Since my last post was directed at granola bars, I think it's extremely important for this blog to be filled with AS MUCH intensity and excitement as the last one. So, here goes, today's topic is:

Disney movies.

Let's discuss this, shall we?

Okay, so from time to time I have the tendancy to watch Disney movies. Why? They're simple. They usually evoke no laughter, no surprise, no mystery. Why? Because you've seen them a million times. Yet, something still makes me want to watch them. Do I care that I'm admitting to this? God no. Go watch your fucking japanese anime porn, you freak, don't sit there and judge me for watching Disney.

Sorry about that. Anyway. So let's talk about my favorites:

Aladdin - Quite possibly my favorite Disney flick of all time. This is mostly due to the fact that Aladdin and I were seperated at birth:



I know, right?

But I digress...this movie was actually funny at some point in time due to Robin Williams being the voice of Genie. Plus, it's supposed to be set in India, although Agrabah is based off of Baghdad, which is home to the "arabian" aspect of the movie. I love India/Arabia stuff. Plus, the music in this movie hosts some of the best Disney tunes ever created. Yes, there are great songs in other movies, and I'll get to them eventually.

And Abu? Cutest. sidekick. ever. We'll also get to sidekicks later, too. All in all though, Aladdin is my favorite Disney movie. Watch it.

The Little Mermaid - Yeah, really dumb name but still a great Disney film. Again, this movie owes it's songwriters everything because they honestly made this movie. The plot was pretty dumb if you think about it. Selling your soul to the devil (Ursela)...honestly? Just to have legs? Girls are so vain. Bright young women, sick of swimmin' and ready to stand? So, not only is this movie religious, it's political, too. Whatever, the music rocks. Don't you just love the part where she's in her underwater cave with all the junk in it...and she's up against the painting of a candle and she goes, "What's a fire and why does it...what's the word? BURN!

And now, in you're head, you're singing, "WHEN'S IT MY TURN? WOULDN'T I LOVE, LOVE TO EXPLORE THAT SHORE UP ABOOOOVE..." You know you did. Admit it.

And what's up with Flounder? Isn't he essentially the face of Casper the Friendly Ghost except in fish format?
+ = lame.

My third favorite is Lion King. This movie is great for so so many reasons. The concept is pretty humble, but the characters are intense. Mufasa, with his booming voice, is stampeded to death. Scar, Mufasa's brother, has him killed. Nathan Lane does the voice of the rodent, which is priceless. And JTT does the voice of young Simba. What more could you ask for?

Next is Dumbo. Why Dumbo? Have you seen Dumbo!? I never realized how sad, depressing, and weird this movie is until recently. When they seperate Dumbo from his mother -- was that not the single saddest parent-trauma that Disney has inflicted upon young, emotional children? Dumbo's mom was merely protecting her baby from cruel kids, and then Dumbo is so sad when Mom gets put into the crazy-elephant bin. UGH, I'm sad just thinking about these scenes.



Why does Disney kill off the parents in like every movie? Seriously, let's make a list:

1. Bambie
2. Fox and the Hound
3. The Lion King
4. Finding Nemo
5. Tarzan
6. Dumbo (she might as well have died because it was just as traumatic)
7. The Jungle Book
8. Aladdin (There's reference to Aladdin's parents being dead, and where's Jasmine's Mom?)
9. The Little Mermaid (Where's the Mom)
10. Beauty and the Beast (Where's the Mom)

What is with the anti-parent/single parent theme in Disney movies? It's not right.

Long tangent - sorry. Next -

Toy Story is AMAZING...both through song and content. I can barely comment on this movie since it's such an entertaining and thoughtful flick. This is the first Disney movie that I saw in the theatre, and I will never forget how sad I was when the mangled toys didn't end up being bought or found by some kid. But, all I have to say is this:

"Hey, Hannah!"

Pinocchio. Ah, this movie makes me feel nostalgic because I watched it all the time growing up. I especially love the scene where Gimney is trying to sleep and all the clocks are rhythmically ticking. I love the clock that features a mom spanking her son as the alarm feature. Hm, domestic violence + alarm clock = brilliance! Also, the rest of that movie is seriously messed up. Especially when Pinnochio starts smoking cigars, drinking booze, and growing facial hair. It's sooo weird. And they're practically in a brothel. Wow.

Snow White and Cinderella are pretty good, though honestly, I've probably only seen them a time or two. They're too princess-involved for me to take pleasure in it. Also, Beauty and the Beast is good, but it's still pretty girly. Although, I used to know a priest that sounded exactly like Gaston, in both speaking and singing voices. So church was always fun because I always envisioned him singing "Just watch, I'm going to make Belle my wiiiiiiiiife!"

