience:
why was atreyu able to move so freely!? why did artax have to die?! WHY???!?!?!
WAHHHHH! oh, sorry...
later in life came this gem, as well as a new found soft spot for ants:
i sobbed when antie died. he was just a baby!
and then there was this, which i exposed myself to 3 different times, sobbing off and on throughout:
and of course this...every.single.time. ... hysterics:
and lastly, i'd be lying if i said that every time i hear this song i didn't get a little weepy...
damn you, warwick! damn you...*sniff*
10.05.2009
it's probably for the best that i'm typing this posting later in the day today.
if my original intentions had come true, this posting would be full of finger pointing and vulgarity.
from me? yes. shocking, right?
i know.
but no. i've cooled off. my internal rants have ceased. i'm in a better place.
but still, FUCKING amtrak and their slow ass arrival, FAT ASS people in my way when i'm hoofing it to an appointment i'm surely going to be late for, RETARD security guard giving me the "sign in" line when i've worked here for 3 years now and for once forgot my security fob (you see me every day, twice a day you son of a BITCH!), grandmas and grandpas hacking ALL around me everywhere i go, purposely trying to get me sick or catch whatever they have besides old age, stupid BITCHES on their cell phones with 8 shopping bags on each arm in front of me at subway talking while simultaneously trying to order a sandwich (you know you want a turkey on whole wheat stupid bitch so just order it already and stop talking to stacie about how drunk steven was saturday night stupid bitch, stupid bitch i'm hungry!!!!!!!
aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (!) (!) (!)
...you know, i knew that was going to happen. apparently the demons are still within.
released.
phew, i feel better now.
if my original intentions had come true, this posting would be full of finger pointing and vulgarity.
from me? yes. shocking, right?
i know.
but no. i've cooled off. my internal rants have ceased. i'm in a better place.
but still, FUCKING amtrak and their slow ass arrival, FAT ASS people in my way when i'm hoofing it to an appointment i'm surely going to be late for, RETARD security guard giving me the "sign in" line when i've worked here for 3 years now and for once forgot my security fob (you see me every day, twice a day you son of a BITCH!), grandmas and grandpas hacking ALL around me everywhere i go, purposely trying to get me sick or catch whatever they have besides old age, stupid BITCHES on their cell phones with 8 shopping bags on each arm in front of me at subway talking while simultaneously trying to order a sandwich (you know you want a turkey on whole wheat stupid bitch so just order it already and stop talking to stacie about how drunk steven was saturday night stupid bitch, stupid bitch i'm hungry!!!!!!!
aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (!) (!) (!)
...you know, i knew that was going to happen. apparently the demons are still within.
released.
phew, i feel better now.
10.01.2009
i was running along lakeshore path this morning...with a pebble in my nike. i think it's a californian pebble, because the last time i wore said nikes was during a hike atop runyon canyon. but that matters not.
i was far too busy to stop. the gears were grinding. my body in motion. nothing is going to stop me, i thought.
at some points i could maneuver the pebble to lay sideways and just to the side of my shoe...fully clearing any foot/pebble contact. but at some points that mother effing pebble would go vertical right under my heel.
holy flip i got so mad. and it hurt like a beyotch.
the sky looked as if it were going to unleash some massive precipitation, so i kept running, despite the pain and annoyance, using the powers of my mind to disregard the pebble completely. it worked. i thought about my future.
sometimes i get lost in the future. i imagine what i want. i realize what i have to do to obtain. i strategize who, what, where, when, and why. i understand how.
and before you know it, 1 mile has turned into 3. my potential realized. my plan of action in bulleted form.
but then that pebble resurfaced. blocking my focus. inhibiting further progress. ouch, you little bitch.
time to deal with the demons.
i jogged off the beaten path into a clearing near the water. i looked out into the seemingly endlessness of lake michigan.
i felt small in a big world. just the way it should be.
i took off my shoe.
located that pebble.
took it between two fingers.
and threw it as hard as i could into that vast, blue lake.
i exerted way more energy than necessary. that pebble was freaking tiny in comparison to me and my life, but it caused just enough damage that it deserved every ounce of missile-like projection into oblivion.
it was gone. for good.
small obstacle, big throw, happy ending.
i hopped back on the path, and jogged once again.
onward.
i was far too busy to stop. the gears were grinding. my body in motion. nothing is going to stop me, i thought.
at some points i could maneuver the pebble to lay sideways and just to the side of my shoe...fully clearing any foot/pebble contact. but at some points that mother effing pebble would go vertical right under my heel.
holy flip i got so mad. and it hurt like a beyotch.
the sky looked as if it were going to unleash some massive precipitation, so i kept running, despite the pain and annoyance, using the powers of my mind to disregard the pebble completely. it worked. i thought about my future.
sometimes i get lost in the future. i imagine what i want. i realize what i have to do to obtain. i strategize who, what, where, when, and why. i understand how.
and before you know it, 1 mile has turned into 3. my potential realized. my plan of action in bulleted form.
but then that pebble resurfaced. blocking my focus. inhibiting further progress. ouch, you little bitch.
time to deal with the demons.
i jogged off the beaten path into a clearing near the water. i looked out into the seemingly endlessness of lake michigan.
i felt small in a big world. just the way it should be.
i took off my shoe.
located that pebble.
took it between two fingers.
and threw it as hard as i could into that vast, blue lake.
i exerted way more energy than necessary. that pebble was freaking tiny in comparison to me and my life, but it caused just enough damage that it deserved every ounce of missile-like projection into oblivion.
it was gone. for good.
small obstacle, big throw, happy ending.
i hopped back on the path, and jogged once again.
onward.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