Here are some other good'ins that I haven't seen recently enough to comment on, but I still love:

• 101 Dalmations
• Robin Hood
• Jungle Book
• Peter Pan
• Lady and the Tramp (I jizz everytime the cats start singing "We are Siamese if you please, we are Siamese if you don't please!" ba-bonk bonk bonk)
• Bambi
• Fox and the Hound (I love Todd...and foxes)

Now there are a few movies/people I don't like, but Disney insisted on putting these movies out anyway:

Hunchback of Notre Dame is an okay movie, but the villain in this movie is way too creepy and politcal for me to enjoy. This movie has it moments, but I don't need to subject myself to psychotic priests. There's enough of them running around in real life.

I don't even know what this movie is about, nor will I ever see it because this creature looks like it will bite me and I have a fear of animals biting me. Sorry Lilo....or Stitch, whichever you are.

To wrap up the Disney blog, there are a few movies I haven't seen all the way through yet, and therefore cannot comment on them either. I'm not sure that I will ever see/finish these movies, but I would really like to:

• Pocahontas
• Alice in Wonderland
• Tarzan
• Sleeping Beauty

All in good time.

I've really put a lot of time and effort into this and wow...look at the results. Tell me your favorite Disney movies. Come to my house and we'll discuss them over refridgerated granola bars and Frost gatorade.

So, instead of my typical American Idol rant (Yay Elliott!) I feel it's best to plug another obsession in my life: Quaker Granola Bars: Chewy Dipps - Peanut Butter.

Wow. These granola bars are absolutely amazing and have become an everyday part of my life. In fact, without them, my life seems incomplete. I simply must have one of these granola bars everyday as a part of my breakfast at work. They're reasonably nutritious - coming in at 150 calories per bar. That's not too bad considering the chocolately and peanut butter goodness inside every bar.

To "switch things up" every now and then, I like to refridgerate my granola bars, as the crispness in every bite seems to add to their delight.

Get yours today! Although, do not buy them at the Coralville Super-Walmart as that is where I buy mine and I always seem to be buying the second-to-last box of them, so apparently, others have caught on to this granola bar craze.

Mmm...this was a fascinating and delicious entry.

Jealous!?

So, I feel bad about using my "blog" space to write about American Idol. There are far more important and stimulating things going on in my life to write about, and I sometimes overlook these events due to my mild fascination and obsession with Idol.

But first we really need to talk about American Idol. So, last night's show was really good. For the most part, everyone did fairly well -- some more than others. Chris was whatever...but that's because Chris IS whatever to me. No strong like or dislike there. Paris was pretty good, but kind of boring, and to make matters worse, I didn't know the song she was singing. Taylor = stupid. He's boring, he has horrible hair, and I just feel like he's gimmicky. Now, I'll give props to Ace for once. I actually liked his song and voice last night. He sang the song well and his outfit was pretty nice. However, the hair? Are you kidding me? It was as if he literally just finished his 8 hour shift at Long John Silver's, pulled off his hair net, threw on some clothes, and landed on stage to sing. It was not working for him at all, and I think it actually distracted viewers from his performance. Maybe that's why I liked his performance -- I was too busy trying to figure out his hair to even notice his vocals.

Anyway, I digress.

So Kelly Pickler. Wow. Pitchy. Horrible song, horrible rendition, horrible vocals. Elliot...oh Elliot. I love Elliot. He has such a great voice and is such a nice guy. But the personality did not shine, once again. The song -- mediocre. He didn't even jazz it up with some powerhouse vocals or anything. It was good...but good enough? I'm scared for him. Now, Katherine was pretty amazing last night. I don't know if she was as amazing as what the judges gave her credit for, but she did wrap up the show pretty nicely. Katherine is an extremely pretty girl with a great voice, and that might be enough for her to win. Unless something miraculous happens to Elliot's personality, then he too might win.

I'm so sad right now because I know Elliot is outta' here. Wahhhh.

I'll write about more personal, important stuff later. Unless something major happens on American Idol tonight.

I really, really want an iPod. I just figured my life would be so much easier with one. I made, oh, 5 cd's this weekend, and I thought, that really shiny, black iPod I saw in the store the other day was so pretty...and necessary to life.

My birthday is coming up.

HINT.

I've been busy today with meetings and conferences, so I haven't been able to express my emotional struggle with the release of Mandisa and her fat ass from American Idol.

First of all, I love Mandisa. She's humble, she's spiritual, and she can sing. Wow, can she sing.

Her ass and legs are too big though. Seriously. Way too big.

Anyway, how is it that she was voted off? Why is REDNECK COUNTRY-BUMPKIN COWBOY Bucky still on the show? Well, I have an answer to this. The reason that Bucky is able to stay on the show is the same reason why President Bush has been our President for 6 years now.

AKA: our country is full of REDNECKS. Yep, rednecks. All of the south, most of the midwest, and every state further west excluding California, Oregon, and Seattle (they're full of soft liberals and actors) are chop-full of rednecks. When there's a good ol'fashion votin ceremonee going on...you better believe the rocks will be turned and wooded areas will empty. That's just the society we live in. We have to deal with it. There is simply no room for obese black women in America. Atleast not on TV. Did you know that the same amount of people watched the Country Music Awards, as did the Oscars? It's true.

Now, I realize I come from the hick-ridden state of Illinois and currently reside in the desperately-outdated state of Iowa, however, I consider myself to be a progressive thinker. You want to know who I'm rooting for? Elliot. He's ugly, he's partially-deaf, he's misunderstood, and he can sing. He can sing real pretty. Now before I explain my vote, I'll explain whom is voting for whom, per singer.

Now, the East coast and liberal West coast states I mentioned earlier...those people are voting for Chris Daughtry and Paris Bennett. These two are current, they're stylish, they're mainstream--they're typical radio/MTV-worthy singers...boring. College frat boys are voting for Kelly Pickler because she's a blonde idiot, and she's of course a virgin. Virgins are typically THAT stupid..."What's a ballsy!?" Senior citizens are voting for Taylor due to his limited dance moves and salt-and-pepper hair, which are something they can relate to. Ace's voters consist of 10-14 yr. old girls and gay twinks. Katherine holds onto the 21-32 female business women category. Think Diet Pepsi. And then, of course, we all know who votes for Bucky. Think Mountain Dew.

Now Elliot is different. He's ugly, YES. He has bad teeth, YES. He's deaf in one ear, YES. He sort-of look likes a retarded younger brother of Nick Lache, YES. But wait. The kid is so freakishly humble and polite, you can't HELP but like him. On top of that, he can sing. He has an amazing voice and he has an immense amount of possibility. Clay Gayken was about the ugliest thing you'd ever seen until given a hairstylist and wardrobe team. Now look at him. His sassy new look tricks millions of girls into thinking that he's dreamy and straight. Wow! But honestly, that kid can sing, too, and his voice is what I respect.

So, I see a future for Elliot. I see him continuing down this road known as American Idol, and with all hope, President Bush will hold a Pig Squeelin' contest - distracting the rednecks from voting for Bucky and allowing the rest of us to not use our demographics and personal preferences to find a winner...but to let our ears do the voting and allow the real American Idol to please stand up.

Newsflash:

After a bizarre dream last night, I came across a rather startling conclusion after laying in bed and piecing the dream back together.

I'm not going to fully describe the dream, because hey, I already lay myself out there for public scrutiny by revealing all of the weird, stupid, and unattached thoughts or experiences that I have. Actually, it's kind of like the lyrics to that Breathe (2 am) song:

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them,
however you want to

So, to talk about my dream would only lessen it's meaning and internal significance; I'll just talk around it.

So, my startling conclusion -- I'm no longer going to have "enemies." Now, if you know anything about me, you'll know that once you burn a bridge with Ryan Sumner, well that bridge is gone forever. And no amount of money could afford the construction crew to come build another. After my dream, I realized there are quite a few people in my life (directly or indirectly) that I truly do not care for or respect due to these burnt bridges. I also realized that holding these people to whatever deed or misfortune that may have come between us, is a complete waste of time and emotion. It's such an unattractive quality to be bitter and unforgiving. It's also so completely unneccessary that I wish I had realized it earlier.

Now is better than never.

I'm going to "let go" of these typically unabashed, unapologetically disinterested feelings I have in this grouping of people who have done me wrong, or I just eventually came to dislike. None of those feelings will ever produce any worthwhile element in my life, so why hold on? Most of these feelings are SO internal, too. I mean, really, when was the last time I ever lashed out at somebody? I've never started or created external conflict, nor will I ever. I don't talk or even acknowledge existence to these certain people. So why should I allow it to take precedence or take up any valuable space in my life? I really shouldn't...

So, to YOU...you typically disliked and disrespectful individual/s of my lifetime -- I no longer hold anything against you. Nothing. In fact, I really don't care about any wrongdoings or "non-wrongdoings" that may have happened in the past. It's over, and I'm way over it.

Clean slate; day 1.

FREAKED

Oh my God. So I just had the weirdest feeling ever and it stemmed from the weirdest series of thoughts EVER. So, I was reading the news today at work. I have this weird thing, that, if I don't read the news, I'll think that I'm missing out on something really important, and that thought freaks me out so I read the news like 10-20 times a day. Weird, I know.

Anyway, so after reading about Tom DeLay not seeking re-election and Katie Couric going to CBS, I then stumble upon an article about the Earth being warmer 247 million years ago. I thought it sounded mildly interesting since I just read an article 2 hours earlier about how the mountains will never have snow on them again in approximately 15 years due to global warming. So, I start reading about this info and I come across a timeline about the Earth's geological time scale. It basically explains what life was like, temperatures, existing organisms, and all kinds of stuff a real long time ago. Well, what freaked me out was the fact that this timeline goes back 3.8 BILLION YEARS. This freaked me out. I was thinking, "The Earth can't be 3.8 billion years old, that's a freakish amount of time! I mean, the dinosaurs were roaming the Earth a mere 65 million years ago, and that is already unfathomably old. So, add a few more billion years on top of that, and it becomes mind-boggling!"

So, this notion freaks me out hardcore. And what do I do when I get freaked out? I link to Google as quick as possible. So I googled Earth's age and sure enough, the Earth is roughly around 4 billion years old, and that is simply a scientific estimate. Apparently, scientists have found rocks on this Earth that are almost 3.4 billion years old. So, if one is to assume that these rocks were formed during the creation of Earth, that would put a few hundred million years on them before Earth's actual creation.

This freaked me out even more. I mean, think about it - the Earth has been around for 4 billion years...an amount of time that is wildly beyond all imagination and possibility. Earth couldn't support life until 3 billion years later when the first micro-organisms first appeared, allegedly (said in a Star Jones-type fashion). So, what...was Earth similar to our present-day Mars? And if so, in 4 billion years is Mars going to be similar to Earth and have it's own life forms and people!?!

THEN I THOUGHT, okay, if the Earth is THAT old, how old are the other planets? If they're anywhere near the age of Earth, or even older, they would of had to conjure up some type of life form or organisms.

THEN I THOUGHT, OH MY GOD ALIENS ARE REAL.

THEN I THOUGHT, okay, if the Earth is 4 billion years old, how old is the UNIVERSE? The mere thought of this sent me into a rage. OKAY, IF THE UNIVERSE IS REALLY OLD, HOW DID IT BEGIN? Is God 4 billion years old? If so, how is that possible that we personify God as a person? There weren't even people til 4 billion years after God's creation or existence.

THEN I THOUGHT, oh my God, THEN WHAT AM I? Am I a simple product of an endlessly-aging atmosphere that can sustain life?

THEN I THOUGHT, well if the Earth is THAT old, it's bound to DIE.

THEN I THOUGHT, oh my God, the Earth could blow up at any second. That means I will DIE.

THEN I THOUGHT, I would never even know I died. If the world blew up, no one would ever even know because it would happen so quickly and instantaneously that life would be over in the smallest fraction of a moment. It'd be like blinking.

THEN I THOUGHT, what if I blink and THE WORLD IS OVER!?!?

THEN I THOUGHT, dammit, I already said I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW.

So now, my life is being measured by blinks, never knowing when my last blink will be.

Do you see how freakishly weird these series of thoughts are? And YES, this all occurred to me sequentially in my head. I literally wanted to scream.

THANK YOU MSNBC!

So, is anyone staying in Iowa City over the Easter weekend?

I am. My parents are going out to Colorado for a couple of weeks and won't be back until after Easter. So, since my brother and sister live in Colorado, most of my family will be together in Colorado for Easter except me. I'm not too upset. Easter really only involves going to church, and right now, I'm not up for it. I mean, I'll go if need be, but not on my own recognizance.

So, I'm hoping there's still life in Iowa City over the holiday weekend. Otherwise, Buster and I will have plenty of bonding time, that's for sure. Yay.

I'm nearing the finish line with the Chicago move. I have several jobs lined up that I'm applying for, and hopefully interviewing for in the very near future. I'm looking at apartments as we speak. John F. and I will potentially be rooming together, so I'm looking at some places downtown that we could afford. There's definitely a plethora of availabilites, and it's great to finally have a few options for once.

Movin' on up.